As most of you know, I had a near death experience on November 1, 2014 and have spent quite a bit of time the last 10 days processing everything that has happened in my life. I have learned a number of lessons along the way. One of them is about how opening up is an act of service. One of the most significant aspects of my healing has been my active choice to be transparent about what is happening in my life and jumping into the blessings, which this significant change has brought me. The only way for me to grow in my own personal journey was to work and climb to the next level.
This morning was a real test of my willingness to do that. I was scheduled to have the second of a series of surgeries this Thursday to cleanse my kidneys and get them stone free and fully functioning. Then the doctor’s office called to let me know my surgery had been cancelled because they did not like something they saw in my EKG. They wanted me to see a cardiologist before they would approve me for surgery. My emotional response was strange; at least I think it was, in that I had this wave of fear of what might be wrong with my heart, frustration about the change in plans, and the realization that I had poured a lot of energy into visualizing my having a successful surgery on Thursday. I had it all planned out in my head. I had my healing timeline and a clear plan on how I was going to fulfill my contractual obligations at work. Then with one call, I found myself feeling as if I was sitting in emotional rubbish. I had to make a choice. I could either sit in the rubbish, or I could be like the phoenix rising and focus on the one question I always ask people to answer in the midst of change, “What is God doing for me in this moment?” That is when the peace began to flow again. God was letting me know that I was blessed with a medical care team whose first priority was ensuring my health and well-being. I was being reminded that all things happen when they are supposed to happen. I was being reminded that I had come through the first surgery, which enabled me to be on this side of life because my work here is not done.
I came to realize that life was slowly moving me and supporting me in my intent to make healthier choices about my body and my life. All I had been through was about the universe helping me to become healthier. Just in case I was thinking about back peddling, God was making sure that did not happen. So now, I am off all but one of my medications, but I am being put in a place of being intentional about making choices about my health and well-being. The cardiologist will help me ensure that my heart is in tiptop condition and that I no longer procrastinate on being more physically active. My urologist is working to help ensure my kidneys and bladder are doing their jobs. The endocrinologist will be helping me be mindful about the effect of what I put in my body on my blood sugar. All of this is about me growing and evolving physically so I can be of greater service to others.
We all have times when things do not go the way we want in our lives, the secret is to not shut down, but open up to the possibilities that are being presented to us. Open up to the blessings the Universe is providing. Open up to the love and support of others. Open up to the possibility of growth, evolution, and transformation.