How are you?
I’m fine.
This seems to be one of the most common conversations we have with people and the sad truth is there is generally no honesty in this conversation Most of the times we do not genuinely want to know how others are or what they are feeling and most of us are not “fine” all the time. What does fine feel like? Are we lying to ourselves and others when we deny what we are feeling? Is this yet another mask we wear to prevent others from getting to know us or to become vulnerable in a relationship? Are we afraid to be honest with others or ourselves about what we are really feeling? We cannot begin to heal within ourselves or in our relationships with others until the wounding stops. So if denying our feelings is wounding, then we are preventing ourselves from healing.
We have been socialized to ignore our feelings. Our feelings are like emotional sensors that tell us what is going on in our minds, bodies, and spirits. Our feelings are not who we are, however, they are what we are experiencing at the moment. For example, this morning I was feeling sadness. I am not sadness; however, it is what I was feeling for a moment. Once I acknowledged it, then it dissipated. It is important for us to honor our feelings, acknowledge them, and use them as a tool to assist us in our healing. If I were to tell you I am fine, I would be lying to both of us. When we acknowledge our feelings we give ourselves permission to heal and move forward. Sometimes things happen in life, which bring certain feelings to the surface. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. So honor them, acknowledge them, and give yourself the gift of healing. When we fail to acknowledge our feelings we are pushing them down. It becomes like a splinter that is not removed from us. Over time, it becomes increasingly infected and harder to remove. Until it is, the infection will continue to grow and spread. So when you sense a splinter trying to emerge, allow them to come out, so that you can continue the healing process.
It is important that we stay in touch with our feelings in order to recognize and trust them. Feelings are like any relationship. The more you spend time getting to know them and where they manifest themselves in your body and mind, the more you will become in tune with what you are feeling. When the channels through which our feelings and Spirit speak to us are not clear, sometimes we are not sure of what we are feeling or misinterpret them because we are not in touch with them.
So this week, commit to honoring and feeling your feelings. Give yourself permission to feel, grow, and heal. Be grateful for the gift of healing that comes with acknowledgment of our feelings.