You Have a Huge Heart

You Have a Huge Heart

A long time ago now,
when my son was so much younger
someone asked him why I was so fat.
His answer has stuck with me all these years.
She’s not fat,
he said,
God gave her a huge heart
and then gave her a body that could hold it.
I have faced my share of criticism
in my life.
I have been too much
or too little of so many things.
I have heard hateful words
and experienced hateful things,
like when someone bashed the back of my knees,
or when I was raped,
or when I was verbally abused because
I provoked it,
or because I refused to be in the closet
about being biracial
or because I would stand up for myself
and speak truth in all circumstances,
even when it meant invoking the anger of others
Despite all this,
I knew I had not been sent here to hate.
I had been created to
spread love,
help those in need,
and remember the heart I have,
was given to me by the Ultimate.
I don’t think of its size,
until someone tells me
I have a huge heart
and then I give thanks
for the ability to have stayed loving
through it all,
to be loving
in the midst of it all,
to help others through
the worst of it all
and know that no matter what
the Ultimate’s love
for me and for others
is never ending
and flows from
one heart to another,
I may have a smaller body one day,
but I pray that my heart
will always be huge.

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Hatred

Hatred

Hatred
I grew up thinking this was the opposite of love,
then I learned the opposite of love is fear.
Hatred comes from fear.
It is an intense negative response to
that which causes us fear.
It can be a fear of people,
things,
or even ideas.
Fear comes from
false things or beliefs
which appear real.
As much as I hate to admit it,
there are moments I feel hatred.
However, as I was once asked,
what are you doing with it.
my initial response was
nothing.
but then I realized holding on to it
was not helping me grow or evolve.
Hatred is now an opportunity to evolve.
it is an opportunity for me to let go of
that which is keeping me in fear.
When I use this to help me grow,
I leave the hatred behind
and grow in my capacity to love.

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Look Deeper

Look Deeper

I am always grateful to my ancestors,
and the wisdom they left me.
My Bubby and my mother,
both taught me about love.
There was one thing
both taught me to not say.
I hate you.
Those words,
they would say
are not of love.
Hate is not of love.
I could hate the action,
the behavior,
but not the person.
I think about that lesson today
with the political,
social,
civic,
and economic unrest.
I can hear them reminding
me that even those
contributing to the unrest
are of the Ultimate.
In the midst of the unrest,
I radiate love to all,
including those whose actions
I disdain.
However, rather then say I hate them,
I hold on to the wisdom
of my ancestors
and look deeper for the fragment
of the One who
created them as well.

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