The Clearings

The Clearings

Throught my life, there have been those
who have told me what is wrong with me.
I have not been white enough, black enough or even biracial enough.
I have not been lesbian enough,
smart enough,
charismatic enough,
bold enough,
or just missing something that for them was lacking.
I have spent my life clearing out those messages from my mind and heart.
There focus on lack
has resulted me in focusing on my luster.
On my remembering that I am Divine by design,
because I am continuously being designed and redesigned by the Divine.
The Ultimat has this power to lead us on a journey
that is all about the clearings.
Clearing us of the lies, that what is for others is for us.
What is for you is for you,
What is for me is for me.
So walk in your own way,
with the truth and authenticity
which comes from your journey with the Ultimate/
Clear the doubt and know you are an overcomer
and can clear anything before you.
Sometimes our journeys bring us to land that has been cleared by others
and we build on already cleared land.
Yet, sometimes, we are led to raw land.
Land that we must do the hard work of clearing
then developing and creating what has been given to us,
The creation happens after the clearings.
Know that there will be others who will judge even your clearings,
but it is your clearing.
Like the rest of your journey,
the clearings must also be done your way.

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From My Divers

From My Divers

Words from others,
readers of my poems,
have used words such as
heartfelt,
beautiful, and inspiring.
Then there have been those,
who have made me dive with them
preachable,
paintable,
Negro spiritual,
and Wicked.
They showed me where their dives took them,
allowing me to hear the sermons
and see the paintings.
Then there were those
who said like Negro spirituals
there were messages
beyond the poems.
The poem was a message,
but there was a message
only those knowing the code
and would hear with their own dive.
Then their was my wife,
who hates poetry,
and at the end of Wicked said
these songs are like your poems.
They don’t rhyme,
they don’t follow rules,
they don’t have one meter,
they just are,
but you come to appreciate
the courage and honesty
when you sing your songs
of authenticity and honesty
and dive into a deeper relationship with you
through them.
What a blessing it is
to hear from those who dive
with and because of you and
invite you to dive with them.

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First and Last

First and Last

What would you see
if you looked at me
for the very last time?
Would I look any different?
Would you pay more attention to my words?
Would you remember our hug differently?
What about if it were the first time?
What if we began seeing and experiencing everything
as if it were our first time or our last?
Would it help us to see the gifts in each moment?
Would it help us see the Divine
in each moment and experience?
This next moment is not promised,
so let us appreciate each moment we have
as if it were our first
or our last
and experience it for all of what it is
rather then as if it were just another moment.

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My Golden Rules

My Golden Rules

Growing up, there were two words
which shaped my life.
Minimize and maximize.
Everything in life was about them.
it was about minimizing and maximizing.
Minimize suffering and
maximize happiness.
Minimize the pain and
maximize the joy.
Minimize the conflict and
maximize the peace.
This was just one of my golden rules.
Stand on one foot
was another.
I never liked this
and then I would learn
then do not do unto others.
This was yet another golden rule.
Then there was this one
Do unto others
as you would have them do unto you.
They all are the same rule that
I learned in different ways,
but they all guide me today
as I invite all to stand on both feet,
maximizing their inner peace
as I maximize my own.

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More Than Petty

More Than Petty

I used to hate it when
an adult in my life would
have me do the same thing repeatedly.
Regardless of what it was
the repetition of it
felt petty and utterly useless.
What I did not realize
until years later
was that this ongoing repetition,
was how you got to Carnegie Hall,
except the quote called it practice.
It is what helped me learn
how to control my mind and meditate,
how to silence my brain,
how to shuck an oyster,
prepare an artichoke,
help students understand complex ideas.
It was this repetition
whether it was math tables,
writing letters,
printing them,
learning my lines,
the score of a song
or even the words of my own poem
which allowed me to master
what life needed me to know and do.
I may not ever perform at the physical Carnegie Hall,
but is it the daily repetition of my authenticity
that enables me to be
the best me I can be.
All those minor tasks,
enable me to be me
at my virtual Carnegie Hall
where everything life has me do
is more than petty.

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It’s My Life

It’s My Life

It’s my life.
I keep reminding myself each day,
that this life is mine.
it is my responsibility
to take my own life into my own hands.
Each day that I do not take it upon myself
to do something with it,
I am allowing my life to pass away from me.
I am allowing others to control my life,
and it is not theirs,
it is mine.
Each day is a day for me to restart,
to reset,
to rejuvenate,
to refocus my life and
create something new with it.
It's my life
and today and each day
I will take it upon myself
to make the most of my life that I can.
After all,
it's my life.

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Sophia

Sophia

Sophia, who is she?
My students ask me this every semester
and then I educate them about how
Sophia is not a person to me.
Sophia
is about divine wisdom.
about how wisdom is female.
I explain that Sophia for some
is the female personification of the Divine.
For others Sophia is
the female twin of Jesus.
About how for others
Sophia is the Holy Spirit.
Proverbs tells us that Sophia
came before any human being
and was through whom all was created.
Sophia
is who I call upon and think about
as I celebrate all the wisdom that came before me.
Sophia
is who I move through
as I share my wisdom with others and
Sophia
is whom I introduce others to
so the honoring of all wisdom
is celebrated in all times.
When you are in need of wisdom,
invite Sophia in and
allow her wisdom to flow in and through..

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Spring

Spring

Nothing can hold back the spring
Rev Callan once preached.
The snow,
the ice,
the cold weather,
none of it can hold back the spring.

The spring,
like a new beginning will come,
and nothing can hold it back.
Life,
like the seasons,
is filled with newness.
A newness that emerges
from what was,
what the rain could not wash away,
what the snow could not conceal,
what nothing could eliminate or destroy.
Nothing can hold back the spring,
just as nothing can hold back the changes
that time will bring.
The next spring may be different then the last,
but it like all the others
is a season of beginnings,
of rebirth,
of resiliency,
of newness
of hope
and of promise.
It may not come as quickly as we wish,
but this much I know to be true.
Nothing can hold back the spring.

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Divine by Design

Divine by Design

I am divine by design
because I was designed by the Divine.
I am a work of art,
which hangs in the museum of life.
I am part of a collection of other
pieces of art
and together we bring meaning to the world.
We are more then just works of art,
we are the caretakers of our own work.
Each moment we make choices which
contribute to maintaining our artistry
or deface the work we were created to be.
If I cannot see the beauty within myself,
then how can I expect others to.
If I deface my beauty,
then I give others permission to do the same.
I am committed to self care,
love and compassion
remembering to do so because
I am divine by design
because I was designed by the Divine

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Staying the Course

Staying the Course

There are days
which can seem easier to navigate through then others.
it is not always easy
to stay the course,
when life is filled with challenging weather conditions like
high winds,
heavy storms, or
sub zero temperatures.
It is not always easy to
find the course for our life,
and sometimes even harder to stay it
and sail it in the face of life’s challenges.
It is not always easy to
stay the course when life is filled with
distractions,
frustrations, and
defeat.
It is in the midst of all this,
that we find our strengths and abilities
and move towards our goals,
fulfilling our purpose,
and continuing the quest.
It is in staying the course,
that we let go of that which holds us back,
stay focused on that which we truly yearn
and remember
we are overcomers.

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What are you counting?

What are you counting?

It is on cold wintry days like today
that I find myself drifting back in time,
remembering things we did as kids
and wanting to do them again
while counting what is left on my to do list.
What I would like to be counting
are the memories I am collecting this season.
I can count the experiences of joy,
the things I am grateful for,
the images which provoke memories
and the history of my ancestors.
I can count by images,
cards,
photographs,
poems,
and entries in my journal.
I can count the number of times
I made hot chocolate, cappuccino or chai,
I wore one of my uber cuddly sweaters,
I made pots of soup or chili
or anything that kept me warm on the inside
while others things kept me warm on the outside.
I can count the number of snowfalls,
or like I did as a child, count snowflakes.
What more can I count this winter
that will capture what is happening within me
and around me this winter?
What are you counting?

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This Little Light

This Little Light

It may not have been the first song I learned,
but it is the one I remember learning
at my earliest church memory.
I have temple ones, too,
but singing this little light of mine
stays with me
because in it I made a promise to myself
that I was going to let the light within me shine.
This little light of mine,
I’m going to let it shine.
It never asked me to hide my light,
or conceal my gifts,
or deny the talents and abilities
the Ultimate gave me.
Rather it had me promise myself
to let that little light shine.
When I listen to my intuition,
I am letting it shine.
When I am honoring my ideas,
I am letting it shine.
When I write my poems and my prose,
I am letting it shine.
I know there have been times
I did not let it shine,
but then I took the covers off
I had let others put on me
and now I let my little light shine
I not only let it shine,
but I encourage it to shine as brightly as it can.
I may have had moments where I betrayed myself
in the past,
but now,
I just let it shine.
I let it shine,
let it shine,
and let it shine.

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Trust the Process

Trust the Process

Trust the process,
my Bubby would tell me
during our walks together.
I did not have to like what was happening
or how
or when
or even why,
but I had to trust the process
and know that all that was supposed to be would be.
Trust it Sara Bella, just trust the process.
The process constantly teaches me to be creative
and see what I could not see before.
Life is the ultimate teacher about living.
It is in the process that I get to be creative.
I get to be the artist of my life.
I get to learn new ways of dealing with stress
or disappointment
or things that disturb me.
I get to learn more about myself
and how I move through life
and how I contribute to my own suffering
and my own joy.
Trust the process
and know that the best is yet to come.
Trust that you will learn
what the Ultimate is trying to teach you
and that the process will continue
until you do,
so as my Bubby would say
just trust the process.  Trust it.

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No Matter What

No Matter What

No matter what,
give thanks.
That is what my Bubby would say.
In good times or challenging times,
no matter what
give thanks.
She taught me to see
every moment in my life
whether of pain or confusion
or joy or clarity
or anything in between
as an opportunity
of growth to grow.
She would always tell me
no matter what
give thanks.
This attitude of gratitude
no matter what
enables me to give thanks
in all circumstances
and to see even the most challenging of times
as gifts.
Even the most challenging of times
is a chance to grow,
a chance to evolve
a chance to use the gifts I have been given
and carry all opportunities
with grace.

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Eating the Frog

Eating the Frog

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
except my wife who was reading to me
about the little things people do
which make her laugh
like hiding wrapping paper
in a garment bag,
or your printer in furniture
or empty cardboard rolls in a gift bag
so no one can see them.
I smile as I realize that I have never wanted
or cared about things like this that I consider
unimportant.
I have always believed in eating the frog first,
the task which I least want to do.
it is that thing which you have to do
but would rather not do
and so as a result it never gets done.
Today it was a conversation I did not want to have,
but when the opportunity presented itself

I ate the frog.
That desire to avoid those things I do not want to do
can be like invisible hands holding me back.
But when I let it go
and eat the frog,
I free myself to enjoy all the little things in life
and all the other things I want to do
but prevented myself from doing
because I had not yet
eaten the frog.

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My Teachers

My Teachers

When I think about my best teachers
I first think about the ones
I loved taking classes with,
those that touched my heart
and who allowed me to know
I was loved and respected.
They may have been some of my best teachers
academically,
but some of my best teachers in life
were the people I have not liked at all.
They were the ones I found difficult,
the ones who got on my last nerve.
and the ones who I struggled to find
anything nice in them.
The reality is in the school of life,
they were some of my best teachers.
They are the ones who pushed me
out of my comfort zone
and helped me grow and evolve.
They registered me for classes
I never would have taken.
They taught me lessons
I would never have learned on my own.
I am grateful for all my teachers,
the ones who I wanted to learn from and grow with
and the ones who forced me
to step outside my comfort zone
and grow.

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Blessed and Highly Flavored

Blessed and Highly Flavored

I always tell people
I am blessed and highly flavored.
I know I am blessed.
I have been given so much.
Sometimes I have immediately seen the beauty
in God’s gift to me.
Other times,
I have to be like a chef
and work with what I have been given
and allow the flavors to develop and bloom.
The blessed comes easy,
but the flavored comes from my commitment
and my willingness to work through all circumstances
to find the beautiful while facing difficulties.
It is through the journey that I find the beauty
in the most difficult of times.
The blessed comes from God’s commitment to me
and the flavored comes from my commitment to God.
Together it allows me to know
I am blessed and highly flavored.

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Wasting Time

Wasting Time

Sitting at stop lights (when I drove),
sorting through junk mail,
looking for that thing I cannot find,
waiting in line,
sitting on hold,
waiting for and riding the paratransit bus,
waiting for drs,
waiting for the microwave,
or the air fryer
these are just a few of the ways
I have wasted time in my life.
Moments here and there
that I am sitting
and doing nothing.
Just wasting time.
When you lose so many people in your life
you remember how precious each moment is.
I have a choice,
I remembered,
about how I use that time.
I can continue to waste it
or I can use it like a precious gift
and take those empty moments
and fill them with prayer,
with love notes I text to friends and family,
read or listen to a few pages in a book
meditate,
exercise,  
journal,
or perform a random act of kindness.
in those seconds or minutes
of time and fill them with
an appreciation of our time here
instead of just letting it pass.

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Give It A Try

Give It A Try

Give it a try,
he said, a pupil of Gurdjieff.
That is what amen means,
give it a try.
What if we committed to
giving it a try
every time we said Amen.
It is what we say at the end of
prayers and statements which which we agree.
Do we think about
the word when we say it
and the meaning behind it
or is it just what we do out of habit.
What if we worked on being conscious
and paid attention to our amens
and then committed to
giving a try
to that which we said amen to.

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Find Your Hallelujah

Find Your Hallelujah

Do you know what it is like
to find your hallelujah?
Do you know what it is like
to be filled with so much delight
in your heart, mind, body, and
everything and everyone in your life
that it feels so great to be alive
and you just want to scream
it's good to be alive.
I had had those moments in my life
and they are so hard to explain,
but you know when you have them
and others can tell
just by looking at you
that you found your hallelujah.
Never give up when life gets tough,
because your hallelujah is coming.
Sometimes those moments are bigger then others
but they are still there
and you can still experience them
and others will be moved when they see
you find yours.
It is the challenging times,
that make you appreciate those moments,
that you just have to scream
hallelujah.
Go find yours
and never stop working towards
and living for the next chance to
find your hallelujah.

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