Nona’s Kitchen

Nona’s Kitchen

Growing up primarily Jewish
we called my grandmother Bubby
When I moved down south,
my black grandmothers and I
were Memaw.
My Italian friends would bring me home
to meet their Nona.
I remember the first time I referred to my friends Nona
as her grandmother.
She stared at me and said no this is my Nona.
Nona is more then a name,
or a role,
it's a position of honor.
It's about how she gave birth to this family
and has been pivotal in the unfolding of its life.
There is something about the Nonas I have met.
They are loving,
giving,
supportive,
and firm all at the same time.
They are the only ones who when I was a size 16
told me I was too skinny
and needed some meat on my bones – mangia.
Every Sunday is a family gathering
and the women all gather in the kitchen.
This is where all the magic happens
Nona and the women are always cooking
and Nona always wants you to eat.
What we made varied from week to week
but there was also an extra bowl
of Sunday gravy.
Sauce was made during the week,
gravy was reserved for Sunday
and taught me the importance
and transformative power of a good gravy.
You don’t just throw a gravy together,
you take the tough cuts and they cook all day
and then they fall apart
and they melt in your mouth.
Gravy, she would tell me,
is like life.
It takes the toughest part of you
and makes you tender.  

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The Zenful Kitchen

The Zenful Kitchen

Recently I was asked why I call my blog and space the Zenful Kitchen. That is an easy question to answer. Zenful is probably one of those terms that most people recognize as relaxing and calming. It is that very definition that inspired me to name my kitchen that way.

One reason for doing so is the recognition that the emotions I am feeling when I cook have an affect on my food and how it comes out. When I am relaxed and calm, my food comes out amazing, regardless of what I cook. When I am stressed and distracted, something always goes wrong. A friend of mine once shared the story about his signature dish, which people normally request him make if they are coming over. One night he was frazzled and really not ready for company and his signature dish came out horribly. When asked what he had done different, he said he forgot to take time to meditate and relax. I have had my own share of incidents when I have not taken the time to calm down and relax.

The worst has been when I have tried to calm down and relax while I am cooking. This is  not the best time to meditate or relax.  The few times I have done so, my perfectly golden brown grilled cheese sandwiches have been a few shades too dark. I know there have been other dishes ruined, but that is my most recent memory. So reminding myself daily this is a zenful place causes me to take time before I begin to bake and cook. There are days I forget, but most times I remember to sit for a moment and relax and fill myself with love, light and positive energy.

I try to infuse our table with those energies as well. One of our house rules is tht we come to the table with positive feelings. We have both noticed that how we are feeling can not only effect how what I made tastes but how we taste it. There have been times I have eaten leftovers, which the night before tasted amazing. However, because something was bothering me, it did not taste as it did the night before.

Staying a zenful space does not just affect how food is prepared but how it is received. One of the final reasons for maintaining this loving and balanced space is that it is a reminder that the food cooked, prepared, served and received is a gift from the Ultimate, or however you refer to your Higher Power. What we have is a gift from the Ultimate. Recognizing it and all those who gave so that we might be nurtured is important. Seeing the ingredients as gifts contributes to the energy and the zenfulness of our kitchen.

Should you ever come to dine with us, we pray you will come with the love and positive energy we bring so we may all give thanks and experience the goodness and blessings of all on the table and in our zenful kitchen.

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Happiness

Happiness

Happiness is not a time, or a season, but a collection of moments. It is like a collection of crumbs, as my Bubby taught me.  It is this moment and that moment and that moment all combined to create this feeling of happiness.

Happiness comes from so many sources and for so many reasons.  However, I am ever mindful that it is more about happenness, then happiness.  It is about what has happened in my life that has given me a moment of happiness. It is about things that were said, done, seen, felt, tasted, etc. It is those moments which happened and give me a moment of it in my life.

They are just that moments; moments of happiness. Moments which are in my memories and in my present. They are the look on Laura’s face as she savored the taste of orange brownies or the look on Tom’s face as he threatened to do the breast stroke through a tray of lasagna. There is that moment when I made my first risotto from scratch and it came out perfectly. There was the sound of birds outside my window signing spring is here. They are moments.

So many of those moments happen around our table. They happen as we build community with each other, share a meal, create memories, and moments with each other over meals and beverages offered in love.

My zenful kitchen is where so many moments of happiness are created.

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Zenful Kitchen

Zenful Kitchen

Recently I was asked why I describe my kitchen as zenful.  It is because I am intentional about keeping the feeling here relaxing and filled with calming energy. I love cooking by myself sometimes because it is easy for me to just cook and be present and not be influenced by the energy of others. It reminds me of an experience I had as a teen where I was sitting in a small rowboat in the middle of the lake by myself. I wasn’t rowing or anything. I was just sitting there in my boat, feeling the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the summer breeze. I just was.

That is not to say I don’t like having others in the kitchen with me; I do. However, I have to remember to maintain my peaceful presence in the midst of others so that the kitchen stays calm and relaxing.  If I am not the calming presence in the space, things can easily get pulled out of balance by others stress and need to be in control. If I don’t do anything, things can go wrong. So I stay the calm in the storm and restore balance, peace and that zenful feeling.

I remember a scripture in the New Testament where Jesus and the disciples are on a boat in the storm and everyone is panicking but Jesus who is sleeping through it. After they wake him up, he just looks at the storm and says peace, be still.  In the kitchen when I stay solid and calm, others do not panic and we are most likely to keep that zenful energy in my kitchen.

There are times that I have those rough waves and storms in my kitchen. Sometimes my friends want to help but get stressed out because of their own lack of confidence over what they are doing. The teacher in me has to remind them to breathe and have fun in the moment. This is how we learn and create amazing memories. In the midst of these moments, we learn how speak to the nervousness and say breathe, I can do this.  I have also had people try to boss me around in my kitchen because of their need to be in control.  Sometimes, I suggest we work together and collaborate, after all we are not in a competition. Other times, I delegate parts of the meal and act more like the conductor of an orchestra so that we all play together and serve up a meal that comes together in perfect harmony.

There are things which help me stay zenful in the kitchen. One thing is my remembering to take time to meditate and be at peace as I roll in. This is especially true when preparing a feast for company like I am this weekend. I remind myself to enjoy each moment and to infuse love into all that I make. I also envision the whole process so I know the least stressful and most enjoyable way to experience the day. I think about what I am doing and what it symbolizes, like how coring 5 lbs of apples for my apple crisp is an opportunity for me to think about my core values. I think about how the apples will be coated in ingredients which will help with their transformation and add flavor to them as they cook. I think about the vegetables I will be adding to my salad and what each one brings to the party I want people to experience as they eat. I try to remember that people experience love and comfort at the table in different ways. While I love my lasagna, I enjoy soup more (especially this time of year). Thus the menu this weekend will contain soup, salad, lasagna, garlic bread and a bubbling apple crisp with vanilla ice cream and homemade caramel sauce.

What I love doing most in the kitchen is infusing love and zenfulness into everything I make. I want everyone to not only taste the love but experience it. Each meal should be creating a memorable moment, one bite at a time. There is nothing like being at the table with those we love that nobody wants to leave. This is what happens in the zenful kitchen.

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