It’s About Us

It’s About Us

I need to be mindful of what I say,
a friend once told me.
She had dreamt she prayed for her mom back
and instead got a bob cut again instead.
I have had so many hair cuts in my life,
some of which I have like more than others.
I loved having dreads,
and being able to hear
the shells and bells make sounds
as I moved my head.
Then I began shaving my head
so my friends who had cancer
would not feel alone in the journey,
Zoe was one of them.
Her hair never really grew back
and she wanted me to have hair.
One of us has to she would say.
so one side of my head is long hair
for her
and the other side
is shaved for me.
My hair is about my commitment to her,
the one who has stood by me
through all of life’s challenges
and all of the blessings.
My haircut is not about me,
it is about us.

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My Legacy

My Legacy

You can do nothing about the legacy you inherited,
but you can do something about the legacy you leave behind.
That is part of the legacy
my friend Alan Johnson left behind.
What am I leaving behind?
I would like to believe my legacy
is more about qualities
then things.
I doubt it will be about material wealth,
but more about spiritual wealth.
I would like to think my legacy
will be about the love and kindness
I have shown others.
I would like to think my legacy
will be about the wisdom I share with others
that my ancestors and those who came before me,
shared with me.
I would like to think my legacy
will be the advice and guidance
that I have offered to help others on their journey.
I would like to think my legacy
is in the poems and prose I have offered to the world.
I would like to think it is in my stories,
the ones I enjoyed learning
and those that were difficult, but transformative.
In the years I have left on this earth,
I am developing my spiritual estate,
with an inheritance to those who come after me
or who have walked with me
that my spirit and wisdom
might walk with them
and live in them
as all the teachers in my life
have done so in me.

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Simmering

Simmering

It was one of those cooking show lessons,
about meats that are tough
and need to spend hours simmering.
Over time of simmering in broths or juices
they become tender, juicy, and full of flavor.
It is the process that I enjoy.
Most people I know,
do not simmer,
but perhaps we should,
Simmering requires us to slow down,
to plan,
and to allow time and space
for transformation.
It means we step away from
the fast, rapid and instant prep
and take time to simmer
not just in our food prep
but in our spiritual transformation.
Sometimes we need to simmer
in the wisdom and mystery
the Ultimate puts before us.
Sometimes we need the time to
sit with it and simmer.
There is a time for microwave magic,
and a time for us to sit and simmer.

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From My Divers

From My Divers

Words from others,
readers of my poems,
have used words such as
heartfelt,
beautiful, and inspiring.
Then there have been those,
who have made me dive with them
preachable,
paintable,
Negro spiritual,
and Wicked.
They showed me where their dives took them,
allowing me to hear the sermons
and see the paintings.
Then there were those
who said like Negro spirituals
there were messages
beyond the poems.
The poem was a message,
but there was a message
only those knowing the code
and would hear with their own dive.
Then their was my wife,
who hates poetry,
and at the end of Wicked said
these songs are like your poems.
They don’t rhyme,
they don’t follow rules,
they don’t have one meter,
they just are,
but you come to appreciate
the courage and honesty
when you sing your songs
of authenticity and honesty
and dive into a deeper relationship with you
through them.
What a blessing it is
to hear from those who dive
with and because of you and
invite you to dive with them.

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Hide & Seek

Hide & Seek

Growing up one of my favorite games was
hide and seek.
I had a few places I could hide
and nobody would ever find me.
I had friends though who would make it so easy
to find them.
They would make sounds
when they were ready to be found.
I don’t try to hide anymore,
kind of hard to hide in my wheelchair.
Sometimes though I feel like
I try to play hide and seek with God,
but God is like my friend,
always making sounds
so I can seek them out
and learn what I need to
and then the Ultimate will hide again.
There is something about playing this game
of hide and seek
that reminds me to enjoy the journey
and to have fun in the process
of growing and evolving.
Like this morning
when I realized there are moments I do try to hide
but the Ultimate reminds me
I am always seen and heard
so I just need to play seek
because I am not good at hiding.  

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Rituals

Rituals

It seems like most people I know have them,
especially around the holidays.
I really don’t, well not anymore.
My most important rituals are the ones I do every morning.
They help me hold on to feelings and memories.
They have helped me find meaning in my life.
They keep me functioning.
There are days they lift me up,
and days they see me through.
Sometimes they help stay connected
to myself and to others.
It is not so much what the ritual is.
It is what it does for me
and for you
and for us.
Whether I share them with you or not,
the rituals in my life are sacred to me
and that is all that matters.

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Heart Condition

Heart Condition

My doctor recently said,
your heart sounds good.
I have had stress tests,
ekgs
and so this was not new news.
But how my heart sounds or looks
on some cardiovascular test
is not the same as the condition of my heart.
What is most important for me
is whether my heart is
hard, soft, closed, shut, proud, broken, or tender.
Over the last year my heart has been broken
and at times quite tender, but
it has never been closed or hard or shut.
It has stayed soft and open.
There have been moments
where I have had to open it up
and massage away the hardness
like I massage kale for a salad.
There are always moments that seek to harden us.
However, we can keep our heart soft.
I keep my heart soft and open
and allow it to heal when it needs it.
What is the condition of yours?

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More Than a Letter

More Than a Letter

I get emails all day long and every day,
but rarely do I get a letter.
There is something special
and at times sacred about a letter,
especially when they are handwritten.
It is like you can feel the presence of the person
as you read their words.
I once had three pieces of paper left for me one morning.
One said I,
one said love
and the last said you.
Nothing fancy about three post it notes,
but the power of them
and the meaning behind them,
humble me
and take me back in time.
I have letters the person has scented
and decades later I can still smell them.
I wish I had kept more of them
as I was growing up,
but I have them now
to read,
to inhale, and
to experience
as I remember they are
more then just letters.

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The Unimportant

The Unimportant

When I think about all the things I have to do,
some seem more important than others,
and in all honesty some just seem unimportant.
You know these things you just want to get through
so you can get to the important things
and the things you really want to do.
You want to get through the things which are of no value,
seem unimportant and thus mean nothing.
But this morning something made me stop
and look at the unimportant.
I began to realize that even the unimportant is important.
If nothing else, it helps me appreciate the things I consider
important
because without them the value of the important
would not be as visible, if at all.
The unimportant is not unimportant,
it is just less important at this point in time.
What if I saw the value in the unimportant,
what might I see.
Yesterday I was unimportant to someone,
but to others I am very important.
Just because others I do not see the importance
does not mean others do not and vice versa.
perhaps we can help each other see the gift and blessings in all of life
that which we think of as important and that which we call unimportant.
 

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Every Move I Make

Every thing I do
every thing I think
is a spiritual task.

I sat there this morning
as I was feeling the warmth
of the cast iron bowl in my hand
that this was the warmth and comfort
I feel when I know
I am with the Ultimate.
When I see the sacred in everything,
whether it is taking out the trash
or cleaning
or cooking
or eating
or sitting in a meeting,
then it takes on a new meaning.
It is not just a chore to be done,
it is time with the Ultimate.
It is a reminder that the next moment
is not promised.
I have to live each moment
as if it were my last
and perform each task
as if it were a spiritual one
a way of connecting
with the One.

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Prayer

Insights come
at the most unexpected of times
like a virtual happy hour
and a friend’s comment about yoga.
Then I realize the world
is like my yoga mat,
not that I am doing yoga these days.
Rather that the world
is my yoga mat,
my prayer beads,
my candle,
my whatever that
inspires me to stop and pray

The world
what I see,
taste,
feel,
smell,
hear,
is my inspiration
to stop and pray.

It is the reminder
of the presence of the one
we call on by so many names
which says in the midst
of everything,
I am here with you
I am listening to your prayers
to the words of your mouth
and the meditations of your heart.

It is the reminder
that no matter where I am
or what I have
or don’t have
I can stop and pray
and spend time with the
one who created me,
transforms me
and loves me
just as I am

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Spiritual Bumps

Sometimes we hit a
spiritual bump in our life.
That thing that jars us
and makes us think.
The moment that we come
off of autocruise and
call on our spiritual practices
to do more then get through it,
but to understand the meaning
to the spiritual bump.

This morning I woke up in tears,
grieving losses
which happened years ago.
It was through prayer and processing,
which I came to realize I had not
taken the time to grieve.
The message which triggered this
was not about me
but what was about me
was the grief it triggered.

The grief over my isolation.
The grief over the loss of
who I thought were friends.
The grief over things I thought I had grieved,
only to discover I had not.

Sometimes we need those spiritual bumps
to come to us in our dreams,
in our lives, and
in our visions
to give us deeper meaning
into our lives
and the purpose behind them

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Goodness

Goodness, Thoreau said,
is the only investment that never fails.
What if goodness was a fund?
What if every act of goodness or kindness
was a deposit?
How wealthy am I?
What is my fund looking like?

When I think about goodness,
I am reminded of lyrics from a song
which cause me to ask if I have done any good today.
At the end of the day can I say
I cheered up those who needed some love and light.
Can I say I made someone find the
happiness within themselves again.
Can I say I helped someone
who needed a friendly hand.

These are the things which are
worthwhile investments
Random acts of kindness
Words which uplift
That which makes it on earth
As it is in heaven

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The New Story

When I was a little girl
I worried about being liked.
I cared what people thought,
but not as much as I did
as I grew older.
I went through a phase where
I cared about first impressions,
others evaluations.
what they thought,
what they said, and
what they believed about me.
I thought others thought
more about me then they did.

Now I know others rarely think of me
and if they do,
is not as often I could imagine.
They may have an impression
or an evaluation.
They may tell me what they think,
but that is about them
and what they believe
and what their expectations are.
their story is about them,
not me.
What matters most,
is what I think of me and
that what I think of me
is positive, loving, and affirming.

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