In what is thought to be one of the busiest seasons of the year, I want to challenge each of us think about this question. If your life was a piece of paper, how big would your margins be? Would you have one-inch margins all around your paper? Inch and a half? Two inches? Or is your life so overflowing with stuff that you HAVE to do that you are not even sure you have any margins. If you do, then maybe they are like 1/100 of an inch.
As I have learned the hard way in my own life, some of us have gotten so used to living life without margins, we do not even know what they are.
Read morePOJSU and Turnips
Right about now, you might be scratching your head wondering if POJSU is a new product from Kikkoman and what does that have to do with turnips. So, let me answer that question. No, it is not. I was rereading a few pieces others had written that I have found inspirational and one of them reminded me of a sermon I had written a few years ago called No more buts. At the end of the sermon, I wrote
“I want to leave you with some things to put in your spiritual garden to replace the buts which I am encouraging you to remove. They are peas, squash, lettuce, and turnips.
Read moreA & E
When I was in seminary, one of the things Dr Ricutti taught us in Intro to Preaching was to have a title that would catch people’s interest. My guess is when you saw the title you thought about the A & E television station (Arts and Entertainment). I wish I could say this is what I have been thinking about this week. In some respects, I have. However, the A and E I have been spending a good part of my time thinking about are two things we tend to do easily in our lives: assumptions and expectations. It is amazing how much drama, trauma, and suffering we can eliminate from our lives when we practice living an A & E free life. Today, I just want to focus on the E, and maybe next time I will focus on the A.
I remember the first time I read the idea of living and loving with no expectations in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Mastery of Love
Read moreAn Attitude of Gratitude
We all go through times in our journey which if given the choice, we might choose to avoid. It is at times like this when I tend to hear my Bubby’s voice reminding me that when you can see the good in a bad situation, then you know you are going to be ok. I have done this with Zoë’s cancer diagnosis, during the times my son has struggled (like last night), during my struggle with Liftline, etc. As I have made a list of the blessings in each situation, the way I see them, what I choose to believe about them shifts from an Eeyore attitude to an attitude of gratitude. The more I focus on what I have to be grateful for, the more I realize how much I have to be grateful for. It is as if gratefulness begets gratefulness begets gratefulness.
Read moreHave we got it twisted?
Henri Nouwen, in his book Living a Sacred Life in a Secular World, talks about how we have somehow managed to get our hearing and listening skills twisted. When someone says something negative, disparaging, or disaffirming to us we accept it as if it is the “gospel.” We rarely question the intent or the truthfulness of what they said to us. On the other hand, when someone pays us a compliment, our critical thinking skills seem to kick in, and we wonder what that person wants, why did they say that, why are they lying to me and cross-examination their affirmation as if it were a hostile witness being cross examined. What if we reversed this pattern in our life? What would happen if we graciously accepted and internalized that which was served to us with love and suspiciously eyed that which was not before choosing to throw it in the trashcan.
Sometimes it seems as if we do this with other aspects of our life as well. So often, I hear people focusing on lack, rather then abundance.
Read moreWhile you are in the meantime.
Yesterday I received an email that asked me what are you supposed to do while you are in the meantime. So here are a few suggestions of what you can do while you are in the meantime.
While you are in the meantime, help somebody. A poet once wrote, “I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother, and I found all three.” Sometimes when we are feeling empty, we benefit immeasurably by serving people in need. As their strength is renewed, our cups overflow. Stop waiting for an invitation to get involved. Go help somebody. As John F Kennedy once said, don’t ask what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.
Read moreIn the Meantime
Have you ever been in a relationship where you were not quite sure whether you wanted to leave or how you wanted to leave? Have you ever had a conflict with someone and not been quite sure what to say or how to mend those fences? Have you ever had a vision of something you want to do, but not known when or how to do it? If you have, then you were in the meantime.
In the meantime is what happens or what you do while something else is happening or until something else happens. It is that season in our lives where we might feel like we are living our lives in limbo.
Read moreComing off autopilot
Driving these days is so different than it was when I was first learning to drive. I am not talking about the people on the road, or the amount of traffic, or any of those things. I am talking about the consciousness with which we drive. I know it has been a few years since I have been physically able to drive. However, I can remember a number of times I managed to drive from point A to point B and was not sure how I got there. It was as if I was driving on autopilot. One of the features several of my friends have on their cars is cruise control. They can just set the speed at which they want to travel and the car will automatically speed up or slow down accordingly.
Read moreThe F word
My guess is when you hear somebody mention the F word; you assume they are using a word, which rhymes with duck, tuck, truck, and a whole other list of words, which end with _uck. So if you think this is going to be about that F word, I hate to disappoint you. It isn’t. Well, not directly. Although there have been moments in my life when I have experienced something which has made me want to use that particular F word. What helped me move away from that F word was another F word – forgiveness.
Some recent conversations with friends, clients, acquaintances, and even strangers at the grocery store have brought me to a place where I realize many of us choose not to forgive, have different motives for forgiving, or have not thought about how we benefit when we forgive.
Read moreAll you need is love
Funny how sometimes it is one of those old songs that bring you to a different space. Who knows why, but I was sitting here thinking about what to write about and all of a sudden I found myself humming an old Beatles song, All you need is love.” When you stop for a moment and think about it, isn’t that what we all seek in life, to be loved and understood. The Beatles sang that to us decades ago. This should not be such a difficult thing. After all, God is love and we were created in the image of love, by love, so we are love. So if we are love and others are love, then you would think that it would be so easy for us to love one another unconditionally.
Sometimes, though we get the L words confused. We confuse love, which is what we need, with like and lust.
Read moreStop faking the funk
Don Miguel Ruiz recently posted on his website “Love and accept yourself just the way you are. You are what you are; you don't need to pretend to be something else. When you pretend to be what you are not, you are going to fail.” Some of us have been faking the funk for so long; we no longer realize we are still in character. It is as though in many respects the world has tamed us, domesticated us, and taught us how to conform to the ways of the world. We do so many things without even thinking about them, just because that is how we have been taught to do them. We work at becoming a part of the whole because we all want to be accepted. We learn how to conform to the ways of our family, our community, our city, our country and our world. Over time, we learn how to conform to the rules of society, the dominant beliefs in our country and the laws. We learn how to celebrate holidays, how to behave in school, how to behave at social events. We learn how to conform to the ways of the world.
Read moreThe Little Engine, Dorothy, and Buried Treasure
My guess is that most of you remember the story of the Little Engine That Could. In case you do not, or just need to have one of those inner 5-year-old moments, it goes like this. Chug, Chug, Chug, Puff, Puff, Puff, Ding-Dong, Ding-Dong. The little train rumbled over the tracks. She was a happy little train, for she had a jolly load to carry. Her cars were filled full of good things for boys and girls. The little train was carrying all these wonderful things to the good little boys and girls on the other side of the mountain. She puffed along merrily. Then all of a sudden, she stopped with a jerk. She simply could not go another inch. She tried and she tried, but her wheels would not turn.
What were all those good little boys and girls on the other side of the mountain going to do?
Read morePlaying hide and seek
Recently, I read this quote from a book by Ray Dodd called The Power of Belief. In it he wrote, “Belief colors every experience and determines how we react in any situation, yet we are often unaware of the hidden beliefs that guide us.” Being mindful of these hidden beliefs is like playing hide and seek. The beliefs, which guide our life, have already hidden themselves. It is our job to seek them out, expose them, and then decide what purpose they play in our lives if any.
So often, we are not mindful of these hidden beliefs.
Read moreDo your best!
These words are the last of the four agreements Don Miguel Ruiz discusses in this book The Four Agreements. Sounds simple right; just do your best! This is what I tell my students all the time. I remind those I am journeying with of this all the time. This past week I had to remind myself that I was doing my best. One of the things about doing your best is recognizing that your best varies from moment to moment. My best when I was not journeying with Zoë through her diagnosis and treatment for breast cancer has been different then before this was a part of our journey together. My best when I was not trying to advocate for the restoration of my para transit services is quite different then now that I am. Last week and this past weekend as we were preparing for Zoë’s surgery and the unknowns about what she would and would not be able to do afterwards consumed quite a bit of my time and energy.
Read moreYou Are Wiser Then You Think
So often, I hear people putting themselves down for their level of education, their intelligence, or their wisdom. The truth is that each of is much wiser then we give ourselves credit for. One of the questions I ask my students every semester is “how do you know what you know?” They struggle with that question all semester, usually thinking about this question in terms of how do they know what they know in terms of their personality, their likes, dislikes, values, etc. How do they know what they know about world, national, and local news? How do they know what they know about their families? Given the biases in the reporting of the news, textbooks, the media, and just about any other source of information in the world, how do we know what we know?
Read moreReleasing Perfection
The last several years have been a time of intense personal growth and spiritual transformation. When I first started on this journey, I had this vision of being loving, patient, kind, compassionate, balanced, wise, etc. I felt as if I was supposed to embody the qualities of spiritual leaders who had come before me like Mother Theresa, Jesus, Buddha, or some other vision of divine perfection. I had this notion I was supposed to be a model of walking divinity; that everything I said and did was supposed to be a living monument of love, patience, justice, humility, and divinity. I had this notion I was supposed to be perfect all the time and was not allowed to have any human moments or feelings.
Read moreThe Rabbi's Gift
When I was a little girl, there was nothing I enjoyed more then when my parents would tell me a story. I guess I inherited that gift because today I telling stories and using them to teach important lessons. Lately I have been thinking about one of my favorite stories. It’s a simple, but powerful story called “The Rabbi’s Gift.”
There was a famous monastery, which had fallen on very hard times. Formerly its many buildings were filled with young monks and its big church resounded with the singing of the chant, but now it was deserted. People no longer came there to be nourished by prayer. A handful of old monks shuffled through the cloisters and praised their God with heavy hearts.
Read moreAttitude is everything
Quite some time ago, I gained an understanding about the importance of gratitude. It is amazing what happens to our view of the world when we acquire an attitude of gratitude and begin to look at the world through its eyes. It seems as if the more one finds to be grateful for, the more you see things for which to give thanks. It is this ever-growing experience. Being mindful of one thing for which to give thanks seems to give birth to some other thing for which to give thanks, which gives birth to something else and so on and so on.
Read moreWait!
It is no secret, to those of you who read my reflections on a regular basis, that I am a Chopped fan. I am not sure I have missed an episode since it first aired. I have learned a lot about cooking from watching the show in terms of techniques and flavor profiles and combinations. However, one of the recent episodes moved me to tears and touched me spiritually in a way that I was not expecting. It all happened with a single word. WAIT!
This episode, like a few of the others, was a redemption battle between four chefs who had come in second in their initial competitions. I remember each of them well. However, from the beginning, I had my two favorites Yohanna and Lance. I had remembered them from their initial appearances because of their humility, their grace, and their creativity.
Read moreHorton and the Who
As adults, sometimes what inspires us are things that are deep and reflective. Other times, it is something that brings us back to our childhood, something simple like a kid’s book. Recently, at our Pizza & Spirituality Chat Night, I read a Dr. Seuss book, Horton Hears A Who, to those who gathered to eat my first attempt at homemade pizza. If you have not read this book, do so or some of what is in my heart this morning may not make complete sense. There are a couple of things I love about this story. One is that Horton has this amazing capacity to love all of humanity. Horton believes “a person’s a person, no matter how small.” Another thing I have come to love about Horton is that he is an elephant of great faith. Horton is committed to protecting the people of who-ville, even though he cannot see them. However, protecting them is not as easy as it seems.
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