The process journal is to be a space for mental and emotional clearing. It is a space to write my insights throughout this journey.
Read moreOne of the things I will be doing over the next 28 days is keeping a joy journal. At least once a day I will be writing about the joyful, magical or great moments in the day. I will be journaling about experiences, writings, images, etc.
Read moreThe goal for today was to plan this great adventure to some place we want to go and go there. my great adventure is to go ride the ferries in New York state. I love ferries. We were to write about what permits us or doesn’t permit us to have what we want right now. We were to write down what the world of our wealth is right now. She also suggested we right about how the state of your birth, the feelings of your future, and eh wanderings of today affect and show who you are. Write what you know about rebirth in living. Write what your soulful self wants you to know.
So if I were really going to have this grand adventure, I would do one of two things.
Read moreI have been thinking quite a bit about this whole notion of life, birth, and rebirth. Life for me is the entirely of my journey from birth to death. Birth is the moment I came into this world, until then and since then I was and am a work in process. For me, the time in between birth and death I am in a constant state of rebirth, whether it be conscious or unconscious. Every moment of every day there are countless cells in my being being regenerated, so physically at the end of the day I am not the same person I was when I woke up that morning and I am not the same person I was when I went to bed the night before.
The same is true in every other aspect of my self, every movement that I make in my life consciously or unconsciously which takes me to that higher place of spiritual evolution is about my being reborn
Read moreIf this were the last day of my death, and I knew it, I think I would make a point of being with those people who are nearest and dearest to me and sharing stories of love and gifts that I would want them to have. I would want the opportunity to say goodbye to them in my own way and on my own terms. I would not want it to be somber, but a time of celebration. I would eat and drink whatever I wanted and throw all caution to the wind. I am reminded of this scene from the movie Chocolat and how the old woman celebrated her last birthday. That is what I would do if it were my last day. the practical side of me would make sure I sent an email and an excel file to my department chair so she knew how students were doing, I would let Zoe know what I wanted for my homegoing, and I would write a final reflection for Inspiritual telling everyone thank you for being part of my ride. And of course, I would leave Zoe a things to do list, which she will definitely procrastinate in doing
Read moreAs I reflect on this period of my childhood, I remember having this sense, as a child, that I was not fully appreciated for who I was and what I was growing to become. I rarely felt fully seen or fully appreciated by the members of my family. While there are many experiences of joy during this period, it was also a time where I went from feeling as if I were an integral part of my family to feeling as if I were not as much a part of my family as my brothers. There was this clear sense of otherness that developed as I was growing up, of not fitting in. Yet at the same time, there was this fear of being abandoned, rejected, and set aside. There was also this fear that if I was abandoned then something bad would happen like when I was sexually abused by my dentist. What I did not realize was how that experience also moved me to a place of fighting for my dignity and the dignity of others. For example, in nursery school there was this boy who tried to kiss me. I said no. So he peed on me.
Read moreThis is a list of the endings in my life and where I was at when they were happening.
Read moreHmm, I am sitting here wondering if I have done anything kind today. I am sure I have, but that I am not even aware of it is interesting. When I asked my wife if I did anything kind for her today, as she is the only I have seen, she looked at me like I am crazy. She said, hmm, well obviously you have kept me on track with my school work and kept me out of panic city and that in and of itself is worth a lot of money. When I stopped and thought more about it, I began to see all the little things I do each day not just for my wife, but for our kitties, friends, clients, students, etc. I guess it is just such an inherent part of who I am that I am not always mindful of it anymore. So am I not mindful of it because it is not the present, this morning is the past, or am I just not being present. Zoë can get pretty stressed and off track with her studies, and so she asked me to put a daily schedule together for her as I am the just do it gurl.
Read moreThe minute I saw the exercises for today, my brain went to this poem I wrote a few years ago called, I am enough. I thought this was a great place to start with the negative messages of the past and flip them over. so I decided to insert lines in italics that were the flip or the reinforcer when they were already positive.
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