Letting Go and Letting Grow

Last night, during our living the five agreements group we began talking about Bryon Katie’s book “Loving What Is: Four Questions that will change your life.” For me, her “The Work” is similar to what Toltecs call stalking.  As I was sharing one of the stories about relationship from her book, I came to realize that I have to accept that my son is growing up. As much as he will always, in some respects, be my little boy. He, in reality, is now a 32 year old man who is developing his own way in the world and no longer needs to talk to me as often as he once did. I realized I have had to let go and let him grow. He will call when he needs to talk to me and I will call when I need to talk to him.

Nick came into my life when he was 10 and until recently he would call at least weekly. Now, he has entered this new phase in his life and calls about once a month or every other month

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Alone

One of my homework questions was how did you feel when you heard don Miguel Ruiz say, “You are born alone, you grow up alone and you will die alone”? I am not sure how to describe what I was feeling. There is a part of me that was like ok, am I supposed to feel surprised, upset, or scared. The part of that sentence that scared me the most was that I might die alone. Then I was like ok, so what. I am never alone. The Infinite is always with me, so even when there is not another human being with me, I am never alone. I am always with me, so I am never alone.
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I am a Spiritual Warrior

This afternoon, my body is speaking loudly to me and asking me what were you thinking yesterday. Do you know how sore we are today? Heck, it hurts just to lift this one leg up and you did this to us why? Then there is the other part of my body, which seems to be saying thank you, yes it was painful and uncomfortable, but you made it through. So now, you know you can walk through the discomfort of moving up and down the hallway. Now you know that you can train your body to walk up and down the driveway, then to the mailbox, and by January, you will be able to use your walker on the days you have to go to Brockport to teach.
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Who am I talking with?

When I am sitting in a room with others, then I know who I am speaking to and hopefully I know who is listening. However, there are times that I hear myself speaking and there are not words coming out of my mouth. It is at that time, I realize that many of the conversations I have in life are with me. Sometimes those conversations are about things I need to do. Like this morning, I was telling myself what I needed to accomplish today. Other times, however, I find myself critically listening to what I am saying in my brain and deciding if I believe what I am saying.
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