Ok, I am laughing about this now, but this morning I was not a happy trooper to say the least. It was a typical morning, Zoe had left for work, and I was working on the stacks of stuff before me when an 800 number began repeatedly calling me. It was my bank calling to tell me they were having a technical issue with several clients debit cards. So the next hour was about me calling, going through their verification process to ensure I am who I am say I am, being transferred to an automated system that would fix my passcode, being switched back to the customer service department by the automated system that was not working, to reverifying who I was to this next customer service representative who then reset my passcode and sent me back to this automated system and stayed on the line with me in case there was a problem, which of course there was. Then very nicely said, can you hold one moment and let me reset it again and then click and we were gone. So I called again and had to go through the process of verifying that I am who I am the third time and being told that I was answering the questions before being asked and if I continued to volunteer the information, she would not be able to talk to me. So I shut down, and after I verified that I was who I was, she said I am sorry but we cannot help you because our automated system is not working. It would be best if you just got in your car and drove to your branch and you can fix it there. Now after having been on the phone with these people for almost 60 minutes of trying to fix a problem I did not create, I was starting to feel irritated, but I kept telling myself to breathe. Then she pushed a button I thought I had healed. Just get in your car, drive to your branch, and reset it. I tried to explain to her, very nicely, that I could not do that, as I was no longer able to drive. I was not looking for sympathy, just trying to find out what other alternatives I had. Then she said, what do you mean you don’t drive? If you don’t have a car, then just take the bus and get it fixed.” It was about that time, that I realized I just needed to hang up. Still trying to be loving, I said, “It does not seem as if you are able to help me with this.” At this point, I should have listened to my spirit and hung up, but for some reason, I chose not to and the conversation went nowhere from there, well actually it went downhill. After one more time of trying to explain to her why I could not go to the branch on demand, she said well if you can’t leave the house, then you really don’t need a passcode, so why are you even bothering to have it reset.” At that point, I said, “thank you for not being able to help me and have a blessed day.” Click.
After iming my 30 second commercial partner, I took some of my own advice and just began laughing and kept laughing until I had some greater clarity about my response to this situation. I really should send this last woman a thank you card because she saved me hours in therapy and lifted up some mental debris that needed to be addressed, removed, and healed. Clearly, it was time for me to take some additional time to grieve the loss of my independence again.
But why was it coming up now. it was not until I was reading over my introductory letter to those doing the 28 week spiritual makeover workshop that it hit me like a 2 x 4 right upside the head. I had been doing all this work and reflection on Air, which is all about mental cleansing. I have been doing all kinds of decluttering in my life, letting all kinds of stuff go, and so here it was, this dust bunny that had been hiding under my bed, present but out of site.
Dust bunnies do that. They begin and then continue to grow until you capture them, hiding in obscure places, like under the bed, until you go through the trouble of moving the bed, which is challenging for me to do or something comes along in the environment to blow it out. So this morning, the air came through, blew this giant mental dust bunny out from under the bed, and said now you can deal with this and let it go.
I have to laugh because I always tell those going through the process to be prepared for the coincidences and to pay attention to the elements we are working on. Things do happen. I should have learned this lesson during our 28 day Intensive because things did happen then as well. For example, during water week, our showerhead needed to be replaced.
So now that I have taken my 30 second commercial, laughed until I had to pee, and had my epiphany about what and why, I can give thanks for the air blowing this dust bunny into visibility and give thanks for the courage to take time to let go of that which I need to let go and celebrate that which I can do in my life. Hmm. I wonder what other dust bunnies the Spirit of Air is going to blow up over these next several weeks.