Last night I was watching a video Zoe had found about gratitude and happiness. In the video, people wrote letters to someone they were grateful for in their lives. Then they were asked to call that person and read them the letter if they could. This morning I woke up thinking about my mom. I am so grateful for all she taught me during her time here on earth. One of the things she taught me about was how to be compassionate towards others. Mom, I hope that you can read these words as I put them out into the Universe, that place where we are of one (uni) verse. That place where we are one with each other. I love you. If you were here and I had to read this to you, I would probably go through about three boxes of tissues.
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I woke up in the middle of the night last night feeling unsuccessful. I know that is a lie, so I had to begin the work of figuring out why that thought resurfaces so that I could pull it up by its roots and eliminate it. I came to realize that it has nothing to do with anyone else, it is all about me, and how I have defined success. If one were to look at my resume or CV, one might perceive me as successful. I have won national and international awards for my scholarship; I have a bachelor's degree, two master’s degrees, and a doctorate. I have a number of small businesses that I operate and teach part time at a local university. I have two furry feline sons, a wife of 12 years who loves me unconditionally, and a circle of friends who have journeyed with me through good times and bad.
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I think what is strong and good in my life is what sees me through most things. I think one of my strengths is my patience with me and others. I know that I and others am works in progress. I do not expect myself or others to be transformed over night. Nor do I expect others to be as committed to their evolution as I am. I tend to be positive. I allowed myself to get hurt pretty deeply and went through this time of intensive healing and transformation. Ever since I removed myself from the cave in which I had been living, thank you Aristotle, I have become increasingly used to living in the light.
It is an amazing thing that happens when you take the shackles off your soul and begin loving yourself and cleansing yourself of all the lies that you had internalized.
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