Eating the Frog

Eating the Frog

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
except my wife who was reading to me
about the little things people do
which make her laugh
like hiding wrapping paper
in a garment bag,
or your printer in furniture
or empty cardboard rolls in a gift bag
so no one can see them.
I smile as I realize that I have never wanted
or cared about things like this that I consider
unimportant.
I have always believed in eating the frog first,
the task which I least want to do.
it is that thing which you have to do
but would rather not do
and so as a result it never gets done.
Today it was a conversation I did not want to have,
but when the opportunity presented itself

I ate the frog.
That desire to avoid those things I do not want to do
can be like invisible hands holding me back.
But when I let it go
and eat the frog,
I free myself to enjoy all the little things in life
and all the other things I want to do
but prevented myself from doing
because I had not yet
eaten the frog.

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My Teachers

My Teachers

When I think about my best teachers
I first think about the ones
I loved taking classes with,
those that touched my heart
and who allowed me to know
I was loved and respected.
They may have been some of my best teachers
academically,
but some of my best teachers in life
were the people I have not liked at all.
They were the ones I found difficult,
the ones who got on my last nerve.
and the ones who I struggled to find
anything nice in them.
The reality is in the school of life,
they were some of my best teachers.
They are the ones who pushed me
out of my comfort zone
and helped me grow and evolve.
They registered me for classes
I never would have taken.
They taught me lessons
I would never have learned on my own.
I am grateful for all my teachers,
the ones who I wanted to learn from and grow with
and the ones who forced me
to step outside my comfort zone
and grow.

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Blessed and Highly Flavored

Blessed and Highly Flavored

I always tell people
I am blessed and highly flavored.
I know I am blessed.
I have been given so much.
Sometimes I have immediately seen the beauty
in God’s gift to me.
Other times,
I have to be like a chef
and work with what I have been given
and allow the flavors to develop and bloom.
The blessed comes easy,
but the flavored comes from my commitment
and my willingness to work through all circumstances
to find the beautiful while facing difficulties.
It is through the journey that I find the beauty
in the most difficult of times.
The blessed comes from God’s commitment to me
and the flavored comes from my commitment to God.
Together it allows me to know
I am blessed and highly flavored.

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Wasting Time

Wasting Time

Sitting at stop lights (when I drove),
sorting through junk mail,
looking for that thing I cannot find,
waiting in line,
sitting on hold,
waiting for and riding the paratransit bus,
waiting for drs,
waiting for the microwave,
or the air fryer
these are just a few of the ways
I have wasted time in my life.
Moments here and there
that I am sitting
and doing nothing.
Just wasting time.
When you lose so many people in your life
you remember how precious each moment is.
I have a choice,
I remembered,
about how I use that time.
I can continue to waste it
or I can use it like a precious gift
and take those empty moments
and fill them with prayer,
with love notes I text to friends and family,
read or listen to a few pages in a book
meditate,
exercise,  
journal,
or perform a random act of kindness.
in those seconds or minutes
of time and fill them with
an appreciation of our time here
instead of just letting it pass.

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Give It A Try

Give It A Try

Give it a try,
he said, a pupil of Gurdjieff.
That is what amen means,
give it a try.
What if we committed to
giving it a try
every time we said Amen.
It is what we say at the end of
prayers and statements which which we agree.
Do we think about
the word when we say it
and the meaning behind it
or is it just what we do out of habit.
What if we worked on being conscious
and paid attention to our amens
and then committed to
giving a try
to that which we said amen to.

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Find Your Hallelujah

Find Your Hallelujah

Do you know what it is like
to find your hallelujah?
Do you know what it is like
to be filled with so much delight
in your heart, mind, body, and
everything and everyone in your life
that it feels so great to be alive
and you just want to scream
it's good to be alive.
I had had those moments in my life
and they are so hard to explain,
but you know when you have them
and others can tell
just by looking at you
that you found your hallelujah.
Never give up when life gets tough,
because your hallelujah is coming.
Sometimes those moments are bigger then others
but they are still there
and you can still experience them
and others will be moved when they see
you find yours.
It is the challenging times,
that make you appreciate those moments,
that you just have to scream
hallelujah.
Go find yours
and never stop working towards
and living for the next chance to
find your hallelujah.

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Forgiving

Forgiving
I have been looking for
and praying my way through
all I am feeling
and fearing
until the journey bought me to
forgiveness.
The practice which enables us to forgive
ourselves and others
and to be forgiven by God.
Being forgiving is not always easy.
The hardest is to start.
Start.
Start by forgiving yourself.
Continue by forgiving your family.
Expand your practice by forgiving your friends and all those you know.
Learn to forgive without boundaries within our own nation.
Perhaps now we need to forgive across political lines.
and learn how to forgive other nations and the world.
We can no longer wait for others to begin the forgiveness,
We need to be brave and forgiving,
and remember the brave know how to forgive.
Those who are not brave,
the cowards,
they do not know how to be
forgiving.

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Consistency Compounds

Consistency Compounds

Consistency compounds
John Maxwell said.
Those words taught me
no matter what I do
I have to be consistent about doing it.
It is why I have a daily spiritual routine
that I practice daily.
Spring, summer, fall or winter,
I write in my journals.
I set a goal,
and then commit to achieving it.
I consistently work on it.
Whether it is lowering my blood sugar,
losing weight,
gaining new team members,
working on my book,
or self care,
if I work on it consistently,
the ability and rewards compound,
My consistency compounds
reminding me
there is nothing I cannot do
and cannot achieve.

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Uniting

Uniting

I am so tired of this election cycle.
I remember growing up feeling as if
we were the United States of America.
We didn’t always agree with each other,
but we transitioned smoothly
and nobody hated each other
or dreaded what would happen
if the other candidate won.
This election is making me look at myself
and how I see the world
and sadly I no longer see
one America,
but two.
I see unification
and at the same time
I see division.
I pray for peace,
regardless of the results,
but live with the understanding
that no matter who is elected,
people will feel hurt and scared.
I am tired of the lack of respect,
the rudeness over everything
and the effect it is having on the world.

What I want now,
more than ever,
is to experience
connections without fear and concern,
conversations without politics
and life without tension.

It is why I love Pampered Chef parties right now,
it is not about politics,
but about recipes,
products,
ingredients
and time with family and friends.
It is about uniting, not dividing
and talking about tacos, not troubles.
What is uniting you with others
this election cycle?

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Treasure Hunt

Treasure Hunt

Are you ready for the treasure hunt?
That was the message I had been given
for the pastor who did not want me in his church.
He didn’t understand the message
or why I had said it.
He told me I could not hear from God
because of who I loved.
Yet here I was at this place
knowing I was not yet to leave
and ready to learn from a guest speaker
talking about the challenges in the church.
Then he said it.
The biggest challenge is that we are not ready for
the treasure hunt.
We are not ready to look for the treasures
in our own congregation.
We are not ready to see the treasures
in those we deem to be the least of thee.
We just are not ready.
Not only are we not ready,
but we are so afraid of what we might find
that we throw the buried treasure out.
We are just not ready
for the treasure hunt.
Our prejudices keep us from seeing
the treasure in others.
When we open our hearts and mind and soul
we allow ourselves
to look for and find
the treasures
where we least expected them
to be buried.  
The question is simple
are you ready for
the treasure hunt.
The treasures are thre in front of you
waiting to be found.

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Being Forgiving

Being Forgiving

Forgive them father, for they know not what they do.
For give us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
We all make mistakes,
we all have done something to someone
at some time
in some way
that have caused others to suffer.
Not only have we suffered because of others,
but we have contributed to the suffering of others.
Let me forgive others,
because I would want others to forgive me.
Let me forgive myself,
and ask for forgiveness from others.
Let us be forgiving,
so we can ease God into those spaces
where we previously stored hurt and anger.
Let us be forgiving,
so we can heal ourselves
and contribute to the healing of others.

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Write About This

Write About This

Write about this,
that is what my friend Laura said
as she sent me this photograph.
There is a poem in here for you.
I think there may be several,
The words I heard were
can you see it.
God is doing its’ thing here,
can you see it.
What I saw was the heart in the air.
the love that was coming out of nowhere.
How often do we not see it?
How often do we miss the miracles happening before us?
Are we present enough in this moment
to sense it, feel it, see it, hear it,
be mindful of it?
If Laura had not been present in that moment
that photo would not exist.
It does and as we stare at it
what can we see.
What it says to us today
is not the same as it will be tomorrow.
It's like reading a scripture.
It can speak to you differently each time you read it
because it is never the same life twice.
If we are not present,
we will never see it
and unlike what Laura saw
not all things can be captured
in a photograph
for her to tell me
write about this.

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Hungry

Hungry

Have you ever been hungry,
but no food seems to satisfy you,
not even your favorite comfort food?
Have you ever been so tired and stressed
that all you want to do is cry?
Those are the moments
when I need God the most,
the times that what I am really hungry for
is God’s love and understanding.
What I really need is to have a good cry
and let the stress, anxiety and frustration go.
It is in those moments that need to remember the basic
to let go and let God.
I need to remember that in my hunger for God,
comes a fullness,
no physical food can give me.
I need to remember that
it in my most vulnerable moments with God
that I feel most at peace.
I need to remember that
it is in the depths of poverty
that I feel the richness of being
the royal princess I am.
It is in these moments that I remember a song
let the weak say they are strong
and let the poor say they are rich.
My strength, my food, my peace,
all of it comes from my hunger -
my hunger for a deep and abiding relationship
with the one who hears and answers
my prayers
and keeps me from feeling hungry.

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Forgiftedness

Forgiftedness

I forgive myself for not remembering who taught me
forgiveness is about forgiftedness.
My forgiftedness
is about giving myself the gift of peace.
it is about giving myself the gift of
control over my life.
it is about taking my power back.
Forgiftedness is about me choosing peace
over the need to retaliate.
Forgiftedness is about me focusing on
my own healing and well being and
not enabling past hurts to continue to hurt me.
Forgiftedness is a gift I learn to accept
and then continue to learn from and about.
I have a choice of forgiving and forgifting
or living with a need for resentment and retaliation.
Forgiftedness is a choice.
Each moment I choose whether
to gift myself with peace or not.

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Welcome

Welcome

Embrace it.
Welcome it.
That’s what Bubby would say.
Whatever the Ultimate sent to me,
welcome it,
she would say.
There is a blessing in it.
It was part of a teaching,
when you can see the blessing
in any situation,
know you will be okay.
I wish I could say
my spirit is always welcoming,
but I am working on it.
Sometimes I want to avoid the pain,
I want to avoid the struggle,
but Bubby always taught me
welcome, do not avoid.
It is about me being open
to the mysteries of life
and of the Ultimate.
It doesn’t mean I like it,
but I welcome it,
sit with it,
embrace it
and grow with it
Then I give thanks
and make sure
the doormat still says
welcome.

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Teaching

Teaching

Oh, you’re a teacher?
What do you teach?
What I mention are the fields
or the courses,
things like intro to women’s studies,
intro to disability studies,
or global gender issues.
Those are the courses,
well a few of them,
but in all honesty,
it is not really what I teach.
What I teach,
at least try to teach
is how to quest.
Questing is about traveling into the unknown.
It is about a journey to learn, grow and evolve.
Sometimes it is difficult and dangerous
because you have to learn things that
challenge your belief system.
Questing is about leaving home
literally and figuratively.
it is about allowing your brain and soul
to travel places it has not been before.
It is about asking questions
and going where you have to go for answers.
It is about not stopping,
Not giving up
even if you fall. 
There is a thrill in the quest
as you see your horizons broaden
as your vision expands
as you watch yourself overcoming
and releasing the fear that holds you back.
Questing is about questioning.
Questioning that you know it all.
Questioning that you are enough.
Discovering in the quest
that you are enough,
always have been
and always will be,
as long as you continue
on the quest.

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Interfacing

Interfacing

Anyone who knows me well,
knows I spend hours a day,
most of my days,
on the computer.
I use it to teach,
to build my business,
to help others heal,
to read,
to write,
to grade,
to do so many things.
Yet, how often do I give thanks
for the computer,
the phone,
the kindle,
and other forms of technology
which keep me connected
and independent.
Do I say good morning,
good night
or even say thanks or
I love you.
What if I did?
What if I looked at all the technology
in my life and treated it as if it is as
important to me as it is.
What else do I not give thanks for
that serves and supports me?
I sit here,
writing this on Labor Day,
while my technology is laboring for me
and allowing me to labor for others/
It has led me to think about
how I need to do something for it
and show it I care.
Maybe I should think about it
and give them names
and change the way we interface.

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All of Me

All of Me

I get so tired of having folks tell me
I would be prettier if
or I would feel better if
or whatever they think
would make me a better version of me.
If only I changed to fit their standards,
then I would be ok.
The reality,
well mine at least,
is that I love me just as I am.
I love all of me,
the parts I am proud of,
the parts I am working on,
and the parts that are on my
need to work on list.
Looking like X to make others happy
is about them, not me.
What is most important
is that I love all of me.
Not that I love me conditionally,
but that I love me unconditionally.
If I have to change
so you love me,
then you love the vision and fantasy of me,
you do not love me.
I cannot make you love me,
but I can choose each day
to love myself unconditionally,
not just some parts of me
but all of me.

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My Legacy

My Legacy

I always say
I cannot do anything about the legacy I inherited,
but I can do something about
the legacy I leave behind.
I hope that my life will leave
a positive impact on others.
When my life here is done,
I hope those I know
and even those I do not,
will be able to share how
I made a difference in their lives.
I hope that the values
by which I live,
the lessons I teach
in and out of the classroom,
the ways I treat others
online or face to face,
and that which I have accomplished in my life
will resonate with
and inspire others.
I hope that I leave others with a legacy
which builds on that which I inherited
and takes on its own dimension
which reflects me
and all that I was created to be
by the great I am.

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Inexplicable

Inexplicable

I still remember the day I stood there,
staring at this life size painting of two women.
La Confidence,
There was then and still is today
something inexplicable about this painting.
There is so much one can see,
so much about their relationship that is revealed
and at the very same time,
so much that is concealed.
There are so many pieces of art,
which remind me how inexplicable so much of life is.
They remind me to look for the mysteries of life.
Artists both tell and conceal the story.
They are more then just painters,
they are mystery writers
who through their gifts
create understandings and mysteries
that are inexplicable.
Sometimes I wonder if my words are like paintings.
Do they seem simple and clear,
but do they also draw one into this deeper thought,
the mystery which lies deeper within,
that becomes increasingly inexplicable,
as we unravel the thoughts which
like a sweater continue to unravel
without ever stopping.
Is all of art there to remind us
to appreciate the inexplicable
and celebrate the deepening mysteries of life.

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