Triggers

Triggers
I cannot blame them
for my unhappiness.
It is not the person or place,
the smell, the sound, or the taste
or the season or the date
that triggers me,
it is me.
I may not like them,
or how they make me feel,
or the memories that emerge from them,  
but I give thanks for them.
They are blessings in disguise.
Through them I see my reactions
and where I need to heal.
My triggers ,
force me to respond
to my emotions.
Through them I grow and heal.
I release the past
and embrace the present,
all because I deal with
my triggers

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Look for the Blessings

Look for the Blessings

Look for the blessings,
my Bubby would say.
No matter what you are going through,
look for the blessings.
Life is filled with challenges,
always will be.
In the midst of them,
look for the blessings
and know you will be okay.
Things can look difficult and dangerous,
but when I look for the blessings,
I see them as gemstones,
as diamonds
not shards of glass.
Things will happen
which may seem unpleasant
but they are blessings in disguise.
I can only see them,
when I look for them.
I am looking for my blessings
Are you looking for yours? 

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Good Will Hunting Lessons

Good Will Hunting Lessons

We all have favorite films,
one of mine is Good Will Hunting,
because it taught me a few lessons.
It taught me,
"Bad things draw our attention to the good things we've overlooked."
This past year has been filled with losses
which broke my heart.
The pain helped me to reappreciate
the preciousness of life.
A dear friend lost both their legs to diabetes,
reminding me I needed to get serious
about controlling my blood sugar.
I had someone try abusing me again,
and it reminded me I was now strong enough
to stand up for myself and say no.
It reminded me of a lesson from my Bubby,
who would always say
when you can see the good in a situation,
then you know you will be okay.
There was also the therapists story about his wife’s farts
and how as much as he hated her farts,
she would love for her to be alive so he could hear them
one more time.
It reminded me that there are things
about those I love
that get on my nerves,
but I would miss them
if they were no longer here.
The last time Zoe left for a few days,
there were things I missed her saying and doing.
My ex died this year
but I would give anything
to hear her forget I did not know
the people she knew
or have her ask me for a date from 40 years ago.
It also taught me to not judge people.
People are so much more then
we see on the cover.
We need to open ourselves
and see all of who they are.
May the challenges in our life
continue to remind us how blessed
we truly are.

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Tongueless

Tongueless

As my online classes begin again this semester,
I am reminded how much of my teaching is tongueless.
or if it even is.
It made me question
how much of my learning is tongueless?
Who are my tongueless teachers?
What am I learning in the silent moments of my life?
Who am I a tongueless teacher too?
We are so dependent on words to teach.
What am I teaching by my mere presence?
Does my spiritual presence exude the presence
of the Ultimate?
Does us just being together teach something
to each other
beyond the conversation we are having?
What do we learn by just
watching each other?
As I reflect back on my life
I can remember my tongueless teachers
and I wonder who have I been
a tongueless teacher for in theirs.
Am I mindful of all the ways
and spaces
in which I am a
tongueless teacher?

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difficult Teachers

Difficult Teachers

I would love to say
all my teachers have been amazing
and a pleasure to work with.
I can’t.
Some of the most amazing teachers
have been difficult people to work with
and to learn from.
However, often times they are the ones
who teach me the most valuable
and hardest to learn lessons.
Those lessons I need to learn,
but do not want to learn.
Those lessons that require me
to explore my beliefs, experiences and expectations.
Those lessons that challenge me to become aware,
to take responsibility for my reactions,
forgive myself and others
and evolve to a space of peace and joy.
Often we find out we are their teachers as well.
We not only learn from them,
but teach them in how we work with them.
We are each teachers in peoples lives
and others are teachers in ours.
Sometimes we are the easy ones
and sometimes we are not.

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Sometimes

Sometimes

The Universe has a sense of humor.
You know those times when you say you want to work on X,
then things happen to help you work on X,
just not in the way you had hoped to work on X.
Sometimes it seems like you have lessons to learn,
that you really did not want to work on. 
Sometimes it is not the lesson you don’t want to work on,
but the teachers you do not want to work with.
Sometimes it is the people who come into your life
who you least want to work with
but have the most valuable lessons to teach you.
So what if, I looked at what I don’t like in others
and apply it to myself.
Sometimes I see aspects of myself
I did not want to see,
but doing so allows me to learn from others
and make the changes I want or need to make in my own life.
Sometimes, the lessons come how I want them and
sometimes they don’t.

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