Win or Lose

Win or Lose

I have fought so many battles in my life.
They have not been against others,
but within myself.
At times, I have had to fight
just to survive
It started the day I was born
and had to fight to live.
There was the fight to be loved,
until my parents found
and adopted me.
Then there was the fight to be accepted
because I was always told
I was not enough.
I was not white enough
or black enough
or lesbian enough
or Jacobson enough
until I fought back
kicking the lies to the curb
and winning the truth
that I was more then enough.
I won the truth
that I was who the Ultimate created me to be.
I am who I am
and who the Ultimate
helps me to become.
My life is not battle free,
but the difference is
that I always emerge stronger
winning grace and mercy
from the Ultimate
and losing
those qualities which hold me back
and seek to destroy me.
In the battles I enter now,
I always win because I work with the Ultimate.

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What Are You Wearing?

What Are You Wearing?

Do you have an outfit
or something you wear
which makes you feel loved.
I have this long sleeved black dress
that wraps around me and
fits me perfectly where it should
but also makes me feel like I
an wearing a baggy sweater
which is soft and warm
and makes me feel loved.
There are some places
baggier then others
especially as I lose weight.
Everytime I wear it though
I feel as if the Ultimate
is around me,
wrapping me in love,
grace,
and compassion.
What are you wearing
and does it feel like
God is on you and with you.

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Simmering

Simmering

It was one of those cooking show lessons,
about meats that are tough
and need to spend hours simmering.
Over time of simmering in broths or juices
they become tender, juicy, and full of flavor.
It is the process that I enjoy.
Most people I know,
do not simmer,
but perhaps we should,
Simmering requires us to slow down,
to plan,
and to allow time and space
for transformation.
It means we step away from
the fast, rapid and instant prep
and take time to simmer
not just in our food prep
but in our spiritual transformation.
Sometimes we need to simmer
in the wisdom and mystery
the Ultimate puts before us.
Sometimes we need the time to
sit with it and simmer.
There is a time for microwave magic,
and a time for us to sit and simmer.

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Beginner’s Ears

Beginner’s Ears

"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities,
but in the expert's there are few"
Shunryu Suzuki said.
What if we applied that to
what we hear.
How often do we not hear
or hear what we think people are saying
because we have expert ears?
What if we listened with beginner’s ears?
Would we hear with wonder and bewilderment?
Would we hear rhythms and vibrations,
would things sound like words
or like music
or something else I can’t imagine?
Or would I even hear with human ears?
Would I hear the symphony of sounds
and of whisperings
coming from the Ultimate
in a way that can be heard
only by beginner’s ears.

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My Heart Condition

My Heart Condition

My heart is fine,
at least as far as I know,
so don’t worry.
Periodically,
I need to assess my heart,
I need to look for where it is hard,
where it is soft,
where it is closed,
open,
proud,
broken,
or tender,
Sometimes I reach in and lift it up
and feel it.
I feel for the hard spots
and massage them with love.
I have learned, over time,
to be my own cardiologist.
I work on the broken places,
and make them whole.
I look for the tender pieces,
and strengthen them
just enough to be loving and kind,
but strong and supportive.
I not only heal it,
removing the beliefs that cause it pain,
but I listen to it.
Not with a stethoscope,
but with silence.
The silence which allows
me to hear the Ultimate in my heart,
in each beat,
and in each sound surrounds me.
It is in the silence,
that I hear my heart beating,
and the heart of those who need me,
of the birds who sing to me,
of the flowers that bloom for me
and of the animals which bring me love.
I hear my heart beating
in the spirits which surround me
and the ancestors who travel with me.
When I hear my heart,
I hear the symphony
I can only hear in the silence
and which reminds me
of the open and loving condition of my heart.

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My Courage

My Courage

Sometimes you read or hear something
and it captures you,
touches you,
and won’t let go of you
until you stop and sit with it.
For me, it was two things.
Are you ready for the treasure hunt?
It came to me during a time of fasting and prayer
and I thought it was a message for someone else.
Then it came again
as I listened to a guest speaker.
Then it came again
listening to Elizabeth Gilbert
and I realized it was time.
Time for me to keep digging
and reveal more hidden treasures.
There was more though,
more than just embarking on this treasure hunt.
There was a second question.
It first came from my Bubby
while we were talking about my spiritual journey.
Then it came from my major professor,
who wanted me to find it
and push through my fear.
Then again while listening
to Elizabeth Gilbert.
All who asked me
do you have the courage?
Do you have the courage
to dig deep and do more then
find your hidden treasures?
Do you have the courage to dig deep
and bring them to the surface,
to dive into them and
reveal them to the world
in a way that only I
was created to do in this moment.
I don’t write for me,
or at least it does not feel like it.
I write my poems
as an act of love for the world.
I write because it enables me to
connect with the Ultimate
in a way I am unable to do otherwise.
Writing is what brings me to the ashram
I was never able to get to.
It is what brings me to
the quiet and symphonic state
with the Ultimate
Where I feel the words
and the messages
with every fiber of my being.
Then they flow from me
and through me
in a way that
delights me,
scares me
and reminds me
I am brave,
I have courage,
and my treasures are alive.

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Oh Wow!

Oh Wow! 

Have you ever wondered how
today happened?
I went to bed exhausted
and then woke up this morning
with a chance at another 24 hours,
1,440 minutes, or
86,400 seconds in which to live,
love and experience the wonders of life.
As I have watched people transition,
often times surprisingly
I wonder why me.
Why did I get to wake up this morning
and someone else did not?
I wonder about the mysteries of life
and the mysterious ways the Ultimate works
in and through me.
I wonder,
not because I have to,
but because I have come to understand
that the ability of my students to wonder
is related to their ability to see me wonder
right along with them.
So I wonder
because it keeps the child in me alive
and it keeps the child in you alive
and together we wonder
and wonder what we are going to wonder about next.

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Surprise!

Surprise!

What do you look for
as you move through the day?
What if we chose to see the world
as full of surprises?
If we asked the Ultimate to dazzle us
with a day filled with expressions of caring
goodness, kindness, and grace.
If we looked for the surprises
hidden in our interactions with all.
If we not only looked for the surprises,
but worked on surprising others.
If we cared, just to care
with nothing in return,
just pure uncalculated caring.
If we opened our hearts
to the maximum of their capacity
and shared with those around us
and allowed others to share with us.
If we performed random acts of kindness
and allowed others to share their kindness with us.
If we worked on surprising the world
with good deeds
and opened our hearts
and allowed others to shower us
with surprise bundles of goodness.
If each day was like a surprise party
and every moment was filled with
the experience of Surprise!

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Finding the Ultimate

Finding the Ultimate

Where do you find God?
I shared how God, for me,
is everywhere,
in people, places, and things.
So in nouns?
They asked me.
No, not just nouns,
but in everything in between.
I seek God in all those other moments,
God is in the beyond what I presently see.
I seek the Ultimate in who and what I am among.
I remember to look within me and within others
and I look for the Divine on all that is beneath me,
like the ground I walk
or in my case roll on.
I find the Ultimate
in, on, at and
moving to and from.
I recognize the Ultimate
when I am with others,
thinking about others,
moving through something,
climbing over or moving under.
God is not just about nouns or pronouns
but among the prepositions that connects
the dots and shows the relationships.
I find the Ultimate despite what is happening in life
and because of the journey I am.
God is in all the directions
and all the elements.
When I hear these words
which are in each sentence,
they make me stop
and remember the Ultimate.
The one I find wherever I look.

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Full or Empty?

Full or Empty?

I always say
it’s all about perspective.
I can complain about a situation
or I can look for the blessings
and give thanks for it.
I can whine about it raining again
or be grateful I do not have to water today.
I can complain about what is not in the frig
or enjoy the scraps and leftovers we have.
My friends call them first world problems,
because we know our lives are far more blessed then we realize.
Not sure about you,
but I have reached the point where I am tired of whining.
I refuse to wear anything made from pessimism
and instead focus on
what I have to be grateful for
and the blessings in my life.
I focus on the miracles in my life,
the wondrous things which are happening,
like how all the crazy things
happening to me on Friday the 13th
are all good things this year.
I am mindful that the negative tries to sneak in,
but then I kick it out
and hang this no vacancy sign.
There are moments I feel more
fortunate than others,
but even in the most unfortunate of moments
I can still the blessings and the gifts.
In the midst of this amazing journey,
I remember I am alive
I am forgiving
and I am forgiven.
It is one of those gifts
sprinkled into my being today
because I am seeing life
as half full and not half empty.

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Pebbles

Pebbles

Pebbles,
they are more then a small stone.
Pebbles are about
grounding,
healing,
and connection to the Ultimate.
Pebbles
are about stability,
eternity,
and nature.
Pebbles have meant so many roles in my life.
I have used them to meditate,
give me inner peace,
help me find strength,
and heal.
Pebbles
I used to place them on gravesides
with the person’s name
to honor them
Now, I place them
in my meditation garden,
so I can always visit with
my ancestors and friends.
To others,
they may just look like a pebble,
but to me,
they are so much more.

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Let Go

Let Go

I have always been
a just do it gurl.
Growth, however, doesn’t always come
from adding to our spiritual practices.
Growth comes from
letting it go.
Letting go of that
which drains my energy,
is selfish,
is keeping me from being of service,
is filling me with negative energy,
I have to let go
of the rules and boundaries set by others,
of the need to conform,
of that which freezes my body, mind and soul.
It is in letting go
that I get to grow and evolve
to transform,
and to walk in the fullness
and authenticity of who
and how I was created to be.
So I let go of all
that eases the Ultimate out,
making room for letting God in.
Perhaps that is why I have heard
let go, let God.

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Coward Shadows

Coward Shadow

Most of my life has been about
facing my challenges head on
and using them to grow and evolve.
But the truth is there is a part of me,
maybe a part of all of us,
that is a cowardly shadow
which tells us
you will never reach it,
you can’t do it,
you are not worth it.
Then I stand like a lion
and roar out,
because I am braver
then the coward within me
It may knock me down,
but I am strong
and I never stop.
Sometimes it is just
one step at a time,
but that is how life is.
When we fall,
get back up,
dust yourself off
and begin where you fell.
Never let anything
stop you from living you dreams
Be the brave lion
not the cowardly one.
Be like Elphaba
and never let others
keep you from flying
When your shadow shows up,
acknowledge it
and let it inspire you to grow.

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Stirring my Soul

Stirring my Soul

There are moments when
I just feel sad.
It’s not because of something
or anything that happened.
Sometimes I feel sad.
because nothing is stirring my soul.
nothing is exciting me or
lighting a fire within me.
Despite all I do to
stir my soul
sometimes I need to do more.
I need more then my writing,
my journaling and my time with nature
especially when we live in times
that promote hatred and division.
Sometimes I need to remember
what stirs my soul
when my soul really needs to be stirred.
So I immerse myself in stories.
The stories people tell through
their memories,
their poetry,
their lives.
I immerse myself in song
listening to the music that
touches me and lifts me
to a higher vibration.
I immerse myself in service
stepping outside of my insulation
and my comfort
and ministering to others.
I immerse myself in life
in a way that activates my inner wisdom
and helps me find joy in everyday life
and stirs my soul.

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New Things

New Things

I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth;
do you not perceive it.
I heard that so many times,
but today I realized
there was so much
I was not perceiving.
I was not seeing
the new things
springing forth in me.
I could not perceive it.
I could see my efforts to grow and evolve,
but I could not see how
the Ultimate had humbled me
and done new things in me.
I have been waiting for that moment
when I would no longer be ordinary
when I would no longer be ignorant about things.
Then I had this AHA moment
and I recognized that I am ordinary,
that I am ignorant of so much
that I am who I am at this moment
and who I am now
is not who I will be tomorrow
or the day after that.
Each day,
each moment,
the Ultimate is doing a new thing
and it is springing forth in me
in ways of greatness
that I may not immediately perceive,
but when I do
those moments
when I see what is and has sprung forth in me
will be moments of greatness.

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Murmuring

Murmuring

Sometimes murmuring is about
the way we speak,
soft, low, and secretive.
Murmuring
can bring healing or harm.
Murmuring can shift our attention
away from our inadequacies to others.
It is time to stop focusing on the lack in others
and focus on our own needs.
This is a season for us forgive ourselves,
others,
and work on our own growth.
Murmuring about others creates harm,
listening to the murmurs of our own heart
can help us heal.
May we focus on speaking peace and love into this world,
rather then murmuring hurt and harm

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Go with the Flow

Go With the Flow

Go with the flow,
I always say,
when I have to change course,
pivot, or adjust to changes in life.
it is something I do so naturally,
that I don’t even think about it
I just go with the flow.
This afternoon,
I realized it was yet another gift
from my ancestors.
The weeping willow,
outside my window,
waved its branches at me,
saying watch me.
dance with the wind.
We go with the flow,
being tossed and bent,
and remain unbroken.
Go with the flow,
do not push back.
I cannot always have it my way
so I bend and sway,
move like an improvisational dancer,
and go with the flow.
Perhaps it is why I say
everything on my calendar
is flexible, not optional.
Life is full of fluctuations.
Some moments may be easier
to go with the flow,
then others.
so I optimize my ability
to be blown like the branches
by sleeping, eating healthy and .
staying loved.
Taking care of myself
keeps me
centered, balanced and focused enough
to go with the flow.

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Blessed

Blessed

Don’t talk to strangers.
How many times did I hear that growing up?
I understand it was to keep me safe,
but at the same time,
we are all strangers.
I am a stranger to you
who have never met me
and you are a stranger to me
but that does not mean
we are not blessed.
As a child I was told to stay away from strangers,
but as an adult,
as a teacher,
as a consultant,
as a spiritual partner
my life is spent working with
and meeting strangers daily.
I have to release the fear,
seeing and experiencing others
as I would like them to experience me.
Now I remember I am blessed
with each stranger I meet,
I am blessed
With each person who meets me,
may they remember
I am blessed.
I am blessed
and each stranger I meet
is blessed.
If we saw the blessed in each other
how differently might
we see the world,
if we saw strangers
as blessings
coming into our lives.
Would we

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What are you Teaching?

What are you Teaching?

What are you teaching this semester?
I get asked that so frequently.
I could say the names of the courses,
or I can say the disciplines I teach for,
but what I really want to say is this.
I teach people how to become 3 things,
regardless of their discipline.
I teach them to be scholars
bridge builders
and philanthropists.
I teach them to learn how to learn,
to think and question.
I teach them that walls are easier to construct
then bridges,
but walls divide
and bridges unite,
so work with others
and build bridges
Finally, I teach them to be philanthropists.
In all that we learn,
I teach them about giving back
with their time,
their talents,
and their treasures.
I teach them this
because its about making a difference,
working with others,
helping others,
and living in a way
where we walk a path
that is about generosity.
Where each step is about giving.
Giving with our hands,
our heads,
and our hearts.
Five years from now,
they may not remember what they read,
but I hope they do remember
what I taught them
and are sharing those lessons with others.
What are you teaching?

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Does It Have Legs?

Does It Have Legs?

Do you just believe in it
or does it have legs on it?
It was one of those questions
I remembered as a child,
but understood it better as an adult.
If I believe I can do something
but do not act on it
then nothing will happen.
It's got no legs.
Faith, I was told
is belief
that has legs on it.
Using our legs
is not always easy.
Sometimes it is challenging,
painful,
and requires devotion.
Walking in faith
says we are practicing
what we believe.
Putting legs on our practice
can be rigorous at times.
It means we keep walking
in good times and bad
We walk on our legs,
the ones that transform
belief into faith
and know we are not
walking alone.

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