Someone I know once told me they would rather be in a relationship, which was abusive and miserable, then be alone. The other day someone told me how being alone was the scariest time in their life. Increasingly, I am encountering people who would rather be around people who they do not like, then be alone. So what has made being alone such a thing to be feared? The question I asked both of them was what is it that you see in yourself when you are alone that makes it feel better to be treated badly by someone else? What they both said was that it was not about them, but that they did not want to be alone. What I have come to realize over the course of my life is that until we can be alone with ourselves, we cannot be present with anyone else.

There is a difference between desiring someone to cuddle with at night. There is nothing wrong with wanting to share a meal or talk with someone over a glass of wine or cup of coffee. Part of who we are as human beings is the desire to commune with others, to communicate and seek companionship and camaraderie. However, it can be unhealthy to avoid the sacred nature of being alone because one is scared to spend time communing with one’s self.

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