Silence

Silence

Silence.
It is one of the nouns
I used to describe myself
to my students.
But why they always ask?
Why silence?
Are you a quiet person
or do you just like silence?
It is not so much about the silence of others,
but the silencing of my own brain and
of my heart.
When I silence myself,
I am able to hear the symphony
of the Ultimate which is everywhere
and playing every instrument.
I hear it in the opening and closing of doors.
I feel it when people reach out for help.
I hear it in the songs of the birds and
other animals in our environment.
I see it in the grass moving
even when I cannot see the breeze.
The Ultimate is in every moment
and always has a message for me.
It is only in my own silence
that I can hear it.

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Heart Condition

Heart Condition

My doctor recently said,
your heart sounds good.
I have had stress tests,
ekgs
and so this was not new news.
But how my heart sounds or looks
on some cardiovascular test
is not the same as the condition of my heart.
What is most important for me
is whether my heart is
hard, soft, closed, shut, proud, broken, or tender.
Over the last year my heart has been broken
and at times quite tender, but
it has never been closed or hard or shut.
It has stayed soft and open.
There have been moments
where I have had to open it up
and massage away the hardness
like I massage kale for a salad.
There are always moments that seek to harden us.
However, we can keep our heart soft.
I keep my heart soft and open
and allow it to heal when it needs it.
What is the condition of yours?

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More Than a Letter

More Than a Letter

I get emails all day long and every day,
but rarely do I get a letter.
There is something special
and at times sacred about a letter,
especially when they are handwritten.
It is like you can feel the presence of the person
as you read their words.
I once had three pieces of paper left for me one morning.
One said I,
one said love
and the last said you.
Nothing fancy about three post it notes,
but the power of them
and the meaning behind them,
humble me
and take me back in time.
I have letters the person has scented
and decades later I can still smell them.
I wish I had kept more of them
as I was growing up,
but I have them now
to read,
to inhale, and
to experience
as I remember they are
more then just letters.

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The Beginnner's Mind

The Beginner’s Mind

Shunryo Suzuki once said,
“In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities,
but in the expert's there are few.”
Perhaps that is because the beginner’s mind is free.
It has not yet been told what it can
and cannot do.
It is free from fear,
free from expectations,
free from worry,
free from teachings,
and all that binds it
in one way or the other.
What if we give ourselves the gift of freedom?
what if we forget all that binds us
and set ourselves free?
What might we achieve
because we have forgotten we can’t.
What if we forget our own limitations
and free ourselves to fly?
What if we adopted a beginner’s mind
so the possibilities are endless
and the journey takes on a new meaning
of amazing.

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Let go

Let Go

What are you holding on to?
That was the question I had to ask myself
when I found myself not wanting
to talk to someone.
With one person I wanted to talk to them
and was glad they called,
but I was still healing from words they had spoke
out of anger.
Another person
I find myself cringing every time they contact me
because I have not forgiven them for months of bullying.
I need to forgive them both,
not for them, but for me.
I need to let go, let God,
and give myself the gift of letting go
and not holding on to the pain of the past.
It is time to just let go.

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My Transformation

My Transformation

I know this may sound crass,
but if I do not ask for your help,
do not help me.
Encourage me,
believe in me,
be present,
but let me blossom and transform
on my own.
I am like a butterfly
in a cocoon at some stages of my journey.
If you try to help a butterfly out
before it is strong enough to break free
on its own,
you can kill it.
What I am going through
may seem challenging and hard
and it probably is,
but I have to go through it
to become strong enough
that I can spread my wings and fly.
We have to let each other
go through and transform
no matter how hard it is to watch.

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Opposites

Opposites

We are taught to think
we are either or
but what if we are
both/and.
What if like a bird
we need both wings to fly?
What if we are supposed to embrace
the masculine and feminine within us?
What if we are supposed to embrace
the light and the dark?
Do we even understand one,
without the other?
Being biracial, I am not
black or white
but me, black and white.
What if the universe created opposites
so we could learn from the other?
What if opposites were not meant to divide,
but unify?
What if opposites could help each other
see and build bridges, rather then walls.
What if we made room at the table for all,
instead of separating the thems from the thems.
What if opposites are not opposites
but just reflections of itself?

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Thank You

Thank You

What brings you joy?
One thing that brings me joy
is being of service.
There is something about being of service,
of helping others,
of making a difference in the world that
brings me joy.
So to all those who have allowed me to help them,
thank you.
Every time you allow me to help,
you bring me joy.
Every time you allow me to be of service,
you bring me joy.
Every time you allow me to make a difference,
you bring me joy.
Thank you.

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Compassionate Joy

Compassionate Joy

Today I had the chance to watch someone
experience joy.
It was the most humbling experience.
I was sharing in this amazing moment
and found myself feeling compassion for her
and what she was experiencing.
I had had moments like that as well,
but usually its by myself
or something I write about in my joy journal.
What if I began sharing my joy with those I love,
just like I share my struggles?
What if I talked about how much joy I had
in making my refried beans today
or my Mexican rice
or in reading posts from students
who pushed themselves academically
or in watching someone win and pick out their prize
or to see people sitting in the garden
experiencing peace.
What if we all shared our joy with each other
and allowed each other to experience
compassionate joy?

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I don't Know

I Don’t Know

There is nothing wrong with saying,
I don’t know.
There is so much I do not know.
I am not sure there is anything
I know everything about.
It's ok to say
I don’t know.
it gives us permission
to grow,
learn,
evolve and
encourage others to do the same
I don’t know
doesn’t mean I will never know.
It just means I do not know at this moment,
but I will go learn
and then I will share that information with you.
Then WE will know
and we will have grown together
That is one of the best parts of this life,
learning and growing and together going from
I don’t know
to we know.

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Present

Present

There have been a few places in my life
where I have just gone and sat
and done nothing but be present.
I had this oversized wooden rocking chair,
there was an old church space,
which rarely got used after they built the new one,
and there is my prayer and meditation garden.
I love to just sit there and be.
I would and still can sit for hours
and just be.
Why do you just sit there,
I was once asked. 
What are you thinking about?
All I could say is,
I just am.
I am present with the Ultimate and
the Ultimate is present with me
and we are present with each other.

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Enriching

Enriching

How is God enriching you now?
That was the question
someone asked me.
It has stopped me and made me question
how is God improving me right now.
How is God enriching me?
How is God making me of greater value
to myself, others, or the world.
With all the challenges I have faced today,
I know they have been filled with opportunities
for me to grow and evolve.
Today I am learning how to be strong
and advocate for myself.
I am learning how to farm,
as I have had to figure out what I need to do
and when so that all is in place
that needs to be.
I am learning how to be more forgiving
and love unconditionally,
even when others think things are more important
then our relationships.
I am learning to laugh and
surrender and not let life
steal my joy.
Maybe there is more,
but in the midst of this
rather frustrating day
this is how I feel myself
being enriched.

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Being A Conduit

Being A Conduit

Sometimes I want to believe
I am in control,
but I am not and
in all honesty I do not want to be.
When I am in control,
I limit my own existence.
I limit the opportunities the Universe
has to use me as a conduit for others.
Being a conduit
does not mean I am comfortable.
It means I am opening myself up
to opportunities to grow,
to be of service,
to expanding my world
and my understanding of it.
Being a conduit means not only does
energy flow through me to others,
but it allows the energy from others
to flow through me.
Each moment I have a choice/
I can close my borders
or open them and allow
the universe to flow through me
and to me.
I am grateful for the ongoing choice
to be a conduit.

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Dancing

Dancing

I may not be able to
dance like I once could,
but I dance in other ways.
Watching others dance reminds me
that dancing is about more then the moves.
it is about making your partner look good.
It is about being Fred to Ginger
and Ginger to Fred.
it is about understanding each other
and knowing how to show off their strengths
and minimize their weaknesses.
It is about practicing with each other,
learning with and from each other
It is about dancing with each other daily,
not just on special occasions
or when others are watching.
It is not about the physical movements,
but the way we dance with each other
emotionally,
mentally,
and spiritually.
It is not about the style
but about the skills that go into
the dance.

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Yak Yak Yak

Yak Yak Yak

Sometimes that is what
my brain is saying to itself.
Yak Yak Yak – absolutely nothing.
It is what happens when I allow
fear into my mind.
it starts creating stories
about stuff and tries to make itself
bigger and more important then it is.
Fear is nothing more then
false
evidence
appearing
real.
When the yakking starts,
I have to be intentional about stopping it
and turning my hearing towards truth.
I have to
face
everything
and
rise.
I have to rise above the yakking
and listen to the
wisdom and the truth
not the fear.

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Look at the View

Look at the View

These were the words of wisdom
from a homeless man
who said
“look at the view.”
He had nothing,
but he had everything.
He could see the world
and the beauty in it.
He saw the view
not just what was in front of him.
His philosophy taught me to see
not just what was in front of me,
but to pay attention to the world and
look at the view.

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The First Agreement

The First Agreement

I was talking about The First Agreement
with a friend.
it sounds simple -
Be impeccable with your words.
But your words come from your thoughts
which come from your beliefs
which come from your experiences.
My experience of someone
are not just about what they say
but their body language
and their facial gestures.
Then it hit me,
I not only need to
be impeccable with my words,
but with my body and my face.
My words may be sounding loving,
but what you are seeing may not.
If I am not impeccable with all of me
then I limit my ability to experience all of you
and your ability to experience all of me.
When we are impeccable with all of our communication,
we allow ourselves to see more of the
Divine in each other.
Perhaps the first agreement
should just be --
be impeccable.

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Designer Label

Designer Label

I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was a line from one of my first sermons.
I said, “We are divine by design,
because were designed by the divine.”
When I look at people,
I try to remember they are wearing
a designer original.
They too are divine by design
because they are designed by the divine.
I remember that
to remind me to treat others with reverence.
Cambodians lift people they rever up
so their heads are above theirs.
Others fold their hands together
and bow their heads in reverence.
Whatever your gesture,
practice something to show
that the Divine in you
sees the Divine in them.
For me, it is just seeing that
imaginary designer label.

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silence

Silence

Silence is one of my favorite
spiritual exercises.
You would think silence
would be easy to practice,
but it’s not.
It requires practice
to silence all the noise in my world
enough I can hear
the symphony of silence
in the universe.
The more I am able to silence
the world around me
and the noises in my head,
the more I am able to hear
the ways the universe
is speaking to me
and the symphony
which I can only hear
in my silence.

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Enough

Enough

I love window shopping.
It is an ongoing reminder
I have enough.
it is not that I do not see things I like,
I do,
but in all honesty,
I have enough.
If I need it,
then I get it,
but wanting is not needing
and with most things
I have enough.
Twice a year we go through
and share what we no longer need
with others,
because sometimes
we have more than enough.
I do not need
clothes I never wear
or things I never use
or books I no longer read.
Having what I need
is enough
and that is plenty.
Sharing what I no longer need
ensures others have enough too.

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