When I was in seminary, Dr. Gail Ricciuti, my homiletics professor, told me about a book by J Ruth Gendler called The Book of Qualities. It has since become one of my favorite books, in part because she has helped me to understand human qualities, such as jealousy, in new ways and enabled me to put a very different human face on them. She wrote this about jealousy,

Jealousy stands by the blue flame of the gas stove stirring obsession stew. In his mind he is tearing people limb from limb. He wears a shirt that is almost in style with it odd angular shapes and bright edges. He can be quite charming when he wants to be. He certainly has a flair for drama. After a while though, the roles jealousy takes begin to seem shallow, dishonest, repetitive. The more upset he feels, the more loudly he denies it. For a time I stopped giving parties because he wouldn’t come if I invited certain people. At that point, I couldn’t give a party without inviting him, and I was unwilling to censor my guest list for his sake. He is quite capable of showing up anywhere unexpected, uninvited, unwelcome.