This past month I have done so much thinking about imagination. I thought I had reflected on it from so many perspectives, but this week I have come to realize that I had yet to imagine the amazing people who would come into my life and touch me in ways that I could not even imagine.
So often, we hear about all the hate, violence and fear in this world. We hear about people who do things to others that cause our hearts to be heavy. It is so easy to allow the news to help us envision a world that is negative, hate filled, and beyond repair. This week, however, has served as a living testimony of the world I think you imagined when you first created us. I have experienced unconditional love and support from people I know as well as people I have never met or barely know.
Read moreI want to thank you for the gift of imagination. It comes in handy when I face a situation that is not working or not working as well as I would like it to. It is at those moments that I remember my former supervisor telling me “if you come to me with a problem, then also come to me with a solution.” Identifying the problem did not call on me to have an imagination, but coming up with a solution often times did. It meant I thought through all the logical responses and solutions to the problem and then it meant that I thought outside the box and came up with innovative ways to make something work.
My friend Eileen tells me this is one of my gifts, the ability to think outside the box. I am not sure I even realize when I am doing this, the ideas just flow out.
Read moreSo I woke up this morning hearing The Temptations singing Just my Imagination, at least the chorus in my head. I can’t remember the rest of the song, just the chorus. Oh how my imagination has always run away with me. Since I was a little girl I have had an imagination. Maybe that is why I like Anabelle, a 4 year old I met at a vending event I met a week or so ago. Her father kept telling me she had an overactive imagination and that it got her into trouble.
My imagination did as well. I remember the first time I got into trouble for my imagination. I was 6 and I remember feeling like what I had to bring to show and tell was nothing compared to what other people were bringing to show and tell. Then one day something awesome happened.
Read moreSo all this month I have been reflecting on hospitality, reading about it, writing, about it, starting conversations about it, and practicing it to the best of my ability. Others have told me I am very hospitable and that they feel the welcome and the love the minute they walk in our door. I am so grateful they feel that way. Zoe and I are so intentional about trying to create that space. We both know what it is like to not feel welcomed, to not be wanted, to be excluded, and to be told there is no room at the inn. As a result, we have been intentional about doing all we can to create an environment of love and welcoming.
Yet for whatever reason when I have sat down to journal about hospitality as it applies to my own life, what I remembered were those moments when people did something to make me feel welcomed and those times when I was not.
Read moreSo I have had to laugh at this whole notion of hospitality. I have been intentional about creating a space here at Inspiritual and in our home where all feel welcome. We have done this in part because we have all know what it felt like when we were not enough of something or too much of something to feel welcome and accepted by a movement, community, or other group. Years ago, I wrote a poem called I am enough where I spoke out about all the areas of my life I had allowed myself to feel marginalized and excluded by others words and behaviors.
I knew I was never excluded by the one who created me and has loved me my entire existence, however, there have been times when other humans have reminded me that I am on earth and not in heaven. Sometimes the rejection, the inhospitality has come in the most unexpected of places.
Read moreToday I want to give thanks for the box from my brother and his wife. I have been sitting there staring at this box for about a week now, wanting to open it, but really just wanting to sit and be with my feelings about receiving this box. See the reality is that I really do not care what is in the box; it is just that I have the box. It is that he stopped and sent me a gift. It is that he took the time to think about me and let me know I was in his thoughts. I honestly could not care about what is inside the box, I am just enjoying sitting here looking at the box.
Here I am 59 years old and my brother is 57 ½ and he and I are exchanging gifts for the first time ever. I don’t ever remember getting a gift from him as a child and I know I never got one as an adult
Read moreThank you for the gift of memory. I remember years ago reading something in Sarah Ban Breathnach’s book Simple Abundance about how one should write down five things one is grateful for before going to bed each night. She talked about how as time passes and we fill our journal with blessings, we will experience an inner shift in our reality. I am generally so tired when I go to bed that I do not do this, but it is the first thing that I do in the morning and it is an awesome way for me to begin my morning. There is nothing like starting off the morning by thanking you for all you do for me and have done in my life. It just starts my morning off with the right mindset for the rest of the day.
The funny thing is that I have been writing in my gratitude journal for so long now that I could not remember how long it has been. So this morning I checked and found out I started on December 31, 2012. So it has almost been three years. I have kept them on and off before, but this time I have managed to keep it going for three years now. I have to agree with Sarah doing so has contributed to an inner shift in my reality. Not only do I begin my day by giving thanks, but I end my day by telling my wife at least one thing she did that day which made me feel loved or for which I am grateful.
Read moreIt is funny how grace seems to pop into our conversations with people this month even when I am not expecting it to. So many of my conversations with people this month have been about our own experiences of grace and the ways it has happened to us. However, the other night at our Living the Five Agreements group, we began to talk about how we need to be a grace in other people’s lives as well. There is a line from the play The Man of La Mancha, where Don Quizote says "I just wanted to add a measure of grace to the world."
As I have thought about this line I was reminded of a song I once heard at a Mormon church, it was all about the call to add a measure of grace to the world.
Read moreThis has been one of those weeks where I have had to practice grace on myself as I took time to keep myself from getting sick and cutting a cold off before it had time to develop. I gave myself permission to take time away from work to spend time with friends and do something fun with Zoe on her day off, now that she actually has them. I forgave myself for not getting my blogs written on grace and practiced grace as I could with my students and others in my life.
My friend DeeDee talks about how so often people will say “You didn’t have to do that” when you do something for them. Then she or her friend would say “But aren’t you glad that I did.”
Read moreI wanted to take a minute to thank you for helping me learn to accept the help of others. I have always been good at giving, but not so great at receiving. I think part of that came from me not feeling worthy. I doubted why anyone would want to give to me or to share with me when they could share with someone of greater value. I even had problems accepting a compliment. I struggled to believe that anybody could think there was anything nice to say about me.
Then I hit bottom. I lost the feeling in my right leg and the ability to drive. Then I lost my paratransit services. With each loss, I had to open myself up to asking for help. I had to ask friends for rides to work, to the grocery store, to the doctor’s office. It was so humbling, and still is, when others so willingly give so that my needs might be met.
Read moreDear God,
I am not even sure what to say today. Other than please forgive me. I am just going to start with that. I have been intentional about my thoughts, words, and deeds on so many levels. However, today was one of those moments when I was intentional about what came out of my mouth, but not what went into my mouth or through my head. So please forgive me for not really thinking about why I was craving something fatty. Forgive me for not turning my back on the custard when I realized it was not the frozen yogurt, I had originally thought it was. Forgive me for not being intentional enough about my feelings, thoughts and actions.
Some days I am so much better at being intentional then others. So rather than beat myself up for what I did today
Read moreDear God,
I want to thank you for the reminder of the transformative power of love. I was so moved by this video and the story of those who radiated love out to those whose actions and beliefs had led to such a devastating effect on their lives and families. As I watched it, I was reminded of how my Bubby had taught me to pray for those who hurt me. That lesson first started when I was 13, at least that is when I first remember it. It was when I was gang raped by people I went to school with and had to sit in the same room as so I could finish my education. She had told me that I needed to pray for my own healing, but that I also needed to pray for forgiveness and healing for all those who had violated me.
She would always tell me that holding on to hate for them would only make me sick, angry, and bitter and that was not who you had created me to be. So she taught me to pray for them and for me until there was only love in my heart and I had forgiven them for what they had done. Maybe that is why I was at such piece decades later when one of them came to pay his condolences when I was home preparing for my father’s funeral. It was odd that he needed to come by after all those years to seek forgiveness. He somehow thought that he needed me to forgive him; the sad thing was that I had done that decades ago.
Read moreSo I am not sure why I ever doubt whether or not I will know what to write you about when I sit down to journal with you. Seriously, like I would ever run out of things to talk with you about. I guess that is why my faith in you is so strong. I know I can have a conversation with you about absolutely everything in my life. I probably censor what I need to say less with you then with anyone. Maybe that is because I know you hear all my thoughts anyway, so why try to come to you and pretend I am someone that I am not. You observe my thoughts, my words, my actions, and have already searched my heart. So there is no need for me to pretend with you.
While I would like to say I have always been this close to you, I know that is not the case.
Read moreSo I was sitting here this morning about all I have been through in my life and I know that I have made it here because of my personal relationship with you. It is through you and my relationship with you that I have come to experience an intimacy that I have not been able to experience with a human person, not even Zoe, and I know you sent her into my life.
I think about all the times I came close to dying and you would whisper in my ears, all is well my daughter and then you brought me through. I think about all the times I wondered how I was going to make it through the summer financially and you always provided for me one way or the other. I think about all the times I doubted if I was doing what you wanted and needed me to do in my life and you would send someone to say thank you. I think about the times I had those moments of doubt as to whether I could do something or not and you would say, come Sarah Bella, let’s do this.
Read moreToday I just want to thank you for helping me starve myself to health. For so long in my life, I have held onto fears which have contributed to health problems and eating issues. While I know you have been waiting for me to be ready to do the healing work, it was not until about a year ago that I was ready to tackle the hardest of the issues and fears.
That is when I had to be like a jaguar and stalk out the single biggest fear underlying my relationship with food. Once I pulled it out, root and all, I was able to starve those fears to depth. As I did so, it gave me new understanding of the Cherokee story about the two wolves. In most aspects of my life, the wolf of love and faith had prevailed.
Read moreThis month, as I have been thinking about the practice of faith, I have come to realize the importance of reflecting on the beliefs on which my faith is built and which govern the way I live my life and practice my faith. What I believe has been influenced by what I learned while attending Hebrew School, growing up in a Jewish home, my study of scripture, and my readings. Probably most influential in my life has been the writings of don Miguel Ruiz, Pema Chodron, Osho, Rev Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Ghandi.
I believe that we are born in the image of the Ultimate Consciousness, who is love and that we are called, as stated in Micah 6:8, to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with God. I believe that we are all called to speak the truth in love and to do justice with a spirit of non-violence. I believe the Ultimate Consciousness is greater than any single denomination or school of thought. I believe the Ultimate Consciousness has spoken to people through a diversity of sacred texts and is present in a diversity of worship communities.
Read moreI have been reading a book by Joan Chittister called A Passion for Life: Fragments of the Face of God. It is a book about more than two dozen saints and prophets--from Hildegard of Bingen to Martin Luther King, Jr., --who speak to the urgent spiritual questions of our time. Reading this book has gotten me thinking about who the “living saints” are in my life. Who are the people for me who have inspired me spiritually? Who are the people whose enthusiasm for the Divine has been contagious and helped me grow and evolve in my own life?
I came across a picture of Mother Teresa on a cover of Time magazine which called her a living saint. It got me thinking what do I even mean by saint?
Read moreSo I have been thinking this month about devotion and what I am devoted to and how I express my devotion. Recently, someone asked me how I can express my devotion without being a part of a formal worship community. I smiled as I realized that for me, I am part of a formal worship community. I gather each day with my readers around the world in our own way and in our own time and we meditate on a thought you have led me to each day. Then I give thinks for at least five things that have happened or I have become aware of in the last 24 hours. Sometimes I feel like there are more than five, but I always feel as if I am supposed to stop at five for some reason. Maybe that is because the number 5 is about your grace and goodness. I remember reading once that the Ten Commandments are really two sets of five commandments. The first five have to do with our treatment and relationship with you and the last five have to do with our relationship with others.
Read moreDear Ultimate Consciousness,
The past few days I have been thinking about all the ways devotion takes form in my life. Today’s thought for the day seems to capture the essence of what I have been feeling. I have been thinking about how I practice devotion to the Ultimate in my life and how I practice devotion to my own personal self-development and to my relationship with those I love.
I guess it really hit me last night when I was talking about my relationship with you at the spiritual journaling workshop. I have been using the phrase I picked up from Doreen Virtue’s book Assertiveness Training for Earth Angels and telling people I am employed by God Inc. I love the understanding that comes from knowing you hired me to do specific things here on earth and it is in the process of doing so that I am able to practice and experience devotion in my life.
Read moreI remember when I was pastoring how once a month we would pour libations. When I water the plants, which I should do more often, I think about my parents and many of their relatives who went before them. I also think about my foster parents and my birth parents, who I have no memories of and honor them.
Initially, I thought this was an African spiritual tradition. Then I became aware of how it was also a Native American tradition. Recently, I became aware this is also a part of Shin Buddhism and is known as the Pure Land Tradition. According to Taitetsu Unno this tradition emphasizes awakening to "the Name-that-calls" and recognizing the boundless compassion that sustains and connects all of life. Some of this message is conveyed in the following poem by Mitsu Aida.
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