Week 9, Day 1 – The Past

The choices for today were:

1.                  List the messages of the past and flip them over. For example, “I am lazy” becomes “I am thoughtful.”

2.                  List the messages of the past and use them. You might remember being called “too active” and now you can say with good self-esteem, “I have good energy. I am active. I am athletic.”

3.                  Write about your changing point of view. You might write about it was to be an aesthetic child and how that was put down. Now you can write all the good being an aesthete gives you and others. How it has affected your home, friendships, work in good ways.

4.                  Choose your right name. How might that reflect you? Throw out clothes and write about it. What does this have to do with your past? Are you throwing any memories out? Your future?

The minute I saw the exercises for today, my brain went to this poem I wrote a few years ago called, I am enough.  I thought this was a great place to start with the negative messages of the past and flip them over.  so I decided to insert lines in italics that were the flip or the reinforcer when they were already positive.

I am enough
Sharon Jacobson

I am enough
I am enough

to all those people
And to all those people, and mostly to myself

who have taken the time out of their lives
I am taking the time today

to tell me
To tell myself

where my deficiencies in life are,
Where my strengths in life are

I just want to say
I want to thank myself

thanks for your condemnations,
For all the affirmations

but
Because I am worthy and

I am enough
I am enough

to my brothers who have said that I am not Jacobson enough,
I am the beautiful loving spirit that our parents helped me to become

to my teachers who told me I was not smart enough
I am intelligent

to the pastors who have told me that I was not straight enough or lesbian enough
I am the perfect expression of love

to my ex-partners who have collectively told me I was not sexy enough, assertive enough, playful enough or forgiving enough
I am sexy, assertive, playful and forgiving

to the white people who tell me I am not white enough
I am a proud Halfrican woman

and the black people who tell me I am not black enough
I am a proud Halfrican woman

I want you to know, that no matter what you say, I know that I am enough
I was created by love in the image of love and am loveand that is enough

to those of you who told me that I was too much of something
I am the perfect state of imperfection

to my father who told me I was too emotional
I am love in all that I say and do

to those of you who have told me I am too serious
I am a serious in my contemplation and my playfulness

to my dean who told me I am too “out”
I am who I was created to be

to those of you complain that I am too shy
I am a loving, quiet reflective spiit

to my colleagues who complain that I am too radical in my teaching
I am a creative, reflective, and inspirational teacher

to those of you have complained because I am too whatever
I am perfect, as are you

I want you to know, that no matter what you say, I know that I am enough
I am enough

I am enough,
I am enough,

because God made me the way she wanted me to be
because the Creator made me the way in the image of love

she gave me enough words to make people feel loved
I have been given the call to share that love

she gave me enough emotion to feel compassion for others
I have been given the call to express compassion

she gave me enough of every spiritual gift that I need to do hir will
I have been blessed with spiritual gifts beyond measure

She has given me enough of everything I need,
I have been given everything I need

to be enough
I am enough.

so why are you so worried about what is wrong with me?
may we each focus on supporting each other in our journies

have you looked at your own life?
I will support you in  your journey

pick up a mirror and
and you support me in mine

look at your own life with the same critical edge that you look at mine?
May we both have the courage to be honest with ourselves

I could tear each of you apart,
As we move forward in our own evolution and transformation

the way you have torn me
that we might transform this world through love

but I know that each of you is
because I know that each of us is

enough and so am I.
enough and so am I