Last week, I talked about how the simple act of breathing can put the emotional brakes on our shenpa. Dr. Andrew Weil, a physician specializing in integrative medicine, said the “The single most effective relaxation technique I know is conscious regulation of breath.” Breathing is not just a sign that we are still alive and functioning. Breathing is a spiritual act, which bridges the mind and the body. If you pay close attention to your breathing, you will notice that there is this gap between your inhale and your exhale. This gap is said to be the movement of spirit within and through us. In many early languages, the words for spirit and breath are the same. Thus, breathing is not just necessary for our health and wellness, but it is the process through which we stay connected to the Creator.
Remembering to breathe allows us to relax, align our responses to anything out of love, and not fear. When we learn how to breathe, just breathe, we can begin to improve our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. When we work at being conscious of our breathing, we can begin to take advantage of the blessings and gifts that come with the simple act of breathing. Just breathe.
Read morePutting the Emotional Brakes On.
Have you have ever had an experience where someone says something mean to you or something negative happens to you and then something in you gets stressed and emotionally you get worked up? The Tibetans call this feeling shenpa. While it is literally translated as the word “attachment,” that does not capture essence of this feeling of the effect that it has on us.
Shenpa is this area deep inside us that gets triggered and irritated by the words and actions of others. When someone says or does something that touches your shenpa, it hooks you, draws you in, and starts this emotional spiral. Before we know it, we can find ourselves blaming ourselves, blaming them, getting angry with them or putting ourselves down.
Read moreIt’s not a luxury.
When I was doing my doctoral studies, I was blessed with the opportunity to read an essay by Audre Lorde, called Poetry is not luxury. It was one of those pieces that lives with me to this day. It helped me to understand why I love writing so much. It is not even that I love it, it is essential to my well being. Through my writing, I am able to give voice to feelings and ideas that I cannot seem to express any other way. Perhaps that is why the last nine weeks have been so special for me. I have given myself time every day to journal to my soul and write to the voice of wisdom buried deep within me.
One of the things I came to realize was that depending on my mood, different things inspired me and helped me tap into my creative energy.
Read moreDo I love me?
When I was in seminary, I remember taking a class called Intro to Preaching with Dr. Gail Ricciuti. Gail is one of my favorite professors and now a dear friend. In the early weeks of this class, she laid out this multi step rigorous plan for writing a well-constructed sermon. I remember the first time I wrote a sermon using her steps, I was able to get through the first few steps, and then I had to lie down and take a nap. What I realized is that each time I woke up I had my sermon in my head. To this day, whether I am writing a sermon, which I rarely do any more, or writing a reflection, which I now do quite often, I follow the same steps that I followed back then; when in doubt take a nap. Unsure of what I was to write about this week, feeling tired, stiff, and whiny (sure sign I am tired or sick),
Read moreJames Taylor, The Beatles, and Beethoven
Normally, sometime on Monday, I sit down and write my Inspiritual Reflection for the week. That was the plan for this week as well. however, a few things had happened that were weighing heavy in my spirit and I was praying my way through, I found myself hearing the words of James Taylor singing :
”When your down and troubled And you need a helping hand And nothing, whoa nothing is going right. Close your eyes and think of me And soon I will be there To brighten up even your darkest nights. You just call out my name, And you know where ever I am I'll come running, oh yeah baby To see you again. Winter, spring, summer, or fall, All you have to do is call And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got a friend.”
Read moreCommercials, Wolves, and The Four Agreements.
A week or so ago, I got an email from someone who asked me if I really practiced what I teach. Yes! So I thought I would share one of those moments with you. If you have been around me for any length of time, you know there are a few things I ask or say. One phrase is make it a commercial, not a documentary. Another is which wolf are you feeding? Does this fit with the four agreements?
For those of you who are wondering what I am talking about, here is my cheat sheet. The Four Agreements is a book by Don Miguel Ruiz and the agreements in a nutshell are this:
1. be impeccable with your words – do not say anything negative about yourself or others
2. Don't take anything personally. – It’s only about you if you make it about you.
3. Don't make assumptions. – seek clarification and make sure you both understand each other.
4. Always do your best. YOUR best, not what I think is your best, but your best at any moment, knowing your best can change from moment to moment.
Read moreI do more then get by with a little help for my friends.
Recently someone asked me if I had a favorite scripture in the Old or New Testament. I remember feeling this smile creep on my face because I do. It is from Romans 12:2 – “do not conform to the ways of this world, but be transformed in it through the renewing of your mind.” It is so easy to conform to the ways of this world. It seems like everything we are taught from the moment we are born is about helping us to conform to the ways of this world. However, all the ancient wisdom texts I have read, including the New Testament have told me to be counter cultural. The message that has come to me repeatedly is transform; do not conform.
This is so much easier said then done.
Read moreLeaping Into Love
For the last few weeks, I have been reading Pema Chodron’s book Taking the Leap. It is about releasing old habits and fears. There is a section in her book when she talks about unconditional friendliness with ourselves. it is about changing the way we think about things. rather then seeing things as a burden, we need to see them as a gift. Rather then punishing ourselves for something that has happened in our lives, we can begin to focus on the lessons learned. Are we looking at the negative aspect of a situation or the positive. it is amazing how we keep ourselves living in a state of suffering and drama rather then choosing a mindset that allows us to live in a state of evolution and grace.
Her reflection on developing a deeper relationship with one’s self reminded me of an epiphany I had once while reading Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements.
Read moreLove Lessons from My Father
For the last three weeks, I have been taking myself through a nine-week spiritual journaling intensive to help myself develop a deeper connection with the Creator and myself. In doing so, I came to realize that much of what I was journaling about had to do with lessons I learned from my parents about patience, love, commitment, grace, wisdom and so many other positive qualities. I miss them both dearly. My mother passed away my first semester in seminary and my father passed away my last semester in seminary. I miss them both dearly. One of the wisdoms I inherited from them was some valuable lessons about love.
A few years before I entered seminary my mother’s micro-infarct dementia began to take increased control over her life. By the time, I began seminary, I knew she had very little time left with us. One of the things I remember most was a conversation I had with my father about love. The last few years of my mother’s life were not easy. She had lost the ability to control her bowels and bladder. She no longer knew who most of us were. She didn’t remember who my father was. There were days my father struggled to get her to eat or drink
Read moreStaying Conscious
The other day, someone said “this spiritual evolution stuff is hard work. Sometimes I just want to go back to the way I was, it was so much easier.” I had to giggle because I totally agreed with her. It is so easy to just go through life and not think about what we say or do or why. I remember the days when I did not worry about what I did or said and didn’t think about what I really meant by that or the message I was giving off. Or the days when I was not thinking about what emotion was ruling my response? Or whether I was responding or reacting? But then I stop and think about how unhappy I was, how messed up my life appeared to be, how I felt as if I were on an emotional roller coaster. There were times I felt as if I was trapped on one of those revolving doors. No matter how much I said things were going to be different, I found myself doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results. Oh wait, isn’t that what Einstein called insanityJ.
Evolving spiritually means that we cannot zone out through life. We cannot hit the snooze alarm on our lives. We have to remain awake and conscious. When we are conscious, we can listen to our intuition.
Read moreRe-Design
A few weeks ago, I reflected on Ghandi’s message to “be the change you want to see in the world” and HGTV’s slogan, “change the world, start at home.” I was reminded of these messages again when posting the Inspiritual Thought for the Day “my life is my message” by Ghandi. It got me thinking, if my life is my message, what does it look like. When someone walks into my emotional and spiritual house what do they see. Are you greeted with a sofa of fear, a loveseat of anger, and a couple of chairs of hatred or do you settle into a sofa of love, a loveseat of joy, and a couple of chairs of peace?
To borrow the name of an old show from HGTV, sometimes we need a re-design.
Read moreCourage’s friend: Compassion
If courage were a person, how would you describe them? Ruth Gendler described courage as having “roots. She sleeps on a futon on the floor and lives close to the ground. Courage looks you straight in the eye. She is not impressed with powertrippers and she knows first aid. Courage is not afraid to weep and she is not afraid to pray, even when she is not sure who she is praying to. When Courage walks it is clear that she has made the journey from loneliness to solitude. The people who told me she is stern were not lying, they just forgot to mention that she is kind.
Courage is what was hiding inside the king/queen of the forest and what lives inside each of us.
Read moreIf I were King/Queen of the Forest.
Have you ever had one of those times in your life when you get this song stuck in your head and you cannot seem to shake it? Ok, so it is not even a whole song. It is just one line from The Wizard of Oz. The Cowardly Lion sings the line when he is thinking about how different his life would be if he had courage. He starts off by singing “If I were king of the forest.” How often do we think to ourselves, if I were king of queen of the forest, I would do X in my life. I know I have played the what if version in a number of different ways in my life. If I were X, then I would do Y. If I were president, then I would do X.
My guess is that in many of us there is some aspect of the Cowardly Lion’s personality that lives and has taken up varying degrees of residence in our minds, spirits, and souls.
Read moreIt’s pay attention time!
When I was pastoring, I always found it difficult to get people to pay attention to the announcements. I think most pastors would tend to agree with me. One day, when I was trying to read the announcements, one of the young visitors to our church stood up and told the adults it was pay attention time. Two things about that morning have stayed with me. One was the effect of those words on the congregation that morning; people actually focused their attention on the announcements that day. The other was the power of that young woman who reminded us all that we have to pay attention to everything, including the announcements.
The last several months, I have remembered how important it to pay attention to everything in my life. By paying attention to my feelings, especially my reactions, I can see where I have grown and where I still need to evolve spiritually.
Read moreIt's all about the journey!
Last week, I talked about self-love as the greatest love of all. After I wrote it, someone emailed me and said self-love is harder then I thought or made it sound. This person said they tried waking up in the morning committed to loving themselves that day, but before they got too far away from the bed, if that far, the self-judgment began to kick in. It is important to remember that self-love is something that grows stronger over time. I love myself for who I am right now. When I look back over the last year or even six months, I can see how my self-love is stronger today then it was six months ago, or a year ago. I am also mindful that a year from now my self-love will be stronger then it is at this very point in time. Self-love is something we must practice every day until we master it in the same ways we have mastered self-rejection and self-judgment.
So where do we start?
Read moreThe Greatest Love of All
I was sitting at the 2011 Miss Gay Rochester Pageant listening to Miss Kelly Valasquez Lord perform her rendition of Whitney Houston’s song The Greatest Love of All. Given all that has been happening in our country with youth on youth violence and youth suicide, I was struck by the timeliness of the message of this song. However, it was the chorus, which resonated with my spirit.
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all
Learning to love ourselves is indeed the greatest gift of all.
Read moreComing out of the cave
The other day, I found myself led to an ancient writing by Plato known as the Allegory Of The Cave. I have to say that I can’t remember the last time I read anything by Plato. To be completely honest, I am not sure I have ever read anything by Plato. Had it not been for a reference to it in a book I am currently reading, Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukav, I probably would never have been inspired to read it.
Plato wrote it as a way of explaining to others what philosophers do. However, for me, it spoke to me about the process of liberation and enlightenment.
Read moreWhat would you do for a Klondike bar?
Several weeks ago, while visiting with friends, we were surprised with a childhood favorite for desert – Klondike bars. All of us chuckled, giggled, and began singing the jingle “what would you do for a Klondike bar?” Since then, our taste buds restimulated, we have purchased them perhaps too many times for our own home and been singing the jingle to each other and to the friends we have shared them with.
While the ice cream was wonderful, the jingle is what has had me thinking the last few weeks. What would you do for a Klondike bar?
Read morePractice makes perfect!
I remember growing up always hearing that practice makes perfect. While I hated hearing it at the time, I do know it is true. The thing about practicing is that it does not matter what you are practicing, over time you will master it. It does not matter if it is positive or negative. It does not matter if it is a healthy or unhealthy behavior. It does not matter whether it will be beneficial or not, all that matters is that practices makes perfect.
Think about this for a moment, how much time have you spent in your life practicing anger, jealousy, lack, self doubt, suffering, worry, frustration, impatience, or denial? My guess is that if you have been practicing them long enough you have probably mastered them. A friend of mine has practiced procrastination so long she has mastered it. Practice does make perfect.
Read moreBreathe
A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog called No More Poison! Here I wrote about the need for us to refuse to internalize any message from others that is not of love or to present a message to others that is not of love. When we do this, we are eating or serving emotional, mental, and spiritual poison to others.
I have been thinking a lot about the effect of the global poison of fear, which presents itself in so many different ways in our world. One of the ways this poison presents itself amongst our youth is through bullying and hatred. The news has been filled lately with stories of at least ten young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered youth who had ingested so much poison from their peers and their society that they were no longer able to see hope or joy in life.
Read more