Doing It

Doing It

I know how to fix it.
I know how to change it.
I know what needs to be done.
I just need to do it.
All too often we know what the problem is.
We know all about the problem.
We know the answers and the solutions.
We just do not act on them.
As a friend says about her weight,
I know how to lose it
I just don’t do it
and even when I do it.
I don’t keep doing it.
Resolving issues in our life
is not just about knowing how to address it,
it is about doing it.
It is about actively working
to change it
and once we have done it,
to keep on doing it
How much better would our lives be
if we did it and then
kept on doing it.

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My Home

My Home

When people hear how long I have had
to shelter in place,
they express their sorrow for me.
The reasons I could not leave are another story,
but not being able to leave
changed my way of living and loving.
I had to face this pivotal moment
where this would be a jail cell
where I served time for a crime I did not commit
or it would be a space so peaceful and loving
and filled with Spirit,
that I would have no desire to leave.
So don’t feel sorry for me that I live
in a space filled with the Ultimate’s presence.
I spend my life giving thanks for this blessing
and expressing my gratitude for this gift.
Home is not just where my heart is.
Home is where I get to be
in the presence of the one
who birthed me,
developed me,
transforms me,
and loves me unconditionally.
Home is the place
I truly prefer to be.

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Balance

Balance

I have my time on the seesaw to thank
for teaching me the importance of balance.
I learned how much I hated being held hostage in the air
and not being able to take turns going up and down.
Being able to take turns going up and down
or working with my friend to see if we could keep
it all in one place and us balanced
was when I had the most fun.
It was this joy
that taught me how important balance is
in my life.
Balance is not always physical,
sometimes it is about balancing my vices with my virtues
and teaching them to work together.
It is about seeing how the light and the dark
work together to strengthen and inform us.
It is about learning to balance the times I feel called to conform
and the times I need to express my freedom and self expression.
It is about knowing when I need to discipline myself and
when I need to let my imagination soar.
it is about finding that balance between questioning and accepting.
Balance is about allowing our opposites
and the opposites in the world to attract
and to bring out the best in each other.
Balance is not about either or.
It is about both and
In the midst of it all,
we experience balance.

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Pleasure

Pleasure

Pleasure,
it is something I am worth experiencing.
Pleasure,
is something I once felt unworthy of,
but I am.
Pleasure
is like a Sabbath moment.
It is time to be quiet,
to still my soul,
and enter into quiet time with the Ultimate.
Pleasure
is what prepares me for what is not.
It prepares me for the challenging times with the world.
Pleasure,
is a time to reflect and relax.
Pleasure
is something I need to practice,
and give myself that time to experience it all,
including pleasure.

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Creating

Creating

I can’t count the number of times
I have said,
I am not creative,
but I am.
Those creative powers live within
the artiest within me.
Creativity is not limited to those who others identify as artists,
it is a gift and talent that lives within each of us.
Anytime we learn how to relate to another human being,
we are expressing our creativity.
In the building of those relationships,
we create meaning
as we learn how our lives and our personalities fit together.
We learn how to create something more
then either of us is on our own.
Every day,
conscious or not,
I create.
Anytime I fit the puzzle pieces of life together
I am creating.
Today, I created meals and menus,
ways to play with a friend
opportunities to build my business,
ways to weave words and ideas together.
Creativity existed in the ribs I cooked
and the lecture I recorded,
and the life I am building.
May we remember to hold on to our inner artist
and create each day
and create within that creation.

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My Sanctuary

My Sanctuary

Growing up I would hear people talk
about where they went to worship or pray.
What my life has taught me is
where I am is my sanctuary.
Where I am is where I can sit
and lift up my prayers
and sing my praises.
Where I am is holy ground,
not because others proclaim it so,
but because the Divine is with me
wherever I go.
So whether I am in my home,
or in the middle of my prayer garden
or a formal worship space,
I am with the Ultimate
and I can pray and praise.
My sanctuary is not a separate space,
it is the space I create and carry with me.

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Stand and Wait

Stand and Wait
Often when I hear people complain
its about how long they had to stand and wait in line
or wait in traffic
or wait for X to happen.
I also know people who would love to stand on their own again
or like to drive and wait in traffic.
We tend to think about this time as
annoyance time because
we could be doing something more than
standing and waiting.
We can.
We can take that time
to count our blessings and give thanks
or silence our brain and meditate.
or think about something we can do
to help us on our spiritual journey.
What if we practiced thinking about this
time as a gift and
asked for more chances to
stand and wait in our lives.

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"Wow! What a Ride!”

"Wow! What a Ride!”

"Wow! What a Ride!”
those were the words of a desperate southern gentleman
about his life.
Every time I read his words
Hunter Thompson reminds me how I want to live my life.
His words remind me that I want to feel as if I just slid in
to home plate going wahoo.
I am reminded that life is like a roller coaster.
There are those times I am going higher then I am comfortable
and the times I am sliding, sometimes plummeting down
traveling solely in faith.
Faith knowing that one that bought me to the highest of highs
is the one that will bring me through the lowest of lows.
I cannot appreciate the highs without the lows.
It is this constant journey which guarantees me
as Hunter explained,
I will not be “arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body.”
Rather, I will be skidding in “broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming
"Wow! What a Ride!”

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Teachers

Teachers

After as many years as I have spent taking classes
I have met my share of teachers.
However, those who have taught me the most
in my life
are not amongst them.
There were a few like Dr Diane Samdahl and Dr Gail Ricciuti
who will always have a place in my heart
because that is where they taught from.
My life has been filled with people ,
like my wife, who has taught me what it is like
to truly be loved unconditionally.
Events,
like when I felt the feeling leave my right side and leg,
which taught me how to walk in faith and grace in all situations.
Places,
like our prayer garden,
which have taught me how the universe works and if I blink
I will miss the miracles happening before my eyes.
Things,
like my wax melts
which remind me to stop and breathe
and learn from the memories which still live in me
The teachers in my life,
are more then the people;
they are the place, things, moments, and experiences
which teach me
when I open myself to learning
what they strive to teach.

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Why I Cry

Why I Cry

Why do you cry?
They wanted to know.
They said you seem to cry when you are sad,
when you are angry,
when you are happy,
whenever you are feeling
anything in depth, you seem to cry.
I have long been told
crying is an act of weakness.
However, for me crying is like
the emotions flowing out and through me.
Tears are like a gift.
they are like the water
which allows the rainbow to shine.
My tears create a path,
like a river,
for the gifts of the Infinite to shine,
and speak to others
in ways no other expression can.
My tears can purify
and cleanse the pollution from my life.
My tears can rejuvenate
and enable me to shine.
There is nothing wrong with my tears.
Sometimes they are just
how God speaks to and through me.
So when I need to,
I cry. 

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I Feel Good

I Feel Good

Feel free to begin singing the song if you must,
but I was thinking about
the things I do,
which make me feel good,
like cooking for others.
It is not so much what I cook,
but the joy it brings them
and the stress it takes off of them.
It is the opportunity to feed and serve others.
Like my neighbor who thanked me
for giving her a night off and
the joy her son, who has multiple disabilities,
had in eating my 7 cheese mac and cheese.
Or the look on another person’s face
when I gave him 2 loaves of bread fresh out of the oven.
or the day I felt inspired to make a pot of soup for a family
only to find out they were all sick
and had been craving something warm and healing.
When I cook for others,
all I can hear is feed my sheep.
I love watching people eat things
loaded with memories
like Bruce crying over lemon drop cookies,
or a friend of mine who become emotional over
spaghetti, meatball and gravy.
I love cooking to heal others
like feeding the sick during Covid.
Cooking is not the only thing which makes me feel good,
but feeding and serving others
makes me feel good.
You don’t need to thank me
when I do,
just know you made my day
and made me feel good. 

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Feel It All

Feel It All

There are those feelings
I look forward to feeling
and those I prefer not to feel.
The reality is I have to
feel it all.
I can’t suppress one feeling
without suppressing others.
If I want to feel my joy,
really feel my joy,
I also have to allow myself to grieve
and cry
and feel the pain.
If I want to experience the wonder and
mysteries of life,
I have to also allow myself to
fear that which I do not want to feel.
I have to embrace all the feelings.
the ones that make me
jump with joy
and curl up in tears.
I have to find the courage
and the openness in my soul
to feel it all.

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If I Laugh

If I Laugh

I woke up thinking about you
and how much I miss you
and even though you’ve been gone decades now
I still miss you with all my heart.
I have come to realize that
if I laugh,
even if it just a little bit,
it relieves the pain
that I feel when I want to talk to you.
If I laugh,
I can remember
the joyous memories I have of you
instead of the hole left
when you returned to the eternal home.
If I laugh,
just a little bit,
I can forgive myself
for the plans that didn’t work
that would have given me one more memory of you.
If I laugh,
just a little bit,
I can remember
how you taught me to laugh,
to be kind,
to have patience
and to the parts of you
which live within me.
If I laugh,
just a little bit,
I can find that place of peace
I have in my memories of you.
Sometimes when I laugh,
it is because it helps me through the grief
and leads me back to the joy.
so give me my space to heal
if you see me laugh,
even just a little bit.

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Living with Grace

Living with Grace

Every moment
is an opportunity to make a difference,
to help someone in need.
We are constantly invited into situations
which enable us to show grace.
They are woven into the tapestry
of every day life.
In them, we find chances to be
creative,
helpful,
healing,
and graceful.
We have a chance to make a difference,
lighten someone’s load,
or just do some good in the world.
Today, I will walk with discernment
and be open to those moments
provided for me to be of service. 

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This Is Me

This Is Me

There is always going to be someone who does not like me, |
but that is about them, not me.
I love me, just as I am.
I was created by I am
in the image of I am
to be just as I am.
This is me.
What you do not like in me
is about what you do not like in yourself.
What I do not like about me
is about me
and the lies which I am cleansing myself of.
I need to begin with the truth of my beauty,
through which and
in which I was created.
This is me.
There is not,
never has been,
never will be
anyone exactly like me.

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Don’t Take Things Personally

Don’t Take Things Personally

Don’t take things personally.
That’s what I learned.
What others say about me
is only true
if and when I believe it to be true.
When I allow others words to define me,
my sense of self becomes unpredictable.
Whether I like myself or not
becomes dependent on the words of others,
not on my own sense of self.
The words of criticism and rejection
can only hurt or define me
if I allow them to
and I refuse to let you
thrust me down.
Nor do I allow you to rise me up,
because I am still then allowing you
to control and define me.
I am who I am and
was created by the great I am.
The one who created me
is the same one who maintains me,
sustains me
and keeps me from riding the waves
of others opinions.
I am who I am
and while you can say what you want,
I don’t take it personally.
I just tell myself
Love yourself just as you are.

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Rituals

Rituals

It seems like most people I know have them,
especially around the holidays.
I really don’t, well not anymore.
My most important rituals are the ones I do every morning.
They help me hold on to feelings and memories.
They have helped me find meaning in my life.
They keep me functioning.
There are days they lift me up,
and days they see me through.
Sometimes they help stay connected
to myself and to others.
It is not so much what the ritual is.
It is what it does for me
and for you
and for us.
Whether I share them with you or not,
the rituals in my life are sacred to me
and that is all that matters.

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I remember

I remember

Cubbins
I love cuddling with you
and holding you in my arms.
There are nights I do not need you,
but being able to know you are here
is enough and
brings back all the memories.
I remember the first time I saw you.
I remember how coworkers paid off my layaway,
so I could bring you home.
I remember all our conversations.
I remember how you traveled with Andy
when he had his top surgery
and how you were with my mom
until the day she died.
I remember how you comforted
those who were grieving
and all those who needed you.
I remember so much more
about you and the miracles you have performed
then anyone will ever know.
All they will see is a stuffed bear on my bed.
I see you and
all I remember about where you have been
and the love you have shared.
I remember you.

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Siting With My Demons

Sitting With My Demons

I have always been taught to avoid demons,
but my journey to grow
keeps bringing me back to them.
I have come to realize they are there to help me,
to challenge me,
to help me move through that which is limiting me.
They are there to bless me,
but only if I use them to grow and evolve.
The longer I try to avoid them,
the more they
seem to haunt me.
Rather than run from them,
I now sit with them,
and seek the wisdom of the Ultimate
in how to use them to help me evolve.

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Inspiration

Inspiration

What inspires you?
That is what she asked me
and honestly, I know and I don’t.
Sometimes I feel as if the poem was just given to me
and other times it feels like I have gone through
a long and difficult labor.
There are times that the inspiration just comes to me
from a photo, an image, a quote, or a question.
Sometimes it seems to come from within,  
from a memory that lived deep inside,
until now
and then like in the delivery room
I get into this spiritual position
and there is pushing and breathing
and ultimately it is born.
Other times,
it floats through my imagination,
begging for me to grab hold and
do something with it.
if not,
it is gone
and I back to waiting
for another source of
inspiration.

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