Dear Ultimate Consciousness,
I remember growing up being told by one of my former therapists that feelings are not right or wrong. They are just what I am feeling and that I needed to honor my feelings. At the time, it seemed as if that worked for me. When I felt like crying, I cried. When I felt like laughing, I laughed. Whatever it was I was feeling, I allowed myself to feel.
However, as I grew and evolved in my own journey, I found that just acknowledging my feelings was not enough. So today, I want to thank you for the wisdom you gave me to look within. Yes, I needed to feel what I felt, but I also needed to take the time to understand why I was feeling what I was feeling. I remember when you helped me to understand that my feelings were like smoke alarms. They provided me with cues that what I was feeling was related to something else. Everything I feel is related to something else in my life. It is as if they are titles to a book or even a chapter in a book. They gave me a clue but then I had to read the chapter or book to understand what they are connected to and where I needed to heal, what agreements in my life I needed to revise, what lies I had been telling others or myself. It was only when I read the book and did the work that I was able to move forward in my healing and growth process.
When I did not, there were times that I found myself falling into the trap of being a time traveler. I would be sucked into the past and the distorted version that I had created out of my wounds. Other times, I would be sucked into the future and begin creating a distorted version of what might happen. In either case, I was not living in the present and thus not even experiencing the present moment because I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in another time zone.
I wanted to thank you for teaching me how to take it to the next level. So now, when I find myself reacting emotionally, I just stop and say this is what I am feeling and this is my truth. I am reacting to my truth and opening the door to my healing. I then do the healing work and then do something to celebrate the work I have done. We all have to be paid for our hard work J
Thank you for always teaching me what I need to learn next in my journey.