Recently I was having a conversation with someone about how hard it is to leave a relationship. They were talking about how there never seems to be the right time or the right moment to leave. She was trying to find a way to leave this relationship without hurting the other person. It had been a long journey to arrive at the space where she realized she had done all she could and given all she had to make it work, but that this relationship had served its purpose in her life. She had learned so many valuable lessons, but the growth they had enabled each other to do was now taking them in completely different directions. She was staying in this relationship out of fear and not out of love. As she saw breaking up, it was about how she had failed. It seems like this is how most people feel when a relationship ends; there is a focus on what did I do wrong. However, when we shift the perspective and begin to give thanks for the gifts that have come through this relationship, the growth we have experienced, and the blessings we have received, it becomes easier to give thanks and let go because we are focused on the positive.
Read moreYou are worthy
This is my second time in six months to feel the need to reflect on this statement. I wrote about this in September 2013 in a blog by the same name – You are worthy. You are worthy. It is such a simple statement. Nothing complex, just three simple words - You are worthy. Yet, when I speak these words to others, I see such a powerful emotional response. It saddens me that simple expressions such as “You are loved” or “You are worthy” have the power to bring tears to people’s eyes. A simple truth “You are worthy” can help people remember that they are worthy and worthy of being loved.
The Ultimate Consciousness wants nothing more for us then for us to know we were created in the image of the Divine, which is love. God wants nothing more then for us to know we are worthy of peace and joy in our lives. So why is it that we seem to work so hard to convince the Divine and others that we do not deserve the unconditional love from which we were created.
Read moreDon't Make Assumptions
My friend Jane, who I mention quite often in my gratitude journal and who inspired our affirmation card ministry, send me a funny story which is all about what happens when we make assumptions. This is her story.
Read moreMy friend, Ingrid, and I made these candleholders. We made 6 in total. They are put together like building blocks with glass vases, bowls, plates etc. to get the desired affect and then glued to stay in place. We’d been collecting glassware from second-hand shops for a while and it took nearly a whole day to make the 6.
We decided to give the three largest to Patience’s Mum, Sylvia, for Christmas, as they looked great in a cluster.
Tapping into your Divine Wisdom
n my work with others as a spiritual partner, I so often hear people say things like, “I tell my children that all the time” or “I say that to my friends all the time.” We have internal wisdom we have learned over time and been taught by those who came before us. We so willingly share it with others, but when it comes to our own lives, we do not always tap into our own Divine wisdom.
I began thinking about the powerful lessons I have been taught by those who have come before me, learned through my own study and have also had to learn to digest and embody in my own life. This list is those things that I strive to remember each day and the nuggets of wisdom I share with my inner child when she needs to hear them, and sometimes when she does not.
Read moreTaking a Vacation
I am taking a vacation from blogging this week to do some intense spiritual work on myself. Be back next week.
You are somebody
I was having a conversation with someone recently and they talked about how they were somebody because they were raised in the “right” school and in the “right” neighborhood. This made me wonder what if you did not go to the “right” school. What if you did not grow up in the “right” neighborhood? What if you grew up on the “wrong” side of the tracks? Does one context make you somebody and the other make you a nobody?
This whole conversation got me thinking about how much of our society is constructed in a way that we value one difference over another. As sociologist Allan Johnson argued, it is not that difference in and of itself is bad, but the valuation of one difference over another. The contexts of our life (where we go to school, work, grew up, etc.) should have nothing to do with our value as a human being. Society may have constructed beliefs that one is better then the other, but that does not make it true. It is only true if you agree it is true.
Read moreThe Top 10 Read Blogs of 2013
It seems as if no matter where I am online at this time of year, I am finding someone’s top ten list of something on their sites. So I thought it might be fun to look at what have been the top 10 blogs of this year and repost the links here for your perusal. These are the top 10 blogs from my three areas: Inspiritual Reflections, The Zenful Kitchen, and Stirring my Spiritual Waters. It will be interesting to see if any of them are still on the list at the end of 2014. So in reverse order, here are the 10 most read blog entries of 2013.
Read moreEmbracing Your Inner Wisdom
I came across a quote recently by Wendell Berry from The Unforeseen Wilderness: Kentucky’s Red River Gorge. He wrote, “The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only by a spiritual journey, a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling and joyful, by which we arrive at the ground of our own feet, and learn to be at home. It is a journey we can make only by the acceptance of mystery and of mystification – by yielding to this condition that what we have expected is not there.”
Have you ever had one of those experiences that turned out to be far more then what you expected? A colleague of mine tells the story about going out to pick cranberries. She had walked this trail many times before in her life. As she tells the story, she found herself becoming tangled in her inner mind and emotions.
Read moreThe Sunshine Award
Dear Readers,
This morning, I was nominated for the Sunshine Award by Hope, Honor, and Happiness. I thank God for this blessing and Ariffa as well for nominating me! Thank you so much, Ariffa!
So, one of the rules of this award is to tell you ten things about myself. So, here I go!
- I am good at time management skills. For example, if I have 30 days to read a book, I divide the number of pages by 29, then read that many pages per day. This way I have one day off should something arise.
Tis the Season to be Defiant
It has been a while since I have preached or even written a Christmas message. I try not to because for me there more then one Christmas. There is the commercial secular Christmas, the religious Christmas with its story about the birth of Jesus, the cultural Christmas, which has its own ways of being celebrated around the world, and the one I personally celebrate – the defiant Christmas. My celebration of the defiant Christmas was inspired by a Christmas card I once say hanging on a professor’s door. The outside of the cover had a brightly shining star surrounded by darkness, an evergreen tree surrounded by trees without leaves and then there was a child wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger in a messy stable. The inside of the card said, “Wishing you a defiant Christmas.” While something about the card resonated with me, I knew I did not fully understand its meaning.
Read moreTime, Discovery, and Patience
Have you ever had the privilege of watching something transform before your eyes. Perhaps you did not see this transformation immediately, but slowly and over time. This morning, I was reading a selection from Mark Neepo’s book The Book of Awakening. In his reflection for today, he wrote:
Read moreI recently learned that the first form of pencil was a ball of lead. Having discovered that lead, if scratched, would leave markings, people then wrestled with large chunks of the stuff in an attempt to write. Through the work of many, the chunks were eventually shaped into a useable form that could fit the hand. The discovery became a tool.
I am humbled to confess after a lifetime of relationship that love is no different. Be it a lover or a friend or a family member, the discovery of closeness appears in our life like a ball of lead – something that is wrestled with, will leave markings by which we can understand each other.
But this is only the beginning. The work of love is to shape the stuff of relationships into a tool that fits our hands. With each hardship faced, with each illusion confirmed, with each trespass looked at and owned, another piece of the chunk is whittled and love begins to become a sacred tool.
When truth is held in compassionate hands, the sharpness of love becomes clear and not hurtful.
Getting to know you
It was years ago now, but Julie Andrews sang a song in the movie The King and I called Getting to Know You. It is a song that she is singing to her students about how they have enriched her life. However, what if we were to sing that song to ourselves. What if we made this song about getting to know ourselves for who we are?
Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say
What is my intent?
Everything we say and do in our lives is about choice. Our thoughts, words, and behaviors are all actions. It is through these actions that we create our stories, our belief systems, our perceptions of others, and contribute to others engagement in our dream and the dream of the planet, as don Miguel Ruiz argues. . The dream of the planet is “What Toltecs call the combined energetic structure of beliefs, rules and concepts that all the humans on our planet simultaneously dream and project onto our conjoined reality.” (Rosenthal, 2005, p. 321)
Read moreReplace Your But's
It never ceases to amaze me how God hears and answers prayers. Several years ago, I experienced a change in my life that caused me to really evaluate my life. It became clear to me that I was going to have to make some changes in my life. One of the things I was praying about was whether or not to continue writing a column for a local newspaper. I told God, if I am supposed to continue doing this, then please let me know. Send me some sign that my writing this column is really making a difference. Let me know that somebody is actually reading it. Let me know that this is still one of those things that you are calling me to do.
Read moreEnlightenment
Italo Calvino said: The more enlightened our houses are, the more their walls ooze ghosts.” So what enables us to become enlightened and why, or does this, create an oozing of ghosts? To become enlightened is to develop the ability to give spiritual or intellectual insight to self, and some would say to others. Being enlightened is about being present. it is about developing the spiritual practice of releasing our attachment to the material world and all things which seek to cling to us or to which we seek to cling. It is about becoming in tune with all human experience, which enables one to understand our connection to all of life and humanity.
Perhaps that is why this image was selected to go with this quote. One can look at this house and see it as empty and free of anything which might challenge us to become attached materialistically. At the same time, one can look at this house and see life being restored, an air conditioner, fresh air circulating through, rugs to be laid out. Whichever way we choose to look at this house and experience it is about us. We are free to determine our own lives and our own reality. This image is nothing more then an image. What we see in it and how we experience it can affect our understanding of reality. Like with anything else in life, we can experience things in a way that cause our understanding of reality to expand and contract. It is like breathing, our lungs expand and contract as we inhale and exhale.
Read moreSpiritual Friends, Partners, and Counselors
I rarely write an informational column, but lately I have felt confused by the titles which people are giving me, others, and themselves about what we do in life. In my life, I have spiritual friends and my spiritual partner, but not a spiritual counselor. I may need one at some point in my life, but not at the present.
I love having my spiritual friends and spiritual partners and have had several over the decades. They are both wonderful, but very different. My spiritual friends care about me deeply. They worry about me, especially when I am going through, but they have a hard time being neutral or not expressing their opinion about the choices I am facing. While I love my spiritual friends, there are times that in my own journey, I need to share with someone who does not feel in vested in me making one choice over another.
That is why I have always loved my relationship with my own spiritual partners.
Read moreWhat story are you creating?
don Miguel Ruiz once said, "You know the word 'Toltec' means artist. When I talk about Toltec, I’m really talking about the entire humanity, because we all are artists. Even if we don’t have the awareness, we’re always creating. The biggest art that we humans create is a story – the story of ourselves, the story of our life. It looks so real, and we live in that story... We give a meaning to every single word that we use. We give our personal power to knowledge... and knowledge creates a massive piece also, which is the main character of our story. Which means it creates us, what believe we are..."
Read moreHave you been burglarized?
In the last month, two people I know have had their homes burglarized. Sadly, for both of them, this was not the first time, nor will it most likely be the last time. Fortunately, for both of them, they were unharmed and/or not home. However, they did lose possessions and one of them reported that their basement was a mess. So what would you do if someone burglarized your home? My guess is you would call the police and report that you had been burglarized.
Now, what would you do if someone broke into your life and robbed you of your blessings? What would you do if the person who was burglarizing your life was you? We may have limited control over whether someone breaks in and burglarizes our physical homes; however, we do have control over how we burglarize our own lives.
Read moreReplace Fear with Love
I have long believed that the opposite of love is fear and as a friend once told me fear is false evidence appearing real. Love is real, fear is not. Fear just appears real. Yet fear is like a self propagating weed which seems to take over an entire yard. It continues to keep coming back until you are able to dig them up by their roots and permanently remove them.
The soil in which our fear is planted is in our mind. Our mind is like fertile ground where these weeds exist until we have stalked them down to their roots and removed them. We have a choice as to whether we plants weeds of fear or seeds of love in our minds. When we are impeccable with our word, which is the first agreement in Toltec Wisdom, then our mind is no longer fertile ground for weeds of fear; it is only fertile for seeds of love.
Read moreHolding onto Stress
I received this forward a few days ago and wanted to share it with all of you. Not sure of the original source ...
A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience with a raised glass of water. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'.. She fooled them all ..... "How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile. Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
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