When I was in seminary, Dr. Gail
Ricciuti, my homiletics professor, told me about a book by J Ruth Gendler called
The Book of Qualities. It has since
become one of my favorite books, in part because she has helped me to
understand human qualities, such as jealousy, in new ways and enabled me to put
a very different human face on them. She wrote this about jealousy,
Jealousy stands by the blue flame of
the gas stove stirring obsession stew. In his mind he is tearing people limb
from limb. He wears a shirt that is almost in style with it odd angular shapes
and bright edges. He can be quite charming when he wants to be. He certainly
has a flair for drama. After a while though, the roles jealousy takes begin to
seem shallow, dishonest, repetitive. The more upset he feels, the more loudly
he denies it. For a time I stopped giving parties because he wouldn’t come if I
invited certain people. At that point, I couldn’t give a party without inviting
him, and I was unwilling to censor my guest list for his sake. He is quite capable
of showing up anywhere unexpected, uninvited, unwelcome.
Read moreImpeccabilis is Latin for impeccable which means not to sin.
The first agreement in Toltec Wisdom is to “be impeccable with your word.” So
what exactly does that mean? To be impeccable with one’s word is not just the
verbal or spoken word, but also those that float through your mind. It means we
are mindful of what we think about others, the universe, and ourselves.
Being
impeccable with one’s word is not easy.
Read moreMost of us know that the heart is the organ,
which pumps blood through the circulatory system. They are also a symbol of love,
which you often find on Valentine’s Day cards and are the shape of candies that
people give each other on that day, at least in the United States. However, the
heart I have been thinking about today is not a physical heart or a material
heart, but the spiritual state of being which enables love to flow through our
mind, body, and soul. It is that state of being which enables love to flow in
us and through our interactions with others.
Several years ago, a dear friend underwent
open-heart surgery. She needed it to fix the disease, which had physically
damaged her heart. Recently, I had a conversation with an acquaintance who
suggested she needed open heart surgery because she had experienced so much
wounding and hurt that she no longer trusted herself or others.
Read more“If
the only prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” –
Meister Eckhart
Gratitude
is more then an attitude, it is a way of being. It is a spiritual practice,
which has been shown to have significant impacts on the quality of one’s life.
Two psychologists,
Michael
McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, and Robert
Emmons of the University of California at Davis, wrote an article about an
experiment they conducted on gratitude and its impact on well-being. The study
split several hundred people into three different groups and all of the
participants were asked to keep daily diaries. The first group kept a diary of
the events that occurred during the day without being told specifically to
write about either good or bad things; the second group was told to record
their unpleasant experiences; and the last group was instructed to make a daily
list of things for which they were grateful. The results of the study indicated
that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness,
enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy. In addition, those in the gratitude group experienced less
depression and stress, were more likely to help others, exercised more
regularly, and made greater progress toward achieving personal goals.
Read moreI was looking at the image on our website's homepage and the fog, which hovered over the water and the mountains, caught my
attention. The fog seemed heavier in some spots then others. As a result, I could
see the details in some areas more then others. It reminded me of when I was
driving through fog and I could barely see what was ahead of me. However, as I moved
through the fog in faith, a few feet at a time, I always reached my
destination. Sometimes I had to slow down and focus on being mindful of where I
was and what I could see, but I made it through.
Read moreThis might seem like a strange way to begin my first blog
for this New Year, but empty for me is an awesome space to be at in my life. I
am not talking about the stressful kind of empty like when you run out of gas
on the highway because you did not realize your gas tank was empty. Nor am I talking
about that space when you may feel like you are running on empty because you
have no energy left in your life. Nor am I talking about how you feel like your
life is empty of love, life, and meaning, although that too would be a great
focus for a reflection. Rather, I am talking about this state of happiness and bliss,
which comes when one is empty, and in need of nothing.
Read moreI woke up this morning wondering whether to reflect on destiny or devotion as they both resonated with my spirit for different reasons. However, the more I reflected on the word destiny, the more it drew me in and made me realize I was destined to write about destiny on the day I celebrate the 11 year anniversary of the woman I was destined to share my life with.
Talking about destiny is not as easy as it seems. One of the challenges I found was in how to define it. The definitions I found in dictionaries often times used destiny interchangeably with fate, as if they are the same thing. Fate is about all that was decided before we are incarnated. Destiny is about our participation in our life and how we respond to what arises in our life. Do we make the best of our lives regardless of what situations we encounter?
Read moreIt is not as if I have not written about compassion before. I have done so a couple of times in Compassion and Courage’s Friend: Compassion. However, I felt inspired to reflect on this spiritual value again for two reasons: the holiday season and the recent tragedies globally involving the deaths of children and adults. The recent tragedies at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut and at the Chenpeng Village Primary School in the Henan province of China[1] have begun conversations about weapon control and addressing mental health issues domestically and globally. These are the topics most frequently addressed by the media and on social media outlets, such as Facebook and Twitter, surrounding these and similar tragic events in our world.
Read moreThis week I was blessed with a number of B words to consider as inspiration for this week’s blog. Those included bread, body, blessings, bologna, and breathe. No offense to the one who recommended bologna, however, short of bringing back memories of fried bologna sandwiches from my childhood it left me short of inspiration. Although I did feel blessed when my mother would make them and I would take a deep breath between each bite and give thanks for what was then a very special treat in my life. The others left me with memories of topics I have blogged on recently, or at least in the last few years. For example, there were the blogs Breathe before speaking, Breath, Baked to Perfection, and To the love of my life.
What I believe about bread, body, blessings, bologna, or breathing is only true for me and only if I agree that it is true.
Read moreLately, others have invited me to participate in some interesting blogging challenges. This week was no different. For the next 26 weeks, I will be blogging my way through the alphabet. When I asked some of our Facebook and Twitter followers for some A words as inspiration for this week’s blog, you offered me appreciation, awareness, agreements, attitude, asparagus, and anchovies, in no specific order. While the last two might seem a stretch in terms of this particular reflection, the more I thought about these letter words, the more I realize that they were, in their own unique way, related.
One of our followers suggested the word appreciation because she said she appreciated everything Inspiritual does for our readers, members, and followers. While we too appreciated the feedback, I realized that being able to be grateful and appreciate someone else’s actions, words, or behaviors was in part about awareness and attitude. If one is not have an attitude of gratitude about the blessings in one’s life, then one cannot appreciate the fullness and richness of those blessings.
Read moreFor the last several months, in our newsletter, I have been writing about the metamorphosis type transitions we undergo when we are faced with a major life transition. Metamorphosis is not easy, not simple, and the process is filled with challenges. Metamorphosis is the process a caterpillar undergoes, as it becomes a butterfly. Metamorphosis is not about being a caterpillar or a butterfly, but the journey from caterpillar to butterfly. Metamorphosis brings about a dramatic change in character or appearance of those who go through it. Metamorphosis is about evolution. It is about rebirth. It is about transformation. It is about conversion. It is about making corrections at any point in time in your life. It is about remolding, realigning, and readjusting to what the Divine is calling you to become next in your life. It is about the willingness to take quantum leaps in your life and make total changes, often times radical and sudden. Are you ready?
Read moreThere are those moments in life where what you are feeling transcends description. I have yet to discover an English word, which would capture the depth and essence of what I feel at these moments. It is in my attempts to describe those moments that I am reminded of how limited language can be. Sometimes I cease trying to find the perfect word, assuming that it either does not exist or when I am meant to know it, it will find it’s way to me. It was quite by accident, that I stumbled upon the Yugen while on stumbleupon. According to the site, Yūgen means “an awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words.” As I read the definition of this word, a wave of peace, exhilaration, and recognition moved through my body, mind, and spirit. I recognized this feeling quite well. The last time I experienced this was when I was seeking the word to describe my purpose in life and found the word Antevasin while reading Eat, Pray, Love.
Read moreOne of my favorite books for the longest time was Robert Fulghum’s book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. In it, there was a list of important life lessons he learned in kindergarten. Number 11 “Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.”
When one was in kindergarten, it seemed easy for most people I know to lead a balanced life. We went to kindergarten, learned and thought about things like the alphabet and big and little letters. We would spend time in school and after school, playing and creating games or stories with our friends or by ourselves.
Read moreAs human beings, we are all prone to struggle with things; most of our struggles are of our own making. We are prisoners to a whole host of things but the source of our struggles is closer than many of us would like to admit. For many of us our prison cells contain bars of fear, doubt, worry, and lack. We constantly worry about what somebody might say, might do, what might happen. We let our fears about the unknown, the uncertain rule our lives. We doubt whether we are good enough for someone or something, if we have what it takes to do what we feel called to do, doubt that we know what it is that the Infinite wants us to do, doubt whether or not the Creator loves us just as we are, doubt that there would be room for us at the inn. We worry about all kinds of things, we worry about our bodies, how we look in our clothes, if people are going to like us, if we going to be able to pay our bills this month, how we are going to get someplace, car issues, job issues, health issues, and relationship issues
Read moreWhat is compassion? When I was in seminary, one of my professors introduced me to a book called The Quality Of Characteristics. The author Ruth Gendler, describes compassion in the following manner.
Compassion wears Saturn’s rings on the fingers of her left hand. She is intimate with the life force. She understands the meaning of sacrifice. She is not afraid to die. There is nothing you cannot tell her. Compassion speaks with a slight accent. She was a vulnerable child, miserable in school, cold, shy, alert to the pain in the eyes of her sturdier classmates. The other kids teased her about being too sentimental, and for a long time she believed them. In ninth grade she was befriended by Courage. Courage lent Compassion bright sweaters, explained the slang, showed her how to play volleyball, taught her you can love people and not care what they think about you. In many ways Compassion is still the stranger, neither wonderful nor terrible, herself, utterly, always.[1]
Read moreThis week, October 21-27, is celebrated by many health care organizations as pastoral care/spiritual care week. It is a time when these organizations take time to give thanks for those who assist so many in their journey towards spiritual well-being. For some, this journey towards spiritual well-being is associated with a specific religion, but for others it is not. Spiritual well being is a journey of learning about one’s self, one’s values, one’s beliefs, purpose, and meaning in life. Spiritual well-being is not a one-time experience, but an ongoing practice; it is a way of being in the world, which embodies the positive aspects of one’s spiritual relationship with their Higher Power, however one defines that. It is our spiritual well-being, which assists and guides us through the issues, stressors, and challenges of daily life. Our sense of spiritual well being can provide us with freedom and control when we realize we are not our circumstances; it is us, not our circumstances, which are in control. Spiritual well being leads to greater experiences of peace, self-expression, and self-esteem.
Read moreThe other day I was sharing with my students how there is a song, which has kept me focused during a challenge, is Miley Cyrus’s song, The Climb. In the song, she talks about how it is not about the mountain, but about the climb. When I was pastoring, I once talked about some of the spiritual lessons I had learned from the one time I mountain climbed.
It has been decades since I climbed a mountain, but the memory of doing so has been helpful to me. See for me, my spiritual journey is like climbing a mountain. I have climbed some easy spiritual mountains in my life; those which are like hiking up a path or a scrambling over a few rocks. Then there are those mountains we climb, which require us to have some basic tools, especially when we need to scale the face of a mountain. Most experienced mountain climbers will tell you never to climb a mountain by yourself.
Read moreI have always thought that tigers are these amazingly beautiful cats. Each tiger has its unique markings. Growing up my primary interaction with tigers was at the circus and at the zoo. On rare occasion, I got to see them on Mutual Omaha’s Animal Kingdom. As a result, my primary knowledge of tigers was what I saw based on these beautiful animals being outside of their natural environments.
Recently, I was offered the opportunity to understand another side of tigers and to see how a few of their qualities can assist in spiritual development. These qualities are discernment, gentleness, and precision.
Read moreLast night, students, faculty, staff, and members of the administration of SUNY Brockport gathered in in the Seymour Union Ballroom for a time of remembrance of an 18 year old, Alexandra Kogut, who was murdered by her boyfriend this past Saturday. The room quickly filled with students and the sea of students continued to flow in until there was not a seat, a spot to stand, or floor space on which to sit. What was also present last night were spiritual values, which bring communities together and are not always present in situations of domestic violence.
All too often, I hear stories of how people who were in abusive situations received no support from their churches or faith communities. Recently, I heard of a woman who had been assaulted and stabbed by her abusive husband. As she recovered from her injuries, she turned to her church, expecting pastoral care and support. She was not then employed because her husband would not allow her to work.
Read moreSo often in life, especially in Western culture, we are taught to see things with an either or kind of mentality. It is either right or wrong. It is black or white. One is male or female. One is strong or one is weak. There is no room in this approach to thinking for both ands. Yet life is filled with these paradoxes, which seem to enable one to stay balanced and present in this world.
Recently, I read a piece by Jos Slabbert, called The Modern Taoist Sage. He began this reflection by saying “The Taoist sage consists of paradoxes that would mortify most people, but do not seem to bother him at all:
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