The choices for reflection today were:
- Write down the times you had a premonition that something would happen and it did. Or write down the times when you thought something would be good or dangerous and it turned out to be true. How did you know? What are your primary intuitive senses? How do they signal you?
- What keeps you from trusting your body’s reactions? Listmake those barriers. How can you trust your body more?
- Scan a few magazines and see what the images are intuitively saying to you. Write down the messages you get from the pictures you are drawn to as you think of healing the past. Listen to what the wise speaking person says.
Premonitions – lol – that is too funny. Hmm. Which ones do I write about? The time I dreamed my brother met his current wife, or when I knew she was pregnant. Or do I write about the time when I heard my former partner writing in her journal while she was a few hundred miles away. Or do I write about how I knew when my best friend’s husband and mother passed away. Or I could write about all the times, when I heard something inside me yelling at me “GET OUT” and I stupidly stayed. Or I could write about the times when I wanted to leave my current relationship, but I kept hearing this voice telling me to sit down and know this was who I was supposed to be with. or the times when I would be looking at the list of who is online and something would tell me I should drop them a quick IM and let them know something and they would be like thanks, I so needed to hear that right now. or the times that I realized that every time I went to this place I could leave the home and be well and be sick by the time I got there I was sick and then by the time I was home again, I was well again. Going there was literally making me sick.
Becoming physically ill has only happened to me twice. Both times, sadly to say, in “worship” spaces. I am no longer affiliated with both. One was making me sick and the other was causing my blood pressure to soarL. Not a great thing. My other warning sign should have been when I would look at them and literally see their heads separating from their bodies. They were talking heads and not the musical group.
Most of the time, I have these dreams that are so real that I am not sure if I am dreaming or not and I normally have them repeatedly. Sometimes they are evolving, like with the dreams that led to me starting The Zenful Kitchen or even Inspiritual.
Sometimes I just know things. I can’t explain how I know what I know, but I just do. Like I remember this one time, I had an argument with my former partner over whether or not her pastor was in town. She told me he was out of state and I kept telling her that he was in town. She tried to explain to me that she had gotten an email from him that he was going to be out of state. When we stopped by the church for her to drop something off, he was standing in the parking lot.
Sometimes when somebody close to me has passed away, I can feel this wave of cold going through my body. I just know. It is as if something within me feels that person dying. I remember when my best friend’s husband died. It was my son’s birthday. I was working on my dissertation and I felt this wave of cold pass through me. I immediately stopped and called my best friend and she said, “I knew you would know. He just took his last breath.” Or the night my dad passed away. I was afraid to fall asleep. I had this fear that if I fell asleep something bad would happen. I awoke to a call from my brother telling me our father had just passed away.
Sometimes I feel the presence of my mom or grandmother. I can smell kosher soap and the scent of Beautiful, one of my mom’s favorite colognes.
I feel different things in different places. My clearest warning sign is in my bowels. If I am not supposed to go somewhere, I will develop diarrhea. And then the minute I tell whoever I cannot go, it disappears. It just lasts long enough for me to listen.
There are times that I feel my heart float and I know I am the safest and at peace. I know when I am scared because my throat will tighten up. However, if it is a get out of here fear, I will hear this voice saying “Danger Will Robinson Danger” and I will leave. Otherwise, I hear this voice telling me to breathe and relax and then my throat loosens up and I can speak my truth.
I guess in thinking about it there is not a sense that speaks to me and guides me, but all of them.