My Places

My Places

There are days
and moments
that I wake up in fear
or in pain,
not physical,
but emotional, mental, or spiritual
and I just want to
curl up and cry
and scream stop.
Then I change my focus and
journey to my places
where I find peace -
my rocking chair,
the shower,
my prayer and meditation garden.
Each has something about it
which allows me to connect with
the peace which transcends understanding.
I find myself alone with Spirit,
experiencing healing grace,
love,
insight, and
understanding.
There is something about these places
which grounds me,
cleanses me
and brings me peace.
We all need those places,
where are yours?

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Messenger

No I am not talking about Facebook,
I am talking about the Ultimate,
the one who whispers in your soul,
the one who shows up with answers
in the most mysterious and
unusal of ways.
It is the words which come during
times of silence, prayer and meditation.
It is the smells which
seem to come from nowhere
but bring us down
a trail only that smell can.
It is the symbols,
sights,
tastes,
feels,
words, and
sensations
which lead us
guide us,
inspire us,
and transform us.
As a friend reminded me last night
even the Ultimate uses Facebook messenger.
For some reason I messaged her
to let her know she wa in my prayers
She wrote me back to thank me for
answering hers.
and wanted to know how I knew
a family member had just passed over.
This is not the first time I have felt
led to message someone
only to find out they needed
to know they were loved and
someone was holding them in prayer.
Whether you are giving or receiving,
be open to the messages and
be open to being the messenger

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Sometimes

Sometimes it is something that happened
or a quote I read,
which inspires me
and the words that I write.
Sometimes it is my emotions,
the tears,
the joy,
the feelings,
which seem to come from
nowhere,
but I know
come from deep within.
Sometimes
the wounds open
for unexpected reasons,
like remembering the
day I was adopted
or the days my parents died.
Sometimes it is the memories of joy
like the day my wife proposed
or my son flew up
for the first time.
Sometimes it is the injustice
like when people are killed
as a result of hatred
and injustice.
There is not a thing
which inspires me
to speak, write, or create.
It just flows,
like a river of energy
which flows from within
and finds its way through
my heart, mind, and soul
and ultimately through
my fingers.
If my sharing makes a difference,
touches your heart
and inspires you, then
I am grateful the Universe
is using me
as a conduit to bring
us together.

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Healing

I can’t speak for anybody but myself,
but I hate those days where I just feel off.
Those days where I feel distracted,
where I feel off balance.
Those days where I am hungry,
but don’t know what I want to eat.
I am tired,
but I can’t seem to sleep.
I have tons to do,
but do not have the desire
or the focus to do anything.

My brain won’t shut off and
I just want to scream.
It is in the midst of that storm,
that the wise voice in me
tells me to just stop.
Eat, drink, make sure
I have taken my meds,
lay down,
stop the clutter in my head,
turn everything off,
and focus on the silence.
It is in the midst of the storm,
when I drag myself
to the silence,
that I find my peace
and clarity
and the wisdom
to repair what was broken
and remind me
what I need to do
to stay balanced, focused, and centered
and get back to that space
if sending and receiving
the most positive of energy
to myself and others.

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Silence

Silence

Sometimes my wisdom,
my deepest understandings
come in the midst of my silence.
they do not come when I am speaking,
but rather when I am silent,
like following the urge from within
to wake up out of a deep sleep
and go to the bathroom.
It comes from this deep wisdom
we see even in infants who
know to suck on a nipple
and be fed.
We see it in the ways
salmon tend to know
to swim upstream
or the things our bodies
tend to know how to do
without instruction.
Sometimes it is in the
silence, that we receive
the guidance and inspiration
of the Universe.
It comes when we give
the Universe our undivided attention
and exist in silence.

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Inner Ancestor

I look at myself
and I see my ancestors.
I know I am a reflection
of the lineage I know
and the lineage I do not.
I never met my birth parents
but I see them when I look at myself.
I see my
birth family

foster family, and my
adoptive family.
I them
in the way I look,
behave,
dream,
and live
I learn about them
each day by the way
they live through me,
guide me,
and inspire me
I am grateful to be the
embodiment
of their wisdom
their beings, and
the legacy they left
within me.

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Giving

My mother always said
it is better to give
then to receive.
She taught me to give,
but she did not teach
me about the what
and the when
of giving.
Sometimes what we can give
is not what people need
or when they need it.
Sometimes what is needed
in that moment of time
is not something we can give
no matter how much we want to.
It’s about the types
and the timing.
It’s about being the right person
at the right moment
with the ability to give
the right gift
It’s not about the gift itself,
but about it
being the time for
the gift
to be a gift
and not just
an offering
which is not
fully appreciated

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Journaling

I struggle to journal
or so I said,
but I have my journals
where I have chronicled
what I am grateful for,
what inspires me,
what I intend to manifest,
and what brings me joy.
It never ceases to amaze me
the memories and
the lessons
which come back to me
when I go back and read them.
I see patterns,
understandings,
beliefs,
attitudes,
and actions,
when I look back
and see things I
could not see in the moment.
I see growth,
I see emotion,
I see healing,
I see transformation.
I laugh,
cry,
and sit in the moments
my entries bring back
and then I give thanks
get inspired
and remember
what I wanted to manifest
and what I need to do
to bring more joy into my life

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Asking

Asking

Asking questions
is so important.
It is what helps me grow
in my understanding of life
and of humanity.
At the same time, sometimes
asking questions can be scary.
It takes courage
to ask questions.
It takes courage
to want to dive deeper
to seek understanding
where there is confusion.
Sometimes I want to ask,
but also want to feel safe
with the person
or in the situation.
Sometimes I find it easier
to ask questions
of the Ultimate
then I do of others.
Perhaps it is because
of the trust
or lack there of.
In any case,
not asking
keeps me paralyzed
and asking
while scary
brings me to a deeper
relationship with others
and with the Ultimate

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Learning

my brother tells me
I am a perpetual student.
I love learning.
Every moment,
every experience,
everything I do,
and every one I meet
s an opportunity to learn something new.
Learning for me,
is like being given a ring of keys
to the Universe.
I learn more about the Universe,
the people in it,
the way things work,
the way they do not,
the gifts we all bring to the table,
the way the Ultimate works
in the lives of others.
The more I learn,
the more I am able to teach others,
because my understanding
is deeper and broader.
The more I teach,
the more I learn.
My students teach me
what they are learning,
and it becomes like a meal
a potluck of wisdom and knowledge
we share with each other.
Learning opens my eyes,
my heart,
my soul,
my senses, and
my mind.
Perhaps it is this
ever sense of
evolving and transforming
which makes me love
learning.

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Grappling

When I grapple with the complex issues I teach,
I find myself breaking it down to
three questions.
Should I care,
should I do anything,
and what should I do.
I do care.
I care about the injustices
in the world
and to varying degrees
I feel as if I should do something.
I want to do something for others
and their inequalities
and injustices.
Sometimes I just don’t know what
to say,
to do,
or how to begin.
Sometimes I care
and I want to do something
I just don’t know what.
Sometimes I need to sit and listen
to the ideas and needs of
the ones I want to fight for.
I need to listen to those who
understand the cultural,
political,
economic,
spiritual,
sociological
and other complexities
which
shape what I call an injustice.
More importantly I need to listen
to see if others even consider
what concerns me
to be an issue.
What appears to be an injustice to me
may not be to others.
That can be so frustrating,
but then I remember people
do not see my inequalities
as inequalities.
They do not see my injustices
as injustices.
I grapple with that as well

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Every Move I Make

Every thing I do
every thing I think
is a spiritual task.

I sat there this morning
as I was feeling the warmth
of the cast iron bowl in my hand
that this was the warmth and comfort
I feel when I know
I am with the Ultimate.
When I see the sacred in everything,
whether it is taking out the trash
or cleaning
or cooking
or eating
or sitting in a meeting,
then it takes on a new meaning.
It is not just a chore to be done,
it is time with the Ultimate.
It is a reminder that the next moment
is not promised.
I have to live each moment
as if it were my last
and perform each task
as if it were a spiritual one
a way of connecting
with the One.

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Teaching and Learning

teaching and learning
are not about what happens
in the classroom.
Teaching and learning
happens in every moment of life.
Everyone I have ever met
no matter for how long
has been a teacher.
Whether I allowed them to teach me or no
was about me.
They were sent to teach me.
Being a teacher has nothing to do with
age,
relationship
or lack there of.
I have learned from
the homeless,
the prostitute.
the professor,
the child,
the repairman
the trash man,
the stranger on the street.
The world is my university,
whether I attend and am open to learn or not
is about me.
I am also my own teacher.
The thoughts and feelings
which run through my head,
and bubble up from inside me
are lessons I choose to learn or not;
be taught or not.
Even this poem
as simple as it is,
is teaching me about teaching and learning

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Making the Time

How many times have I said
I am too busy
I am too tired
I have too much to do
I am in too much pain
I am whatever the excuse is.
The reality is that
I have to make the time
for what is important
I should never be too tired to pray
or too busy to read
or crochet
or the things which
bring me joy.
I should never be working
so much that I cannot
have time with my wife
There are always things to do
but time with family and God
and time for myself is important.
I deserve the time to write my poetry,
to read or listen to an audio book
to spend time with Zoe
to listen to the inspiration
and guidance and answers
that come from the Ultimate.
I will still get it all done,
but I am also going to
make the time
for that which I say are
priorities in my life.

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Knots and Bridges

I was a little girl
when my Bubby taught
me that being me
meant I had to learn how to
tie knots and build bridges.
It meant I was always supposed to be
hospitable,
whether I wanted to or not.
it wasn’t about being nice or kind,
it was about being the one
who tied knots and built bridges.

it was about me moving
outside my comfort zones
and helping others move beyond theirs.
It was about helping start conversations
between lose threads
and building bridges
where opposing sides
could safely meet.

Your job is
to tie knots and build bridges.

It is about you finding that
wholeness and peace
within yourself
and allowing others to
see and understand
 you have and are
tying knots and building bridges
in your own life.

This is why I named you
Sarah Bella, she said
beautiful princess.
Your mission is to
unify the world
in your own way
as only you can
by tying knots and building bridges.

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Three Things

There are 2 things you must do
Pat Parker said
in a poem,
which lives with me today
White people, if you want to be my friend,
there are two things you must do.
First, you must forget that I am black.
Second, you must never forget that I am black.
It is that dance between
remembering and forgetting
which opens us up to
knowing people for who they are
in a way we are not
always mindful of.
So who ever you are
if you really want to be my friend
you have to forget all the things
you think you know about me
you have to stop dressing me
in the stories, stereotypes, and discourse
about the identities you dress me in.
At the same time
don’t forget any of those identities
because they have shaped my life
and continue to do so
whether I want them to or not.
While all of that is who I appear to be
I am more than any of that
and the me that is rarely seen
is the one who I am
when I am alone with
my private dancer.
That dance is where
I grow and evolve,
allowing myself to
become one with the one
who knows my soul
and teaches me how
to radiate love
to all as I teach them
to dance with me.
So if you want to be my friend
really be my friend,
there are three things you must do.
First, forget all the identities you dress me in.
Second, never forget those identities you dress me in.
Finally, remember that like a dance,
I am never the same person twice.

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My Tears

My tears
they roll down my face
and sometimes
when I am having a good cry
they moisten the ground
because the pain flowing
out of my heart is so power
and so intense.
Like the Native Americans
of days gone by
I leave a trail of tear.
These tears are a trail
that pre pare me for the future.
My tears are like rain,
they keep the soil most
so growth can happen.
My tears  
keep my heart moist
so it never becomes
hard and uncaring.
My tears
keep me humble
and help me give
thanks for all I have
not had to endure in my life.
My tears
keep me connected
to humanity and
allow me to empathize
with their pain.
My tears
enable me to give thanks
to the universe
for the pain and suffering
without which
I would not be me.

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Darkness and Light

Darkness and light,
they are not as separate
as we would want them to be.
It seems like each step
I take towards the light,
I see a bit more of the darkness.
With each step I move forward
I am confronted by that which
I need to let go of.
it is like a dance with the partner
I want to be with
and the shadows that live within me.
I tell myself I can do this
and the shadows surface and
remind me all I need to let go of
the self doubt,
the fear of being abandoned,
the voices saying I am not enough
and then the light speaks to me
and reminds I can do this
and I will never be alone
and I have everything I need
to achieve my dreams
I just need to believe.
So I focus on
believing and achieving
and know that I am not alone
in having to find the courage
to battle my darkness.
In the process,
I give thanks for the darkness
because it brings me
closer to the light.

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i am Worthy

If you want it,
just get it for yourself.
My wife says this to me
all the time,
because I rarely
buy anything that
is just for me.
I am worthy of
treating myself to
something every once in a while
like an everything bagel
with lox and Temptee cream cheese.
or getting my hair done
or sleeping in
or buyins some seafood
or new socks.
I am worthy of
rewarding myself for
the hard work that I do.
Those treats do not need
to cost much,
they just need to be
something I desire,
something I would not
normally do for myself.
These gifts are vital to my well being.
They are me paying me
for what I have accomplished.
They are those special moments
where I say I love you to myself
and remind myself
I am worthy.

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Celebrate the Moment

Happiness,
like other feelings,
is a moment.
It is not a wave,
it is not a length of time,
it is not unending.
It is like a wave.
It comes,
we experience it,
and it is gone.
Then it comes again.
In that moment
we celebrate the way we feel.
We celebrate the
happiness,
the experience,
the situation, and
all that is.
It is that moment,
when the joy spreads through us
and fills us with that feeling
which only happiness can bring.
It is then that we sit and
celebrate the moment.

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