Dear Ultimate,
Thank you for all you have been doing for me. I am not always as positive and grateful as I could be. There are days I let the fear of what almost happened during the last attempt to do a procedure on me color what might happen during this next attempt. Yes, I could have died, but I did not and for that I am grateful. Yes, putting me on the surgical table again is risky, but it is a different surgeon, a different hospital, a different team of specialists, and they have all the knowledge from what happened the last time
Yes, it is scary, but I have to remember Dr Broderick’s words that she would not put me on the table if she could not safely take me off the table alive. I have to remember that she will be able to see things because of the Ultrasound Dr who will be with her. They did not have that the last time. I have to trust her and know she is doing everything she can to find out what is growing inside me, remove it, treat it, and keep me safe.
Read moreWhen I was in seminary, I took a course on advocacy and organizing. One of the questions we were asked to think about was what we felt was the most pressing social issue in contemporary society. Then and now, it is hard for me to pick just one, as there are so many issues that seem important for different reasons. I could talk about the global exploitation of people in developing countries or the trafficking of women as sexual slaves and prostitutes or violence against women or poverty or hate crimes or systemic injustice. My list of issues has grown over the last over the last 10 years. Trying to pick one over the other makes me feel as if I am saying one issue is more pressing than the other, as if I am trying to prioritize them. This is hard for me to do because I think they are all important for different reasons and to different groups of people. At the root of all these issues is a common thread which contributed to their existence. Ultimately, I have come to realize that the most pressing social issue in contemporary society is our inhumanity for and towards each other.
Read moreRecently, a fellow blogger, Ariffa, nominated me for The Versatile Blogger award. It was not like it was one of those big deal awards. It was one of those ways of getting to know other bloggers and to allow other bloggers to get to know you. It was a simple process. You had to list fifteen bloggers that you follow with links to their websites (that was the easier part for me). Then you had to list seven things about you that were interesting. This is where I found myself being stuck. I realized as I stared at this blank screen that I did not think I, or my life, was interesting. The two things I wrote down were not things that I found interesting or thought other people would find interesting, but maybe different or unique. That was that I had six parents (birth, foster, and adoptive) and that I used to say I was part Vulcan as my left ear has a slight point to it. Neither of which seems to fit the definition of interesting, or so I thought. According to the dictionary interesting means, “arousing curiosity or interest; holding or catching the attention.” The only thing I could think of is that sometimes I am able to arouse the curiosity and interest of my students through the material I share with them in the classroom.
Read moreI am not sure that my wife would want me to be different sexually. I do think, however, that she wishes that my body was healthier then it has been for the last several years. I had problems with my knees when we first me and had trouble doing stairs, however, with additional injuries to my back and knees, doing stairs are now not possible and the last time I attempted to come down a single stair I could have easily fallen, and in fact almost did, even though I was using my walker. I think that is frustrating for both of us. People often say well I just have one-step or three steps, but for me that might as well be a mountain and sometimes it is so frustrating because I feel as if people do not understand. Could I go up and down the steps without falling, I have been advised otherwise. It is hard when people tell me I won’t let you fall, I promise. It is not that I do not trust them, I do. I honestly do not think they would wish for me to fall, but I also know that no one can prevent me from falling.
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