For the last several weeks, our Wednesday night group has been listening to a five-hour workshop by Pema Chodrom about releasing fear and living with courage and compassion. In it, she has talked about how Bodhisattva training encourages us to give up our separateness and act upon our deep connections with others. Over the course of these conversations, we have focused on how similar we are to each other. Yes, we have things about us that are unique, but we have far more in common with each other then we often times realize. As we practice being compassionate, we begin the process of releasing our resentments and cravings, and opening our minds to new relationships, courage, and compassion for others. Chödrön demonstrates ways to practice the four limitless qualities of loving — kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. Last week, we did a meditational practice where we began by breathing in relief for suffering for someone we were close to and exhaling peace and healing in their lives. We could have actually started with ourselves. However, in her workshop she began with those we would want to pray for, then to more neutral parties in our life, and finally with those whom we would resist praying for in our lives.
Read moreCompassion and Anger
Have you ever found yourself getting angry or irritated at someone? One of the things I learned about anger, and any emotion, is that it can only stay alive for so long on its own. So when we stay angry or irritated for a long period, it is because at some level we have made a commitment to keeping it alive. Did you know an emotion has a natural life of about 30 seconds? If it lasts longer than that, it is because we are choosing to keep it alive. So when we stay angry all day, or for years, it is because we are choosing to stay angry. There is nothing wrong with a feeling, however, it is important for a feeling not to control us or become our identity.
The other night someone asked me if I ever got angry.
Read moreBe Still
As many of you know, the theme for March has been about being present and the theme for April is about compassion. This week, I decided to talk about something which blends these two spiritual practices together. Being still is about being present and sometimes being present means that we have to be compassionate with ourselves as well as others.
Those who know me, know that being still is not something I do easily. I am generally always doing something. However, I am intentional about taking time in the morning to meditate, sit, and be still!
Read moreHarry Chapin, Ian Colvin and Me.
A few months back, I remembered reading a story about the importance of being present. It was a column in The Huffington Post by Ian Colvin, where he began with a story of a dialogue between him and his son. It started like this:
"Why were you looking down when I was skating tonight, Daddy?"
"I wasn't looking down, buddy," I answered. "I was watching you."
"But I saw you looking down, too," my son responded. "Why were you looking down?"
"Busted!" my husband laughed.
And I was busted; I had been reading and responding to work emails on my BlackBerry during my son's skating lesson.
Was I proud? No. But I was proud that I had made it home from work on time to take my son to skating; something I hadn't been able to do the week before.
Yet, what's worse, not being there, or not being present in the moment?
Read moreOne at a Time
Spending this month thinking about being present has helped me to not only think about it, but also be in it. It has helped me remember the things I can do in my life to bring calm and peace into my life, especially on those days that are overflowing with things to do and have the potential to be stressful and chaotic. One of the things the writing of Thich Nhat Hanh reminded me of is to “Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” That quote reminded me that everywhere I am and go is Holy Ground and every place I am is where I am supposed to be. As Hafiz once wrote, The Place you are right now, God circled on a map for you.” When I remember that where I am is a calm, peaceful, holy place the Ultimate created just for me, I can feel the stress leave my body and the calm fill it. How can one experience anything but that peace which surpasses understanding while standing and walking on Holy Ground.
Read moreThe Gift of Presence
Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is our presence. As I shared in this month’s newsletter, Recently, I came across a story about practicing being present in a book by Sandy Boucher, author of Opening the Lotus: A Woman's Guide to Buddhism. She wrote about the practice of being present from a Buddhist perspective. “The word 'practice' covers everything that Buddhists do in their efforts to achieve clear understanding and benefit other beings... Last week I spoke with a Buddhist friend who had just had a baby. ‘How is it caring for a little girl?' I asked. She replied without hesitation, 'It's twenty-four hours a day of practice.' She was being called upon to pay attention to, and to act with compassionate caring toward this tiny human being constantly throughout day and night. And she was attempting to do it, not by rote but, with full presence of mind and spirit. This is Buddhist practice."
Read moreHere and Now
When we talk about being present, it sounds easier than it is. It is not that it is difficult, it is that we start off in the present and then begin our time travels as we tell our story. For example, the first question I ask when we begin our love and inspiration gatherings is how are you doing today and/or what are you dealing with today? So often, what happens is someone may begin with what they are dealing with today. However, then we travel into the past to hear the explanation of how the person got into this situation or what they have learned from the past. Sometimes we travel to the future and talk about what the person would like to see happen next or what they would like the outcome to be. I laugh as I write this because I know that there have been times in our gatherings that I have done my own share of time traveling and not being present. I would like to say that I was not as present as I could be, but one is either present or not.
Read morePied Beauty
Recently, I was challenged to see the beauty in a series of things mentioned in a poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins, called Pied Beauty. For those who are not familiar with it, and for those who are, here is the poem.
Glory be to God for dappled things –
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced – fold, fallow, and plough;
And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.
Read moreBeauty in Tears
All this month I have been thinking about and reflecting on the practice of beauty. I have practiced seeing the beauty in everyone I meet, every situation I am in, and every place I go. The other day I was having a conversation with a dear friend who is going through a challenging time. I had to stop and ask myself where is the beauty in an illness, which makes someone suffer and feel as if the Divine has abandoned them. When I prayed with her, I was somehow about to express all that was in her heart and that she had not been able to find the words for in her own prayers. While I have never been in my friend’s place, I could empathize by thinking about the times I had felt broken, forsaken, and abandoned. It was during this time that I discovered a simple truth.
Read moreAfter the animals leave
This month, I have challenged each of us to awaken to the beauty in life and its experiences. Perhaps that is why I was drawn to this quote by Emily Dickinson who wrote: “Beauty is not caused. It is.” As we focus on our connection to the Divine and the presence of the Divine in us, we are better able to appreciate beauty in everything we see, touch, and experience. As John Keats's observed in Ode on a Grecian Urn: 'Beauty is truth, truth beauty.' As we live in the truth of who we are as spiritual beings brought here by the Ultimate, we can begin to recognize not only the beauty within ourselves but all of life. Each time we see beauty, we see a symbol of the Divine. Every time we encounter truth, we encounter a symbol of the Creative Spirit. Every day of our lives, we are invited to experience the beauty in each day.
Read moreSimplify and Declutter
When I was in seminary, I was introduced to the writing of Dorothee Soelle. The first of her books I was exposed to was Thinking About God. Since then I have had the chance to watch her writing evolve and as it has, it has helped me to evolve in my own life and journey. Her more recent book, The Silent Cry has influenced my own approach to the spiritual practice of leading a more simplistic and clutter free life.
So often, when people reflect on asceticism, they tend to think about this sense of denial and strict discipline of all indulgences. As Soelle reflected on this, it was not asceticism to the point of denial of all things, but the development of boundaries in our life, which prevent our soul from being devoured by clutter in our life. It is about finding balance in our lives as we work on simplifying and decluttering our lives. The impoverishment of our lives of all that feeds us is not healthy. At the same time, an overabundance can also impoverish the soul. It is hard for us to develop any kind of meaningful relationship with anything in our lives when we lack boundaries and balance.
Read moreNINE WAYS OF OBSERVING
I was first exposed to the writings of a woman who goes by the name of Starhawk when I began reading about ecofeminism. Her writings have always intrigued me because they challenged me to pay attention to the physical landscape that surrounds me in new ways. In one of her books, which I read almost 10 years ago, she outlined nine ways of observing the spiritual in the physical. My meditations this week, have led me back to this book and the lessons it taught me about paying attention. So I thought I would share a few excerpts from her book this week.
Read moreLook at the View
Anna Quindlen in her book, A Short Guide to a Happy Life, wrote, “He stared out at the ocean and said, "Look at the view, young lady. Look at the view."
And every day, in some little way, I try to do what he said. I try to look at the view. That's all. Words of wisdom from a man with not a dime in his pocket, no place to go, nowhere to be. Look at the view. When I do what he said, I am never disappointed.”
How often do we take the time in our lives to look at the view? How often do we take the time to really see what is right in front of us. I know I am so often guilty in my own life of not seeing the view. Sometimes I focus on all the things that I have yet to accomplish today that I forget to take the time to look at the view. I have been trying this month to take my own challenge to notice something new every day.
Read moreThe Word is Ours
This quote from Lao Tsu brought me back to my childhood and all of a sudden, I can hear myself as a child singing, “She’s got the whole world in her hands. She’s got the whole wide world in her hands. She’s got the whole wild world in her hands. She’s got the whole world in her hands.” Whenever my Bubby and I would sing this, she would remind me the Ultimate did not have a sex or a gender. The Divine could be male, female, and everything in between. Because of this, she would say, we could sing it she or he.
Perhaps more importantly, she would always use this song to remind me that when I kept the Ultimate close to me, then I would never lack for anything. She would remind me that the Divine would provide me with everything and anything I needed in my life and that I would never lack anything essential to my purpose in life.
Read moreIt’s pay attention time!
When I was pastoring, one of the least listened to parts of the service was the announcements. One of the young girls in the congregation came to talk to me about how disrespectful the adults were being. I asked her if she had any ideas on how to get the adults to pay attention and she said yes. The next Sunday, this powerful 7 year old got up in front of the congregation and loudly proclaimed, “It’s pay attention time!” The adults immediately paid attention and then she explained that announcements were not a time to talk to their neighbors, but a time to pay attention to the announcements. It has been years since she taught this lesson and took over that part of worship, but I still remember her telling everyone, “it’s pay attention time!”
Read moreOut of the Shadows
About this time last year, I was reminded of a story I had heard once about how the difference between evolving and revolving is an R. When we keep doing or believing the same thing repeatedly, then we are not evolving. It is as if we are trapped in one of those revolving doors, which we often see in department stores. We are just revolving through life and not evolving.
Part of this revolving is our inability to put closure to things in our life. Whether it is putting closure to an old job or an old relationship, if we do not put closure to the feelings and situation, then it follows us with us into the next situation or relationship. Sometimes we need to put closure to some of the beliefs we grew up with in our lives. As we grow and evolve, what we believe also changes. These beliefs only have power over us as long as we agree they are true and give them power in our lives. When we realize they no longer need to reside in our minds, we can say to them, “you are no longer true” and put closure to that part of our belief system.
Read moreShare the Peace
As we move closer to the holiday season, people’s lives tend to become increasingly hectic. We love the holidays because they are a time filled with presents, food, and time with friends and family and for some people even time off from work. However, sometimes this time with family is not always filled with peace. I was reminded of this recently as an associate shared with me how the holidays are her house quickly turn into a time for arguments and sometimes have been so stressful that she has left and come home. We cannot enjoy the peace of the holiday season when we are arguing with each other and pressing each other’s buttons.
Read moreP.E.A.C.E.
Recently, I was rereading a reflection by Iyanla Vanzant and she listed Peace as an acronym for Please Excuse All Crazy Experiences. We all have “crazy” experiences in our lives. By “crazy” I mean anything which causes us to be extremely enthusiastic or extremely angry, irritated, frustrated, agitated etc. Crazy can include all those experiences that take us to the extreme from being crazy about shoes (i.e. I know someone that has over 300 pairs of shoes and keeps buying them) to that place of extreme agitation and anger where one is in need of therapeutic care to help restore balance. Sometimes we have those experiences in our life, which can easily pull us off balance and make us feel “crazy”, such as pain, anger, loneliness, being tired, hunger, and sickness. I know when I am extremely tired, due to the lack of sleep I am experiencing, I have to work intentionally at staying focused and centered and am constantly asking the Ultimate to give me energy to balance out my tired.
Read moreWhat is your status?
As many people know today is World AID’s Day. So the question I want to ask each of you today is “What is your status?” Are you positive or are you negative? I don’t want to discount the experiences of those who are living with this virus. I know that living with this virus affects every aspect of your life, just as much as being whatever racial or ethnic identity you are, or sexual orientation you are, or what class you are, or what sex you are, or what gender you are. I know it affects your life in ways that those of us who have a medical diagnosis of HIV- may not understand.
But what I want to know is this, what is your status when it comes to HIV/AIDS?
Read moreOpening up!
As most of you know, I had a near death experience on November 1, 2014 and have spent quite a bit of time the last 10 days processing everything that has happened in my life. I have learned a number of lessons along the way. One of them is about how opening up is an act of service. One of the most significant aspects of my healing has been my active choice to be transparent about what is happening in my life and jumping into the blessings, which this significant change has brought me. The only way for me to grow in my own personal journey was to work and climb to the next level.
This morning was a real test of my willingness to do that.
Read more