Back to Kindergarten

One of my favorite books for the longest time was Robert Fulghum’s book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. In it, there was a list of important life lessons he learned in kindergarten. Number 11 “Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” When one was in kindergarten, it seemed easy for most people I know to lead a balanced life. We went to kindergarten, learned and thought about things like the alphabet and big and little letters. We would spend time in school and after school, playing and creating games or stories with our friends or by ourselves.
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Set Yourself Free

As human beings, we are all prone to struggle with things; most of our struggles are of our own making. We are prisoners to a whole host of things but the source of our struggles is closer than many of us would like to admit. For many of us our prison cells contain bars of fear, doubt, worry, and lack. We constantly worry about what somebody might say, might do, what might happen. We let our fears about the unknown, the uncertain rule our lives. We doubt whether we are good enough for someone or something, if we have what it takes to do what we feel called to do, doubt that we know what it is that the Infinite wants us to do, doubt whether or not the Creator loves us just as we are, doubt that there would be room for us at the inn. We worry about all kinds of things, we worry about our bodies, how we look in our clothes, if people are going to like us, if we going to be able to pay our bills this month, how we are going to get someplace, car issues, job issues, health issues, and relationship issues
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Compassion

What is compassion? When I was in seminary, one of my professors introduced me to a book called The Quality Of Characteristics. The author Ruth Gendler, describes compassion in the following manner. Compassion wears Saturn’s rings on the fingers of her left hand. She is intimate with the life force. She understands the meaning of sacrifice. She is not afraid to die. There is nothing you cannot tell her. Compassion speaks with a slight accent. She was a vulnerable child, miserable in school, cold, shy, alert to the pain in the eyes of her sturdier classmates. The other kids teased her about being too sentimental, and for a long time she believed them. In ninth grade she was befriended by Courage. Courage lent Compassion bright sweaters, explained the slang, showed her how to play volleyball, taught her you can love people and not care what they think about you. In many ways Compassion is still the stranger, neither wonderful nor terrible, herself, utterly, always.[1]
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In celebration of spiritual well being

This week, October 21-27, is celebrated by many health care organizations as pastoral care/spiritual care week. It is a time when these organizations take time to give thanks for those who assist so many in their journey towards spiritual well-being. For some, this journey towards spiritual well-being is associated with a specific religion, but for others it is not. Spiritual well being is a journey of learning about one’s self, one’s values, one’s beliefs, purpose, and meaning in life. Spiritual well-being is not a one-time experience, but an ongoing practice; it is a way of being in the world, which embodies the positive aspects of one’s spiritual relationship with their Higher Power, however one defines that. It is our spiritual well-being, which assists and guides us through the issues, stressors, and challenges of daily life. Our sense of spiritual well being can provide us with freedom and control when we realize we are not our circumstances; it is us, not our circumstances, which are in control. Spiritual well being leads to greater experiences of peace, self-expression, and self-esteem.
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Spiritual Mountain Climbing

The other day I was sharing with my students how there is a song, which has kept me focused during a challenge, is Miley Cyrus’s song, The Climb. In the song, she talks about how it is not about the mountain, but about the climb. When I was pastoring, I once talked about some of the spiritual lessons I had learned from the one time I mountain climbed. It has been decades since I climbed a mountain, but the memory of doing so has been helpful to me. See for me, my spiritual journey is like climbing a mountain. I have climbed some easy spiritual mountains in my life; those which are like hiking up a path or a scrambling over a few rocks. Then there are those mountains we climb, which require us to have some basic tools, especially when we need to scale the face of a mountain. Most experienced mountain climbers will tell you never to climb a mountain by yourself.
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Living like a Tiger

I have always thought that tigers are these amazingly beautiful cats. Each tiger has its unique markings. Growing up my primary interaction with tigers was at the circus and at the zoo. On rare occasion, I got to see them on Mutual Omaha’s Animal Kingdom. As a result, my primary knowledge of tigers was what I saw based on these beautiful animals being outside of their natural environments. Recently, I was offered the opportunity to understand another side of tigers and to see how a few of their qualities can assist in spiritual development. These qualities are discernment, gentleness, and precision.
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The ties that bind

Last night, students, faculty, staff, and members of the administration of SUNY Brockport gathered in in the Seymour Union Ballroom for a time of remembrance of an 18 year old, Alexandra Kogut, who was murdered by her boyfriend this past Saturday. The room quickly filled with students and the sea of students continued to flow in until there was not a seat, a spot to stand, or floor space on which to sit. What was also present last night were spiritual values, which bring communities together and are not always present in situations of domestic violence. All too often, I hear stories of how people who were in abusive situations received no support from their churches or faith communities. Recently, I heard of a woman who had been assaulted and stabbed by her abusive husband. As she recovered from her injuries, she turned to her church, expecting pastoral care and support. She was not then employed because her husband would not allow her to work.
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Paradoxical balance

So often in life, especially in Western culture, we are taught to see things with an either or kind of mentality. It is either right or wrong. It is black or white. One is male or female. One is strong or one is weak. There is no room in this approach to thinking for both ands. Yet life is filled with these paradoxes, which seem to enable one to stay balanced and present in this world. Recently, I read a piece by Jos Slabbert, called The Modern Taoist Sage. He began this reflection by saying “The Taoist sage consists of paradoxes that would mortify most people, but do not seem to bother him at all:
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Are you choosing or losing?

Have you ever gone through a phase in your life when you have felt as if your life was being controlled, rather then you controlling your life? Sometimes we can find ourselves in a space when life just seems to happen. It is as if we are living our life on autopilot. I have a friend who tells me that periodically when she is driving she is not sure how she got from point A to B, she just did. She got in the car and she arrived. Those two points she is conscious of; the time between A and B her brain was on autopilot. She said she is surprised she has never had an accident.
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Transformation Lessons

The other morning our love and inspiration group had a powerful conversation about how prayers are answered. In the midst of sharing stories, I was reminded of how the universe directs energy where our attention and intention goes. The universe has a way of helping us tap into the power and gifts we already have in an interesting way. Let me explain. About ten years ago, shortly after I had started seminary, I was praying God would help me become a more forgiving person. I had always thought I was forgiving, but about that time I had come to realize there were a few people, one in particular, I was not quite able to forgive. I had said I wanted to forgive them, but never seemed to get to the space I could forgive this individual. A few days later, a fellow student at the seminary asked if he could borrow my car. To make a long story short, he wound up “renting” my car for drug money.
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In The Meantime

There are numerous times, emotions, and seasons we might experience in our lives, but the gaps between them represent the meantime. The meantime is the time between the moment we are born and the moment we die. While we are waiting to die, we are living in the meantime. That time between when the seeds are planted and we can pick those fresh strawberries off the vine is the meantime. The time between when we are so mad at someone we can spit nails and the time we are ready to make up is the meantime. That time between when we receive a vision and the vision becomes reality is the meantime. There is a time for every season under heaven, but we spend our entire lives in the meantime. There is the day we physically come into this world and the day we physically leave this world. The season in between our birth and our death, we spend in the meantime. Life is about living in the meantime. Life is about learning how to live and what to do in the meantime.
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Recognizing and Releasing the Ghosts

This may not be about what you are thinking, but only you will know that as I have no idea what you are thinking. That is the very kind of ghost I am talking about. I can think I know what you are thinking, but what I think only exists in my mind. What you think I am thinking only exists in your mind. It is as if we are surrounded by beings, which exist as we create them to exist. They play a role and function in our minds. How I think about them, and how I relate to them, is about me. How they exist or do not exist in your mind is about you. Don Miguel Ruiz talked about these beings as ghosts that exist in our mind; it is as if there is a ghost town, which lives in our minds.
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What are you distributing?

A friend of mine was recently talking about the foods available at her local food bank. In every community, there is a food bank where people can receive food to sustain themselves and their family. However, at the same time, each of us in our own ways is a distribution center, a spiritual food bank of sorts. The question is what is on your shelves. We each have gifts, talents, skills, and the capacity to be kind and compassionate, however, where are they. Are they in your private stash for personal consumption or on the shelves of your spiritual distribution center?
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Temporary and Permanent Residency

A friend of ours is interviewing for a job in another state. As she has talked about the idea of moving, she has thought about taking up a temporary residence somewhere until she can decide where and in what neighborhood she wants to live in. As I have listened to the stories of those whose homes were lost during Hurricane Katrina, there was a clear sense that where I am at right now is a temporary situation, but soon I will be moving back to or into permanent housing again. When it comes to where we live, most of us have a clear sense of when the place is our temporary and or permanent residence. So why is that some of us have trouble doing that with our feelings.
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Courage Up, Not Cover Up

Perhaps one of the most important qualities in spiritual growth is courage. Courage is what enables us to move through our fears rather then cover them up. Michael Kimmel, a sociologist and leader in Men’s Studies, illustrated one way even our youth have learned to cover up their fears. He said the easiest way to start a fight is to walk on to a playground and ask which one of the kids playing is gay. The fear of anyone thinking you are gay is enough to provoke an all out effort to prove their masculinity, and to demasculate others. There are aspects of our personality, which we are supposed to cover up. We are not supposed to show weakness, especially men. “Are you a baby?”
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The P Word

I was talking with an associate of mine about, what my son calls the P word, Patience. She said when she used to preach about it, she would say, “God I need patience, and I need it now.” The interesting thing about patience is that we have the capability of being patient at any point in time in our lives. We just have to choose to work what a friend of mine calls the patience muscle. Unlike things like time which we all have the same amount of regardless who we are. regardless of our race, ethnicity, sexuality, class, sex, etc. we all have 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute. What we do with those 24 hours may differ, but we all have the same amount of time in a single day. Patience, unlike time, is one quality one can acquire greater levels of over time. The secret is in working your P muscle. As many wisdom teachers have argued, the more you practice patient, the more patient you become
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Staying grateful

Maintaining an attitude of gratitude is one of those things which most people find relatively easy to do when things are going well in their lives. When you have a secure and well paying job, it is easy to give thanks. When your relationship is stable, it is easy to give thanks. When you are doing well health wise, it is easy to give thanks. The problem is that most of us have those days in our life when our job may be at risk, or we may be worried about trying to find one.
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Testify!

There are those moments in time which stay with you and inspire you throughout your life. One of those moments for me was the day I first heard the song Testify to Love by Avalon. I was watching an episode of Touched by an Angel about a young boy who was dying and his last wish was that his mom would finish a song she had started writing. She finished the night he died. The lyrics to this song always remind me of the importance of giving thanks for all the goodness in our loves. Whether it is, as the song says, the colors of the rainbow, the voices of the wind, or the simple acts of mercy, it is important to give thanks.
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It’s repo time!

The other day I saw some commercial about these people who repossess things for a living. While I am sure that some people enjoy spending time watching other people’s stuff be repossessed, I am certain I will never watch it. However, as I was sorting through my feelings about the whole repo industry, I came to the understanding that at various times in my life I had allowed some things, which had been of value to me, to be repossessed. I am not talking about cars or any other material possession, but my self-love, self-esteem, appreciation of self, inner dignity, potential, and some other amazing qualities and gifts.
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