We all have ways of doing things in our life. Over time, they become patterns. For example, my family knows that my morning pattern once I wake up begins with my going to the bathroom, filling up my water glass, if it is not already filled from the night before, then doing my morning spiritual ritual – five things I am grateful, what is inspiring me, what my intention is for the day and taking a few minutes to reflect on the thought for the day. We all have patterns in our life.
Sometimes others become so accustomed to our patterns that out patterns become important to them as well. Some of the patterns in our life have been a part of our life for a long time; others are newly formed. The problem is that we, unlike patterns, are not set and routine, we are ever changing. What I have been reminded of lately is that sometimes patterns that worked at one point in time in our life, no longer work for who we are in the present. As we change, we need to accept that some of our patterns may change. As we adjust to our new patterns, others may find it challenging to accept the change in patterns as well.
As Alice Walker once wrote, “it is never the same river twice.” Like the river, we are never the same person. The path a river was once able to follow does change over time and thus the patterns in our life may change as well. It is not that we are contradicting ourselves. The patterns we may have put in place at one point in life worked for us then, but they no longer work for who we are now.
When we make changes to the patterns in our life, it is not because there is anything wrong. It is merely because we have recognized that we are growing and evolving in our life. As we love ourselves into new patterns in our life, we will come to a new and deeper understanding of ourselves. The same can be true of our relationship with others. As we work with each other lovingly in adapting to the changing patterns in our lives, we provide each other with the opportunity to know and love each other more fully. May we remember each day to accept and embrace changing patterns in our lives and in the lives of those we love.