Inexplicable

November 14, 2022 Sharon Jacobson

Inexplicable

I love looking at artwork.
There is something about doing so
that reminds me it is ok to not know,
to not understand,
and for things to be inexplicable.
It is ok to live in a state of mystery,
because it is about walking in faith
and trusting that the one who has guided you
to this stage in your life,
will guide you to all the stages.
You do not have to understand the how
or when
or why
or where
but know you are going to arrive where you are headed
and when you are supposed to be there.
Everything in life is filled with
the inexplicable.
We may seek to understand something,
but there may always be aspects we never quite understand.
It is ok to not know and
to live with the inexplicable.

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The Hands of God

July 11, 2022 Sharon Jacobson

The Hands of God

A friend of mine once told me that he wished he could see the presence of God in his life, like I do. Honestly, it is not something I work at. It just seems so visible. Like today. Yestrday I put an ad on Facebook Marketplace for 2 pieces of furniture we were just going to give away, but decided I would ask for a small amount of money to donate to Roc the Dogs Rescue, which my spiritual daughter operates. That is when the magic happened.

The two people taking the furniture are connected to me without my even knowing it. The first person has a daughter who was almost a student in my class. She signed up once and then dropped. The second person was the one that has had me on a journey all day. I gave her the address so she could pick up the entertainment stand this week and she said I know that street, I used to live there. Not only did she live on the street, but she was the one we bought the house from 17 years ago. I mentioned it to my neighbor who mentioned another person, whose name I had seen but I did not know. This person was the sister in law of the person we bought the house from and she had bought it from her.

Now the story should end there, but it doesn’t. In talking with one of my neighbors who has long moved away, she said that before her was a couple she and her husband were very close to and had moved to Arizona. Before that was an elderly woman and her daughter who had moved to Vancouver. In one day, I came to know everyone who has ever called our home theirs.

However, the journey does not end there. I found the couple in Arizona and am waiting to hear back from them and doubt that I will find the woman in Vancouver. I kept thinking that this is it, I am talking with my students about genealogy and I get to construct my home’s genealogy. Not the end.

Every family who has ever lived here has been of service. This truly is God’s house. I am living on holy ground. I have to confirm about the elderly woman, but I heard she was a retired nurse. The man who moved to Arizona is a pastor, the two women who lived here before me are both in health care and we too are of service. That we found each other is a miracle in itself, but that we all have hearts of servants is yet another. How can I not see the hands of the Ultimate one in all of this.

WOW! What an awesome day!

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Doubt

April 4, 2022 Sharon Jacobson

Doubt

I was once taught that doubt is a sin.
However, now I give thanks for
any time I doubt.
It is an invitation
to learn,
grow,
and evolve.
Doubt is
like reading a mystery novel
trying to figure out
the who,
the what,
the when,
the why
and the where.
When we embrace doubt
we hold a mirror
to our own beliefs,
and gain a deeper understanding
of ourselves,
of others
and of
the one who provided
us with the very situation
in which we experience
doubt.

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Doubt

March 31, 2021 Sharon Jacobson

Doubt

Doubting is ok.
For the longest time,
I was told it meant I had no faith.
Doubt means I have faith.
Doubt means I am open to the unknown.
Doubt is about me being willing
to question my need to be in control
Doubt is about exploring myself
and being at peace with not knowing
what will happen or when.
Doubt is about me doubting
my own doubt
and being open to exploing
the mysteries of life
and embarking on a daily adventure.

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Mystery

February 8, 2021 Sharon Jacobson

Mystery

Twinkle, twinkle little star
how I wonder what you are.
There is something about no knowing,
about wondering,
about the mysteries of life,
which make us feel uncomfortable,
especially as adults.
As a child
I loved mysteries,
I loved wondering about things I did not know.
I loved reading them,
with all their twists and turns,
with clues being revealed along the way.
Life is a mystery.
We do not know where
we are being led
or what will happen.
So let’s just enjoy the ride,
pay attention to the clues,
and slide home at the end,
having lived the mystery of life
to its fullest.

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Spiritual Detective

August 10, 2020 Sharon Jacobson

I used to love mystery novels,
but now I am playing the detective
in my own life.
I follow the clues
the things I see,
the things which fall between the cracks
and are visible but not.
I follow the scents,
the sounds,
the tastes,
the textures
and all that life offers
as I work my way through
that which I do not know,
do not understand,
and wonder about in my life.
I follow the clues,
I peel back the layers,
I look at things with a magnifying glass,
to make sure I get even the tiniest of clues.
I keep on the case,
until I solve the mystery,
and know I have come
to a deeper understanding,
to a deeper relationship
with the one who sent me
the clues
in the first place.

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The Green Mile

October 31, 2017 Sharon Jacobson

Although this film came out a few years ago, it was just recently that I got to learn more about it and what it has to teach us about the mysterious ways God works in and through our lives. For those who know nothing about this film, it is the story of a man Paul Edgecombe who was once the block supervisor of the Cold Mountain Penitentiary Death row, nicknamed “The Green Mile,” because of the color of the linoleum. It is his story about the transformative power one of his inmates, John Coffey, a 6 ft 8 inch powerfully built black man had on his life. Coffey had been convicted of raping and murdering two small white girls.

Throughout this story we watch as Paul comes to realize that John possesses gifts that defy his understanding. He cures Paul of a urinary tract infection. He cures the warden’s wife of an inoperable brain tumor. John also has the gift of seeing things. When touched by the man who had raped and murdered the young girls he saw the event. By the end of the story, we know that those healed by John gained an unnaturally long lifespan. He saw John’s ghost at the scene when he was holding his wife while she died.

My Ways are not Your Ways

October 18, 2017 Sharon Jacobson

I have always wondered why we spend so much time trying to understand and explain that which has already told us we cannot explain. Why is it that we are not okay with not being able to explain God. Why is it not okay to just say I do not know.

The more I try to conceptualize and theorize about this force many call God, the more I realize we will never be able to do more, in this realm, then have experiences which allow us to know we have just had an encounter with the Divine. For some it is enough that we sit in those moments where we know we have experienced the presence of the Divine.

One of the liberating lessons I have learned from my study of Toltec Wisdom is that it is what it is nothing more, nothing less. What if we sat with our experiences with the Divine in that way, not making more or less of the experience then it is. When we do are we not in some way dishonoring the authenticity and uniqueness of that experience. If we dishonor the experience, are we also dishonoring the Divine.

Bundles in a Field

October 3, 2017 Sharon Jacobson

Growing up in a Jewish household, there were a few stories my Bubby used to tell me which continue to shape me today. One story was about how when we are born God would take you to a field that was covered with bundles. The bundle signified the troubles that you picked up to bring with you to Earth. The teaching from the rabbis was that if God were to bring you back to that field at the time of your death to pick another bundle, you would pick the same one. We would not do anything differently.

Sometimes we think we have to come up with a plan for our lives. We don’t the plan is there, we just have to stop and listen. I remember about 16 years ago being in a space in my life where I felt as if my life was in a shamble. I was going through multiple losses, which included my mother’s death, the end of a 9-year relationship, and the near passing of my son. It was a challenging time and I did not understand anything that was going on. I remember telling God that I was tired of trying to figure it out, so as the song says lead me, guide me, and order my steps in your way and then the magic started happening.

Embracing Your Inner Wisdom

December 24, 2013 Sharon Jacobson

I came across a quote recently by Wendell Berry from The Unforeseen Wilderness: Kentucky’s Red River Gorge. He wrote, “The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only by a spiritual journey, a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling and joyful, by which we arrive at the ground of our own feet, and learn to be at home. It is a journey we can make only by the acceptance of mystery and of mystification – by yielding to this condition that what we have expected is not there.”

Have you ever had one of those experiences that turned out to be far more then what you expected? A colleague of mine tells the story about going out to pick cranberries. She had walked this trail many times before in her life. As she tells the story, she found herself becoming tangled in her inner mind and emotions.

Yūgen

November 19, 2012 Sharon Jacobson

There are those moments in life where what you are feeling transcends description. I have yet to discover an English word, which would capture the depth and essence of what I feel at these moments. It is in my attempts to describe those moments that I am reminded of how limited language can be. Sometimes I cease trying to find the perfect word, assuming that it either does not exist or when I am meant to know it, it will find it’s way to me. It was quite by accident, that I stumbled upon the Yugen while on stumbleupon. According to the site, Yūgen means “an awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words.” As I read the definition of this word, a wave of peace, exhilaration, and recognition moved through my body, mind, and spirit. I recognized this feeling quite well. The last time I experienced this was when I was seeking the word to describe my purpose in life and found the word Antevasin while reading Eat, Pray, Love.

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