All this month, I have been thinking about forgiveness. Each week, I have learned something new about myself, something I need to let go of within myself and forgive myself for thinking, feeling, or internalizing. Planning Zoe’s 60th surprise birthday party has brought up a few things I needed to forgive. This week, I have had to learn to release expectations about people and events. I had to learn to let this weekend celebration of Zoe’s life be what it was supposed to be. I had to release my expectations that people would communicate with me when there was a change in plans, as I would have with them. I had to release my desire to have the whole family together at one time. As with relationships, once I learned to release expectations around how things were going to be, it was just fine. However, for that hour or so that I was working on releasing my dreams and fantasies, I have had to forgive myself for self-imposed suffering.
Read moreThe last couple of weeks have been frustrating in some respects. Liftline has told me they were following RGRTA, RGRTA says there eliminating the route was due to a decrease in ridership. The town told me it is a county issue, the county ignores me, the state tells me it is a federal issue and that i need to request the ADA be expanded so that my services can be restored. I feel as if everyone who has the power to make a change is telling me not my responsibility. So the other day I had to sit down and ask myself am I doing my best. Right now, I think I am. I have started a petition locally. Am working on a letter to my Congressional representative, a letter to my local newspaper and investigating who are the national disability rights groups. This is no longer about me or my town, this is now about ensuring that what happened to me will never happen to anybody else.
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