Life

Life

This path
it is not always easy.
The last few years especially
as we have learned how to
move through life being masked
not seeing people’s faces,
and not knowing who we could trust
being around and who we could not.
Students struggled through school
and then could not attend proms
or graduation ceremonies
other than on zoom.
Familiar life markers disappeared.
People lost employment and
companies had to pivot
just to keep their businesses alive.
Other industries emerged
and became household names
and continue to grow and evolve today.
In the midst of all these changes,
people died.
Those voids remain today with
empty chairs around the tables.
The C word used to be about cancer,
then it became about Covid.
We pretend as if it is gone,
but for some it never will be.
So many places I go still require masking
and I still mask even if its not.
I cannot risk being exposed
and I will not risk dying.
Life is not easy,
but nobody promised it would be.
Nobody promised me a rose garden,
just an adventure filled life
that would be more like a roller coaster;
a crazy ride I would be on forever,
until I got off
and gave thanks for all the adventures
in my life.

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Searching

Searching

I woke up to someone singing
looking for love in all the wrong places.
Throughout the day it had me thinking
about how often I look for reflections of myself
in others and in the world.
What if I am searching in the wrong place?
What if I am looking for the Ultimate in all the wrong places?
What if I looked for the stranger walking their dog in me?
What if I looked for the path in me?
What if I looked for the plants in me?
What if I looked for the sky in me?
What if I looked for the earth, air, fire and wind in me?
If I remembered that everything created by the Ultimate is within me,
would I be better able to see it all in me?
Would I stop searching for the Ultimate
in places other than myself?

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Spud Lessons

Spud Lessons

I was going through a bag of potatoes
when I heard my father’s voice
asking me if I remembered how to clean them.
I knew better then to say of course,
because I knew he was there to teach me a lesson,
or at least remind me of one.
I remember the day he taught me
how to clean potatoes.
He used to hate cleaning potatoes,
during the Korean war.
One at a time, he would clean them,
whenever he was on kitchen duty,
which seemed quite often.
His coming back to me was to remind me about
community.
I could be like he used to be,
cleaning them one at a time,
or I could put them all in a tub of some type
and create a washing machine kind of movement,
where the potatoes rubbed against each other,
connecting to,
interacting with,
and cleansing each other.
The potatoes were not cleansed one at a time,
they were transformed as a community.
Perhaps we all need to get in the tub together,
connect,
interact,
and help each other
grow, evolve and become more
then we can alone.

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Transforming

Transforming

Have you ever sat in amazement at how
God works in mysterious ways.
whether it is how people are bought together
or situations which arise to teach us lessons,
the Universe works in mysterious ways
to help us grow, evolve, and transform.
I keep learning how to transform how I see the situation.
Whether it is moving out of the stress and into peace
or releasing the victim role it is easy to fall into,
creatively transforming the situation
moves me through and teaches me lessons about life.
Like when my wheelchair was not running properly
and I felt my stress level rising
because my fairly new wheelchair was not working.
Before I completely lost it,
I remembered to stop and look for the blessings.
I began to give thanks for the warranty,
the spare chair in the garage,
the friend who cleared the drive of snow so it could come in the
house.
I remembered that prayer and meditation relieve my stress,
so I stopped, napped and released my concerns to the Ultimate.
I remembered I can still walk very short distances
and I have a wife who helps me when I need assistance.
By looking for the blessings,
thanks to my Bubby’s wisdom,
this situation, and others,
transformed itself from frustrating to fruitful,
all because I was willing to learn and transform.

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Boring?

Boring?

I remember telling my Bubby once,
just once mind you,
that I was bored doing something.
Honestly I don’t remember what it was.
I just remember her saying,
“oh really?  Keep doing it then.”
She would make me keep doing it
until I was enjoying what I was doing.
She would always ask me
“Are you enjoying it yet?”
The amazing thing is that
when I persevered and kept at it,
the most mundane task
would become interesting
and take on value.
One day she said to me,
“Do you think God is boring?”
God has never been boring to me,
but our conversation taught me
that every thing I do is about
honoring how I have been blessed.
So daily chores can be interesting,
when I think about them as a blessing.
When I can see the Ultimate in the simplest of things
like being able to wash my hands,
brush my teeth,
go to the bathroom,
dust my furniture,
file my papers,
and the list goes on,
then I can see the importance of what I am doing
and the simple task of keeping my desk clean,
becomes an opportunity to give thanks
for the desk I have,
the room it is in,
the home it is in
and the list goes on.
Dusting is no longer a boring chore,
but a way of giving thanks
as are so many other things in my life.  

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Great Conversations

Great Conversations

Sometimes talking with someone is so easy.
Other times,
I honestly just want to leave.
I stay, not because it is easy,
rather because it is needed.
Neither of us can grow if we stop.
We stay the same,
we do not change.
When we love each other,
we stay at the table and commit
to listening, hearing, and talking it through.
It doesn’t mean we like what we hear,
but we hear it anyway.
We think about what we do not like
and why we don’t
and talk through the discomfort.
the challenges,
the pain,
the truths,
and we keep talking through the tears
and the pain
and the discomfort
until we arrive at a place
of deeper understanding
and a closeness that only comes
from talking through the tough times.
Years from now it is not what was said we remember,
but the closeness we gained
in the greatest of conversations.

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Being Present

Being Present

Have you ever been having a conversation with someone,
but feel like you are in a conversation by yourself.
There seems to be a lack of reciprocity,
a lack of energy and focus,
and the inability to be present.
It is hard to have a meaningful conversation
when others are not present.
The same is true for me.
I have had to learn how to stop
and explain that I want to be present,
but at the moment I just can’t.
I belive in being honest,
present,
and polite
with those trying to engage with me.
When I can’t I honor all of us,
by politely exiting the conversation
and rejoin when I can be present

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Being a Janitor

Being a Janitor

I am the janitor of my life.
It came to me while
I was drinking a hot cup of soup
and my glasses fogged.
I was the one who caused my glasses to fog
and I am the one who had to give them time to defog
and to clean up after myself.
I have learned that sometimes I need to take them off
and just do one thing at a time.
Sometimes I create messes
when I do not need to.
I am the janitor,
the one who keeps my life in good condition and well maintained.
I am the one who has to vacuum and sweep up the debris,
mop up my life and keep it sanitized,
remove the trash,
recycle that which can still be used,
and keep the windows in my life
clean and clear,
just like my glasses
which steam up when I am drinking my soup.

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The Unimportant

The Unimportant

When I think about all the things I have to do,
some seem more important than others,
and in all honesty some just seem unimportant.
You know these things you just want to get through
so you can get to the important things
and the things you really want to do.
You want to get through the things which are of no value,
seem unimportant and thus mean nothing.
But this morning something made me stop
and look at the unimportant.
I began to realize that even the unimportant is important.
If nothing else, it helps me appreciate the things I consider
important
because without them the value of the important
would not be as visible, if at all.
The unimportant is not unimportant,
it is just less important at this point in time.
What if I saw the value in the unimportant,
what might I see.
Yesterday I was unimportant to someone,
but to others I am very important.
Just because others I do not see the importance
does not mean others do not and vice versa.
perhaps we can help each other see the gift and blessings in all of life
that which we think of as important and that which we call unimportant.
 

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Pollution

Pollution

Why is it that we regulate that which physically pollutes
the environment, but not that which pollutes the energy.
How many times have I thought something
which pollutes my thoughts and the words I speak.
I cannot think something I do not believe,
so what in my belief system is polluted.
What in my belief system needs to be outlawed,
to prevent me from thinking it,
which in turn would prevent me from speaking it.
I am mindful that our physical climate cannot be restored overnight.
We are working, well some of us,
to reduce carbon omissions,
and other things polluting the environment.
What if those of us concerned with the environment,
began by reducing the toxins from our belief systems?
What if we began by removing those beliefs which lead us
to value one group of people over another
or one quality over another?
What if we replaced fear with love?
What if we challenged ourselves to not speak
unless what we had to say was truthful, necessary and kind?
What if we worked on radiating love, light and positive energy into the world,
instead of hate, fear, and negativity?
What if we each tried to reduce the emotional, mental and physical pollutants in this world?
Let’s begin to not only save the planet and the animals,
but each other.

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Traveling in Place

Traveling in Place

The other day I rolled on to my porch
and sat there in 60 degree weather
soaking up the winter sun,
the breeze,
the remains of our garden,
and watching people walk and play.
Today, just one day later
and I rolled down my ramp
as quickly as I could
to get through the snow
and out of the 20 degree cold.
It reminded me of living in Texas
and how we would say, if you don’t like the weather,
wait a minute and it will change.
I don’t have to leave or get on a jet plane
to watch the season transform my landscape
and make me feel as if I am entering a new space.
I get to travel in place,
seeing the colors,
the textures,
the aromas,
and so much more change before my eyes.
Today I relish where I am,
tomorrow who knows what landscape will be before me

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In the Moment

In the Moment

Have you ever thought about what you do
during those what seems like
wasted moments.
That time when you are standing,
or in my case sitting, in line
or waiting in traffic,
or listening to the phone ring,
or sorting through junk mail,
or waiting in line at the store
and thinking you could be doing
better things with your life.
What if I took that time and did something radical
like prayed.
What if everytime I was doing nothing,
I did something and gave thanks,
took a moment to pray,
or meditate,
or listen to the symphony of the Universe
What if I enriched that time,
and made something out of nothing,
and treated each moment
as the gift and miracle that it is.

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Not About Me

Not About Me

There are those moments in life,
I won’t deny it,
that an affirmation,
a compliment
makes me feel good for a moment,
but in all honesty
I realize that what you are saying about me
is not about me,
but you.
Whether it is a compliment
or a criticism,
it is about you.
It is only true for me,
if and when I believe it is true
and my truth about me is ever changing
as I grow and evolve.
There are things I believe about myself now
I did not a year ago.
I had friends who used to tell me I am beautiful
and I would not believe them.
today, I don’t need anyone to tell me how beautiful I am
because I know my beauty radiates
from me and through me.
I am what I believe about me.
i appreciate what you have to say,
but what I appreciate most is how you see me
whether it is how I see me or not.

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Beauty

Beauty

Growing up, my mother would take me window shopping.
Rarely did we go into the store.
We would stop and look.
My mother would point out
the beauty in each window.
She taught me to see the beauty in life,
to be able to appreciate what I saw,
without having to have it.
Recently a friend of mine looked at me strangely
because I commented about a guy being handsome.
He is, but it doesn’t mean I want him,
or want to be in a relationship with him.
It simply means I can appreciate the beauty
the Ultimate has created in this world
and see and appreciate it for what it is.
Like Matthew Fox, I can see beauty in the cracks.
I can see the beauty in the stains in old coffee cups,
I can see beauty in all of creation.
Seeing it doesn’t mean I have to buy it,
want it,
or crave it.
It just means I see it,
appreciate it,
and give thanks for its contribution
to beautifying the world I live in.

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Beyond the Usual

Beyond the Usual

The crackfinder,
that is what she called me,
my major professor.
She said I saw value in the people
who had fallen into the cracks of society.
It was not just that I saw value,
I saw the Ultimate.
It is easy to look at temples and synagogues,
everyday images and representations of the Divine,
but what if we look beyond the usual representations.
What if we see the Ultimate
in the homeless person,
in the prostitute,
in the addict,
in the ones who we would call the least of thee?
What if we saw the Ultimate
in the animals that have been
abandoned,
neglected,
and left to die?
What if we saw the Ultimate
in the hood,
in those areas that even make the hood look good?
What if we moved beyond the usual
and saw the Ultimate in everything,
everyone,
and every place?
The Ultimate does not just shine in the
usual people, places and things,
but in the unusual.
Can you see the Ultimate in the unusual?
If not, look again,
and keep looking until you see
the Ultimate in the Unusual.

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Hatred

Hatred

Hatred
I grew up thinking this was the opposite of love,
then I learned the opposite of love is fear.
Hatred comes from fear.
It is an intense negative response to
that which causes us fear.
It can be a fear of people,
things,
or even ideas.
Fear comes from
false things or beliefs
which appear real.
As much as I hate to admit it,
there are moments I feel hatred.
However, as I was once asked,
what are you doing with it.
my initial response was
nothing.
but then I realized holding on to it
was not helping me grow or evolve.
Hatred is now an opportunity to evolve.
it is an opportunity for me to let go of
that which is keeping me in fear.
When I use this to help me grow,
I leave the hatred behind
and grow in my capacity to love.

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Expectations

Expectations

I hate expectations.
It seems like they set me up
to get hurt, angry, and disappointed,
especially when things do not turn out
the way I expect them to.
Agreements are one thing,
expectations are another.
Agreements mean I have reached an understanding
with others about how things will be.
Expectations are about me having my own understanding,
without communicating about what
I expect you to know or do.
Sometimes my expectations are not with people,
but with life,
like when I expect things will go the way I want them to.
to be simple, not hard, or
to be easy and not complex.
what is frustrating is when I do not even realize
I have an expectation,
until I am frustrated
and then I see it.
once I release my expectations,
I find peace
especially when I release
my expectations about the Divine.

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My Share

My Share

I have never minded doing my share of things,
whether it was work,
chores,
relationships,
and life in general.
I have never minded paying my share of the bills,
the meals,
or any life expenses
as long as I can do so without going beyond my means.
I have always thought about my share
in terms of stuff and things
but not emotions.
When I do, I realize I am more likely
to share in the joy and celebration,
then to carry my share of the burden of pain and suffering.
I know I cannot go through the challenges
but I can be present, listen, and empathize.
I can be there to share in the suffering of others,
doing what I can to bring about change,
show compassion,
and lighten the burden of others.
I know I cannot take away the burdens of others or of the world,
but I can do what I can to be present in times of need
and remember how others have been present for me
lightening mine by sharing the load.

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Hungry

Hungry

Have you ever had that craving
In the pit of your stomach
and are so hungry
and know you really need to eat something.
I get that feeling daily,
but not for food/
I wake up hungry
for time to just be with the Ultimate.
I wake up hungry
to be fed,
to be taught,
to be nurtured,
and to just be in
it's presence.
I am hungry
for all that I absorb
nutritionally,
emotionally,
mentally,
physically,
and spiritually
when I sit with it
and allow myself to be fed.
There is a satisfaction that comes
from being with the Ultimate
that cannot be satisfied any other way.
Sometimes it is not that I am hungry,
but that what the Ultimate fed me
makes me wants more.
I am always given just enough
to leave me hungry for more.

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Living Without

Living Without

Sometimes I close my eyes
and I remember you
and the memories flow back to me
and through me and keep me warm.
I look at those who are still here
and I remember how important it is
to create memories
with them while they are still here
so I can hold on to them when
the day comes that I have to live without them.
Then it dawned on me that
not only are those memories
important for me
but for you
as the day will come
when I am not here
and those memories
will keep you warm
when you are living without me.

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