Reading Jo Garceau's book Knowing Woman has made me think a lot about my past and growing up. It has made me realize that much of my life has been spent sorting through what I know based on my relationship with the Infinite from what others have wanted me to believe. In the process of doing so, I came to realize I was constantly coming to new understandings of my feelings, my understandings, my behaviors, and myself. I came to realize that over time I had allowed others to project images on to me and had internalized them. I had come to believe things about myself that were not true. The more time I dwelt on this I came to realize that this was a time in which I internalized a lot of beliefs about what I could and could not do, what I could and could not be, and what I could and could not believe. So for the next few months,
Read moreWeek 5, Day 1 – Beyond Image
There are days that I feel like I am constantly repeating this mantra – don’t take it personally gurl, that is about them, not about you. I found myself chuckling while I was reading the preface to this weeks section when she talked about this woman who “wore her heart on her sleeve.” All of a sudden, I heard a teacher I had briefly this past summer saying the same thing about me. “you greet the world with your heart” she said, “and that is not healthy.” I found myself feeling so shamed for a moment because it felt as if she was saying to me “you are not healthy.” Yet at the same time, I think it is that I am who I am at all times, that others tell me makes them feel as if they can trust me. Are there those who consider me weak – probably? I have ovaries and will stand up and speak out when I need to, but I also think that people should be supported in solving their own problems and challenges. I see it as disrespectful when I try to “fix things” for others as if I am saying “let me do this for you because I know you can’t” and that is not what I want to say.
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