As human beings, we are all prone to struggle with things; most of our struggles are of our own making. We are prisoners to a whole host of things but the source of our struggles is closer than many of us would like to admit. For many of us our prison cells contain bars of fear, doubt, worry, and lack. We constantly worry about what somebody might say, might do, what might happen. We let our fears about the unknown, the uncertain rule our lives. We doubt whether we are good enough for someone or something, if we have what it takes to do what we feel called to do, doubt that we know what it is that the Infinite wants us to do, doubt whether or not the Creator loves us just as we are, doubt that there would be room for us at the inn. We worry about all kinds of things, we worry about our bodies, how we look in our clothes, if people are going to like us, if we going to be able to pay our bills this month, how we are going to get someplace, car issues, job issues, health issues, and relationship issues
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Have you ever gone through a phase in your life when you have felt as if your life was being controlled, rather then you controlling your life? Sometimes we can find ourselves in a space when life just seems to happen. It is as if we are living our life on autopilot. I have a friend who tells me that periodically when she is driving she is not sure how she got from point A to B, she just did. She got in the car and she arrived. Those two points she is conscious of; the time between A and B her brain was on autopilot. She said she is surprised she has never had an accident.
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This may not be about what you are thinking, but only you will know that as I have no idea what you are thinking. That is the very kind of ghost I am talking about. I can think I know what you are thinking, but what I think only exists in my mind. What you think I am thinking only exists in your mind. It is as if we are surrounded by beings, which exist as we create them to exist. They play a role and function in our minds. How I think about them, and how I relate to them, is about me. How they exist or do not exist in your mind is about you. Don Miguel Ruiz talked about these beings as ghosts that exist in our mind; it is as if there is a ghost town, which lives in our minds.
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The first agreement in Miguel don Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, is to be impeccable with your words. It took me a few reads of his book, to notice this, but he uses both the word “word” and “Word.” For me, there is a real difference between being impeccable with my Word and being impeccable with my words.
My words are what I say. They are the things that come out of mouth when I am speaking to others or myself. They can be also be words that I write, or probably more accurately these days, type. They come together to form sentences, paragraphs, and pages. They are what I use to express my opinion, to comment on a situation, to express what is going on in my mind, and to communicate to my students what it is that I want them to accomplish in a course. Sometimes, I use my words to come together in writing of poetry. I make up words such as sistahpastahhomegurl, which worked well in a poem I wrote for a friend and colleague of mine a few years ago.
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There was this one day when I got an invitation to attend a meeting. I was thinking about going until I saw that someone I was once very close to was going to be there. For a moment, I had thought about not going. I found myself making all these decisions out of fear. Fear of what they would say, what I would do, how we would react, and the scenario continued. Then I had to stop myself and ask myself what was I afraid of. Where was that fear coming from? Why was I putting that negative energy out there into the universe? Why was I thinking negative things about others or myself? It is true, I was not saying anything negative about others, or myself but I was thinking them.
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Recently, I have been listening to some of the people in my life claim some titles in their lives. A few people have claimed to be the queen of procrastination. Another person I know told me he was the king of trifling. I used to say that I was the queen of serious. As I have listened to my friends, colleagues, former congregants, students (past and present), family members, and people I do not even know how I know, I have come to realize that just about everyone has at one point or time in their lives earned the title of the king or queen of repetition. There are some things in my life that I have done for so long that I no longer realize why I do them or why I do them the way I do them. For example, I have specific days of the week that I clean each room in the house. Or I have to sleep on the left side of the bed. Whether I am with someone or not, I have my side of the bed. I can be sleeping in a king size bed by myself, but I always wind up in the same place, in the same position on the bed. I am not even sure how this became a pattern, but it is.
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