I remember growing up being taught that my name was a legacy. I was told my name was changed to Sharon because my parents wished for me to become progressively happy in my life. My Hebrew name is Sarai Bella, which means beautiful princess. This was the legacy I was given when my family named me. Consciously or unconsciously, this seems to have become a part of my life. Each day I find myself moving to a greater and deeper level of happiness. Perhaps it in this same sense that I am growing into the calling of nobility that was prophesied for me when I was adopted into my family.
I have been thinking a lot about this today because I was recently asked a similar question. What is your theme song? See it is one day for others to prophesize about you with your name, but when I adopt a song as my theme song or am given one by someone else, it has the same effect. As far as I know, nobody has ever given me a theme song, so I decide to select one for myself. The one I decided to make my theme song is “If I were brave,” by Jana Stanfield. I picked this song because it is a reminder that if I believe that I can and that you are with me in this journey, then I can accomplish anything that I feel led to accomplish. This video is filled with the stories of women who embraced their courage and bravery and followed their heart.
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“and
half of learning to play is learning what not to play
and she's learning the spaces she leaves have their own things to say
and she's trying to sing just enough so that the air around her moves
and make music like mercy that gives what it is and has nothing to prove
she crawls out on a limb and begins to build her home
and it's enough just to look around and to know that she's not alone
up up up up up up up points the spire of the steeple
but god's work isn't done by god
it's done by people”
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I have been thinking about something, which was said to me during a tarot reading a few weeks ago. The reader told me I have this external image of being peaceful, calm, and happy, however, there are things from my past, which weigh me down. In essence, there were masks I wore and parts of myself I did not openly share with others. Perhaps those were not the exact words shared with me; it is however how I remember it.
Those words have come and gone from my memory. However, this morning as I was reading from Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements Companion Book. He wrote, “We know we are not what we believe we are supposed to be and so we feel false, frustrated, and dishonest. We try to hide ourselves, and we pretend to be what we are not. The result is that we feel unauthentic and wear social masks to keep others from noticing this.” he challenged the readers to think about what masks we wear around others? Why do we wear them? What would happen if we took them off? What would it be like to express who we really are?
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So often, we do not think about what we want or need in a relationship. Some of us are so hungry for a relationship that we settle for the first person to come along because we are afraid we will never find anyone else to love us. It is that fear that persuades us to stay in relationships that are not what we need and are often times abusive and neglectful. In those relationships, we do not have an authentic relationship with the person we are with, nor do we have an authentic relationship with ourselves. I would like to believe that most people do not want a relationship that is abusive, neglectful, and disrespectful.
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I have this relationship with Don Miguel Ruiz’s book that defies description. I can’t quite describe it as a love hate relationship because I never hate it. It is kind of like going to a psychological and spiritual gym. You go, you do the work, you feel good on so many levels, but there are some parts of the workout, which require you to work a little harder and dig a little deeper then others.
This is how I have felt about his section on social masks. My initial response was – I don’t wear any social masks. That is too simplistic of an answer. Ok, so what social masks do I wear and how do I know when I am wearing them. One of the clues he suggests is when you feel false, frustrated, or dishonest. When are we faking the funk and being what we think others want us to be and not who we really are?
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I never thought I would be excited to have someone tell me I was unprofessional, but yesterday was one of those days. I was talking on the phone to one of my online students who was having technical problems. Once we got through the immediate problem, she shared with me how much she loves this class and said that in part it was because I was unprofessional. So in all honesty, I had to stop for a moment because I was trying to think about what I could have said or done that might have been viewed as unprofessional. For a moment, the parasite of fear began to poke its head out at me, but I caught it in time, rained love on it and myself, and did what I always tell others to do – seek clarification.
Being unprofessional to her meant I was real, authentic, and approachable.
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So I was checking in with my friend Angel today on FB and her status said, “People often forget that I am a Communication Major. The first rule of thumb is if you are going to tell a story get the facts straight otherwise it is considered gossip, slander and it is grounds for a law suit. You become a liability to your employer. Yep you guessed it, this post is a tease. "Is your lying tongue a liability?" Do you use your tongue as a tool for treachery or to teach? Are you a positive source of energy or a parasite that drains life?
That word parasite caught my attention, so I asked her if she had read my blog from last night, which was about parasites. “No, I didn’t, but I will.”
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