This morning I was thinking about this month’s spiritual practice. I had this epiphany that my wife has taught me so much about the spiritual practice of you. One of the first things she said to me when we were dating is that she was allergic to makeover queens. She defined them as those people who placed conditions on love. They are those people who say I would love you if _________ (you can fill in the blank).
I am not sure about anyone else, but I have known more than my share of people who have always let me know I was not enough of something or too much of something. I never quite fit their approval just as I was. The reality, I came to understand, is that it didn’t matter what I did, I would never be cast in their storyline because I would never have their unconditional love and acceptance.
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Have you ever gone through a phase in your life when you have felt as if your life was being controlled, rather then you controlling your life? Sometimes we can find ourselves in a space when life just seems to happen. It is as if we are living our life on autopilot. I have a friend who tells me that periodically when she is driving she is not sure how she got from point A to B, she just did. She got in the car and she arrived. Those two points she is conscious of; the time between A and B her brain was on autopilot. She said she is surprised she has never had an accident.
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Perhaps one of the most important qualities in spiritual growth is courage. Courage is what enables us to move through our fears rather then cover them up. Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and leader in Men’s Studies, illustrated one way even our youth have learned to cover up their fears. He said the easiest way to start a fight is to walk on to a playground and ask which one of the kids playing is gay. The fear of anyone thinking you are gay is enough to provoke an all out effort to prove their masculinity, and to demasculate others. There are aspects of our personality, which we are supposed to cover up. We are not supposed to show weakness, especially men. “Are you a baby?”
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I woke up this morning with this epiphany I had to share with a friend. The funny thing is my epiphanies tend to be things I knew at some level, but then rise to the top of my consciousness. This is what I remembered this morning about truth. We are to be about truth. We are to be about speaking from a place of truth. Not just our truth, but THE truth. Sometimes we might like to say we are the sole possessors of the truth, but like so many others, we are on a journey, which is constantly revealing new understandings and new insights about THE truth. Everyone, even those we do not necessarily agree with can have an insight into truth we do not have. What is important is that we always conduct our search for truth guided by the principles of love
As we conduct our search, we may find ourselves living with greater and more conscious levels of integrity. Integrity is about wholeness and authenticity.
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